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Alcohol support

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Original poster

Alcohol has destroyed me

244 replies

startingover202 · 04/07/2023 19:54

I have ruined my relationship, my family and my health through drinking wine every day.
I am on day 3 of not drinking. I've had anxiety and shaking and my sleeping is bad but I'm determined not to drink.
I was shaking and anxious everyday after a drink as well as constant diarrhoea so I have to ride this out.
I'm slightly better today so hoping tomorrow will be better.
Has anyone else had withdrawal symptoms?
Alcohol services kept telling me not to completely stop but that wasn't helping.

OP posts:
Sometimesgood · 10/07/2023 20:21

startingover202 · 10/07/2023 11:03

I have contacted AA.
Someone will call me within 48 hours.

There is a meeting at 8 this evening. I'm so scared of going. I don't want to be that person.
What kind of people go to meetings?

"What kind of people go to meetings?"

Doctors, nurses, dentists, solicitors, bin-men, cleaners, anyone who - regardless of the job they've chosen to do - struggles with the fight when it comes to controlling alcohol.

In other words, there is no 'kind' of person. Just being human qualifies.

TeeNoG · 10/07/2023 22:41

My experience of AA was very positive. Very friendly people who sincerely want to help you. You don't have to speak if you don't want to, just go along and listen. And yes, there is every type of person there!

mikado1 · 10/07/2023 23:00

Hope it went well!

determinedtomakethiswork · 10/07/2023 23:21

I really feel for you, and hope that you went to AA tonight. If you didn't, then they will still be there tomorrow and so will everyone here. We are all rooting for you.

Name99 · 11/07/2023 07:41

AA do online meetings too, you will need zoom.
Go to the website, there's a search box at the top of the website, instead of putting your postcode, type the word ONLINE.
It will bring up a list of meetings.

Thestartofsomethinggood · 11/07/2023 07:42

Hope you are okay this morning whether you went or not. 💐

pilates · 11/07/2023 07:50

I hope you went to the AA meeting op. I think you need their support to beat it and you will!

littleyellowarrow · 11/07/2023 08:26

One of my lovely friends has gone through this and has just hit 15 months sober. She was a very heavy social drinker and could never imagine life without alcohol in it but she then realised that alcohol was taking more than it was giving and she joined AA.

You can join online and don't even need to put your camera on, although my friend now goes to in-person groups. She's met some great new friends and is a totally different person.

You can absolutely get your life back! I think AA or group support that works for you is the answer to long term sobriety. Good luck!

Original poster
startingover202 · 11/07/2023 08:26

Sorry everyone I didn't go.
I felt so awful I couldn't leave the house.
I will get to a meeting but I'm on lates this week and could be difficult.
I did not drink last night which I suppose is a positive.
Awful nights sleep last night.
I feel I've let everyone down on here. And myself.
I am serious about stopping.

OP posts:
mikado1 · 11/07/2023 08:31

You haven't let anyone down. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, that's number one. Fantastic that you didn't drink yesterday, give yourself great credit for that. Online AA sounds like a really good option.

theemmadilemma · 11/07/2023 08:39

Op, what alcohol services are you using? Message me if you like. I used NHS detox and had counselling which was invaluable in staying sober.

I'm coming up 4 years.

You should be getting better substance abuse services.

Original poster
startingover202 · 11/07/2023 09:27

Thank you everyone.
Your support is really helping.

OP posts:
nobodysdaughternow · 11/07/2023 10:12

There was a documentary about AA recently. All kinds if everybody go to meetings.

My dh gave up alcohol in 2019 but relapsed in 2022.

He hid his drinking for 9 months until I found out. He goes to two meetings a week and is the most introverted man I've ever met.

We both didn't take his alcoholism seriously enough first time round. We both believed he would never drink again. AA taught us to take this addiction seriously. It is a mighty enemy but if you team up, you can beat it.

You can beat it op. Try to ignore the shame and self-loathing and start believing that you are a good person who just needs support and understanding.

Name99 · 11/07/2023 10:46

OP, try an online meeting they run 24 hours a day, there are specific women's only meetings too which are hugely supportive and really feel like a safe space.
The only people who can help you are people who get it ( other people with alcohol problems)

redfacebigdisgrace · 11/07/2023 10:56

@startingover202 Well done for not drinking last night. That’s brilliant.

amispeakingintongues · 11/07/2023 11:19

Join your local AA. Support from your family is great but nothing compared to AA. Well done OP for this super brave step!

mikado1 · 11/07/2023 14:56

And start to imagine this future you, alcohol free - How do you feel? What is your life like? What do you look like? Etc. See that person waiting for you.

Original poster
startingover202 · 11/07/2023 22:11

I have just got home from work.
I did not stop at a shop so sitting with a nice cup of tea.
I still don't think I'm out of the woods, the weekend proved that.
Once my lates have finished I will definitely go to a meeting.

OP posts:
lillybeal · 11/07/2023 22:13

Please do op, at least check it out and then decide if it's for you. You owe it to yourself. Well done for getting this far

Original poster
startingover202 · 11/07/2023 22:18

@mikado1 I don't actually want to think of my life alcohol free. It's been such a big part of my life for the last 10 years.
Holidays, lunches, days out, nights out, sitting in the garden.
I've enjoyed so much but reality is a lot of the time I don't remember getting home. I'm anxious the next day because of blanks. I've said things I shouldn't.
Thing's always started good but quite often turned to shit.
But I'm trying not too think to far ahead as an alcohol free life scares me.
I think I just have to take it one day at a time and make a choice that day not to drink.

OP posts:
mikado1 · 11/07/2023 22:25

That's more than fair startingover.. Well done on another good day. Remember as we get tired or stressed during the day, our ability to make the best decisions for ourselves dwindles. I remember reading a tweet by Marian Keyes which said she said goodbye to drink 26 years previously, she said it was her best friend and love of her life.. so that ties in with your feeling of loss. But ultimately you're not prepared, rightly, to take the consequences of it. Keep going.

redfacebigdisgrace · 11/07/2023 23:43

One day at a time is how I stopped too. Three years in and I haven’t had a drink.

Anythingbutsnow · 12/07/2023 07:48

If you call the AA helpline they can put you in touch with a local member who you can talk to. This might make you feel a bit more comfortable going to your first meeting if you have someone to meet there who you've already spoken to. The person will be a recovered alcoholic who has been through what you are going through so they will understand and be happy to talk on the phone. It will be another lady they will put you on contact with, never a member of the opposite sex.

Anythingbutsnow · 12/07/2023 07:50

Sorry I have just re read a previous post. Did someone contact you?
There is also a chat now service on the main AA website if you are more comfortable doing that.

Cockle1234 · 12/07/2023 07:54

This is a book worth reading OP, good luck amzn.eu/d/5V6Y5y3