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Alcohol support

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Original poster

Alcohol has destroyed me

244 replies

startingover202 · 04/07/2023 19:54

I have ruined my relationship, my family and my health through drinking wine every day.
I am on day 3 of not drinking. I've had anxiety and shaking and my sleeping is bad but I'm determined not to drink.
I was shaking and anxious everyday after a drink as well as constant diarrhoea so I have to ride this out.
I'm slightly better today so hoping tomorrow will be better.
Has anyone else had withdrawal symptoms?
Alcohol services kept telling me not to completely stop but that wasn't helping.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 04/07/2023 19:59

How much were you drinking daily? Hopefully you can ride it out and things will get better. Well done on deciding to stop.

HappyJoyousFree · 04/07/2023 20:03

I would listen to the alcohol services on this one. Alcohol withdrawal can potentially be fatal - not to worry you - but maybe some medical oversight would be a good thing? If you really don't feel like titrating down is right or working for you I would look at the symptoms of withdrawal and know what would be a sign you needed medical intervention so you can get help. Is there anyone you trust who could keep checking on you as a safety measure etc.

Apart from all that we'll done. It takes strength and courage to admit there's a problem and even more so to do something about it. I hope you get the support you need both now and after. Remember it's the 1st drink that gets you drunk. Sending big hugs 🫂

Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 20:04

It can be pretty dodgy to just stop (depending on how much) not just for seizure reasons, sometimes though needs must. Your sleep should settle down eventually, it's a royal pain at first though when you feel awful and just want to pass out for a few hours. Sleep is magic though, food is important too just bits if you have no appetite, good luck.

Original poster
startingover202 · 04/07/2023 20:05

It was one bottle a day to start with, sometimes more.
When my relationship started breaking down 8 months ago I stopped eating and the drinking increased to upto 2 bottles on an empty stomach.
I became nasty and aggressive and seriously unwell. I started lashing out at everyone.

OP posts:
Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 20:07

Yeah the not eating was when I got into serious waters, drinking is one thing, but drinking and not eating is a death wish. I'd look into some support services, if you feel that would help.

YouJustDoYou · 04/07/2023 20:09

I suffer from severe headaches and what I call "mind jitters" in that not my body but my actual brain will "jitter" as I turn myhead so I jerk and can't even look straight. It's pretty horrific.

But being free....being free of the alcohol....you can't have it in your house. You rplace with something else (for me it;s cheese and snacks).But the sleep...I actually sleep now. I have my memory back. OP, well done in just trying.

Original poster
startingover202 · 04/07/2023 20:11

Thank you for the replies.
Alcohol services just call every 3 weeks for a 10 minute chat.
I can't cut down. Once I start I don't stop until I pass out. I'm absolutely sick of doing it.
I have googled withdrawal symptoms so know what to look out for. I do have people checking on me.
I think I'll be ok as I don't constantly drink all day, only in the evening, but evening started getting earlier.

OP posts:
LadyWiddiothethird · 04/07/2023 20:19

If you are on day 3 of not drinking,keep going,do NOT drink.If you do you will be back to square one in an instant,tapering never works.

I am a recovering alcoholic,was 20years sober in May.I always found the first 3days horrific,during the years I repeatedly stopped drinking “for ever”.

Best thing I have done in my life is to stop drinking and not start again.Most people can stop,it is staying stopped that is the problem.

You are doing well,keep going.

I am in AA,it’s the only thing that worked for me and trust me I tried everything else first,counselling,doctors etc.the list was endless,wish I had just gone to AA,I have not had an alcoholic drink since my first meeting,it is wonderful to sit in a room full of people who have been through the same experiences.

keffie12 · 04/07/2023 20:30

Go to A.A: You will get the support of like-minded people there at all different lengths of sobriety. There is much support there as you want on a daily basis

I'm a long-term member of the fellowship. I'm 20 years sober.

Why do I still go? Because people stay around so others have the support when they come in.

There is too much to explain about A.A. It has given me a happy life where I don't want or need to drink.

Put all your preconceptions and prejudices to one side. We all have them.

Google Alcoholics Anonmyous in The U.K.

keffie12 · 04/07/2023 20:33

LadyWiddiothethird · 04/07/2023 20:19

If you are on day 3 of not drinking,keep going,do NOT drink.If you do you will be back to square one in an instant,tapering never works.

I am a recovering alcoholic,was 20years sober in May.I always found the first 3days horrific,during the years I repeatedly stopped drinking “for ever”.

Best thing I have done in my life is to stop drinking and not start again.Most people can stop,it is staying stopped that is the problem.

You are doing well,keep going.

I am in AA,it’s the only thing that worked for me and trust me I tried everything else first,counselling,doctors etc.the list was endless,wish I had just gone to AA,I have not had an alcoholic drink since my first meeting,it is wonderful to sit in a room full of people who have been through the same experiences.

Wow! Just saw your message above mine after I posted. The same length of sobriety has me. Congratulations.

Anythingbutsnow · 04/07/2023 20:39

Same here. 25 years sober in AA and happy. Never thought I could put sober and happy in the same sentence. Loads of online meetings to get you started but I'd recommend a face to face one if you can.

Original poster
startingover202 · 04/07/2023 21:00

Thank you everyone for the support.
Well done everyone on being sober.
Tbh I little bit of me thinks once I've had a good break from the alcohol I can go back to being a 'normal' drinker.
I have though of AA but I do have support from my family, even though I don't deserve it.
All I have to do is not buy that first bottle on the way home from work.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 05/07/2023 22:27

id really recommend getting some peer support. It doesn’t need to be AA as you may not find that’s a good fit for you, but it may be an online group or just a Facebook group or something. I do Bee Sober. There are others. Support from other people who are struggling with their drinking is unlike the sort of support you’d have from family and friends. And usually it’s the key to success. I’d commit yourself to 30 or 100 days AF and see how you feel. Bee Sober does a 30 day challenge. This Naked Mind does one too.

I did Dry January and loved it. I kept going to nearly the end of February. Then decided to go back to drinking but maybe not even every weekend. I hate to say it, but it was absolute carnage. I was a heavy daily drinker and I was right back to drinking heavily every day. Did another 2 months of drinking and then I was done. The 30 days (+) was enough for me to see what it would be like on the other side and the going back to drinking was enough to convince me I was absolutely fed up with living like that. It always takes a few starts and stops but it’s so nice to find others who are going through the same.

Findyourneutralspace · 05/07/2023 22:30

Start every day afresh. In the morning write a list of reasons not to drink and go back to it at the end of work if you feel tempted. Tell yourself, just not today. And repeat.
Good luck. It’s easy for it to spiral but you are making good steps in the right direction.

mikado1 · 05/07/2023 22:40

Well done op 👏 You've done the hard bit, you've made the decision to not start again. This is probably easier now than where you were, hard as it is, and it will get easier. The I am sober app is very good.

SpeckledlyHen · 05/07/2023 22:48

Google The Sinclair Method and naltrexone. It’s really helped many people I know in the same situation. Congratulations on day 3, hopefully the worst of the withdrawal is starting to subside and you start to feel better.

Original poster
startingover202 · 05/07/2023 22:50

Thank you everyone for the support.
I am day 4. I went to buy some bread and milk and walked past the wine isle. Habit would've had me picking a bottle up without a thought.
Even though I'm not great nothing could feel as bad as the last 8 months of drinking.
I drank to escape the thoughts in my head but all it did was magnify them. I just wasn't aware as I would have blackouts but my family would fill me in on the things I'd say and the non stop crying whilst pissed.
My life is not awful but alcohol was making it awful and everyone else's life awful.
It's these thoughts that are stopping me drinking.

I do have the naked mind app so will have a look around on that. I'm just worried after a while of not drinking I'll think I'm better and can drink normally again.

OP posts:
RubyMurry22 · 06/07/2023 00:06

Well done for getting to day 4! I’ve recently reached the 6 months mark and I feel so much better. I had started to think maybe I could moderate at about ( months AF but then read The unexpected joy of being sober and realised I wouldn’t be able to. I then read a few other quit lit books including Alcohol Explained which really helped me. I’m loving my new sober life I can go to the pub now and enjoy an elderflower presse and no longer wish it was a glass of Sauvignon Blanc!

RubyMurry22 · 06/07/2023 00:07

( = 5 months

TeeNoG · 06/07/2023 08:14

Congrats on getting to day 4.

I echo what others are saying, you need some kind of peer support. If you don't feel like talking to people yet, I'd recommend some good podcasts (the most helpful to me was Soberful) , read some quit lit (there's loads) and follow some sober pages on social media.

You are far from alone and it's very possible that your life is about to improve immeasurably. Good luck!

LittleBrownBaby · 06/07/2023 08:53

Well done OP. One small thing - can you start buying your bread and milk in a different shop. This sounds mad, but I supported my brother through alcoholism and one thing we did was remove all of those habits. He walked a different way to work (actually ended up changing job and moving town) just to get a way from that habit of popping in to the same shop and buying a bottle every day. My brother sadly passed away (separate to but maybe exacerbated by the booze) and he was three years sober and in the best place of his life. AA was brilliant for him. Good luck

rockingbird · 06/07/2023 09:09

Well done on day 4 keep going is my advice, one day at a time. I also blocked out life and my failing marriage with wine.. a lot of what you have said resonates with my own story. I knew I had to stop, I was also having black out and had no idea what I was saying - me and H were pretty toxic by then and it became a vicious circle. I know now one drink isn't enough so I have none. Life has changed so much, in August I'll have been wine free for a whole year! You can do it, sleep will get better and the cravings will be less. Keep telling yourself you cannot have just one.. trust me on this, one isn't ever enough and l before you know it you'll be back to a bottle or two. The benefits of not drinking are massively noticeable after two weeks. Less bloated, clearer eyes, skin colour changes and hair is more healthy. Not to mention your mental state. One day at a time OP - keep posting and talking, you've got this.

Catsknowwhatyouarethinking · 06/07/2023 13:50

You're doing so well @startingover202 You've identified why you were drinking. It was a coping mechanism for a very bad time.

I was four days sober but sadly succumbed last night at a work event. I'm really disappointed in myself. But won't give up.

Have you contacted your GP about the anxiety? They may be able to give you something in the short term (I don't know actually as I haven't been in touch with mine, or even alcohol services).

Keep posting and sharing with us. You have your family and a whole bunch of strangers on MN who are rooting for you. X

brightspice90DaysLater · 07/07/2023 09:02

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Mama678 · 07/07/2023 14:09

Hows it going op. Friday is here. Do you have some coping strategies for over the weekend? This Naked Mind book is good. Also there are lots of podcasts out there on the subject. Keep going 😊