Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Alcohol support

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Alcohol has destroyed me

244 replies

startingover202 · 04/07/2023 19:54

I have ruined my relationship, my family and my health through drinking wine every day.
I am on day 3 of not drinking. I've had anxiety and shaking and my sleeping is bad but I'm determined not to drink.
I was shaking and anxious everyday after a drink as well as constant diarrhoea so I have to ride this out.
I'm slightly better today so hoping tomorrow will be better.
Has anyone else had withdrawal symptoms?
Alcohol services kept telling me not to completely stop but that wasn't helping.

OP posts:
GardeningIdiot · 09/07/2023 12:28

If you're not prepared to even turn up at an AA meeting (or similar) and listen, then I don't think you're serious about this.

It is not fair to try to do it with just your family's support.

Original poster
startingover202 · 09/07/2023 12:51

@GardeningIdiot
I do have support from alcohol services.
Family support as in they are aware and are at the end of the phone for a chat nothing more.
But if the only way is AA I'll check for a meeting.

OP posts:
Original poster
startingover202 · 09/07/2023 12:56

@brightspice90DaysLater
I know exactly why I drink.
Too escape life and the thoughts in my head.

OP posts:
Findyourneutralspace · 09/07/2023 13:15

OP I’ve just started using an app called Reframe. I’m really impressed by it. It explores your relationship with alcohol, has a daily check in that you complete in the morning which motivates you for the day and there are Zoom meetings you can join.

I have a referral code for a month’s free trial. I’m only fairly new to it, but so far I’m enjoying using it and feeling positive about the journey I’m on.

Here’s the code if you (or anyone) would like to give it a try: GB65SH

GardeningIdiot · 09/07/2023 14:00

I know exactly why I drink. Too escape life and the thoughts in my head.

Exactly, so that's what AA or another sobriety group such as SMART address.

I doubt alcohol services are doing that.

Some women prefer a women-only AA group. Smart is available online.

brightspice90DaysLater · 09/07/2023 14:51

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
startingover202 · 09/07/2023 19:40

@brightspice90DaysLater
5 years ago I had a job i loved with colleagues that were friends, family I loved going out with and spending time with, a partner, weekends away, lovely days out and lovely holidays.

Now it's all gone.

OP posts:
mikado1 · 10/07/2023 07:43

How did yesterday go StartingOver202 ?

All that change is hard to take. Is that all because of alcohol? Unfortunately more alcohol is just going to make a bad situation worse and you know this. Your addicted brain is just lying to you when it tells you to go ahead.

I don't know if others agree but for now Id be avoiding the pub or any triggers. I agree wrt peer support, really beneficial to feel truly understood. How did yesterday go?

Andante57 · 10/07/2023 07:52

Op please give AA a go. There are meetings all over the country at different times of day and there will be one near you. Have a look online for a list of where to find a meeting.

Dumbphone · 10/07/2023 07:57

startingover202 · 09/07/2023 12:51

@GardeningIdiot
I do have support from alcohol services.
Family support as in they are aware and are at the end of the phone for a chat nothing more.
But if the only way is AA I'll check for a meeting.

Many of us have lived with addicts. Watching them say they can do it without AA seems like the most ridiculous thing to us, and a continuation of the lying and denial that alcoholism brings.

Could I give myself an eye test? Could I do my own haircut? If I needed legal advice would I ask my brother? No. For every need I would go to the expert, optician, hairdresser, lawyer. The experts in alcoholism are AA. You don’t get better than them. Get down there if you’re serious. For many this is the only way.

The guilt and shame are just unbearable AA will help you learn to understand them.

brightspice90DaysLater · 10/07/2023 08:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
startingover202 · 10/07/2023 11:03

I have contacted AA.
Someone will call me within 48 hours.

There is a meeting at 8 this evening. I'm so scared of going. I don't want to be that person.
What kind of people go to meetings?

OP posts:
Andante57 · 10/07/2023 11:12

What kind of people go to meetings?

Alcoholism affects people from all ages, backgrounds, income, religions, culture and nationalities. The meetings will reflect this.
What you will all have in common is powerlessness over alcohol and everyone at the meetings will understand and identify what you have been through/are going through.
If I make make one suggestion: look for the similarities of the shared experiences rather than the differences.

Andante57 · 10/07/2023 11:12

Well done, op for contacting AA.

Coyoacan · 10/07/2023 11:19

Brilliant about AA. Just remember that each group is different, so if you don't like one try another.

dotdotdotdash · 10/07/2023 12:16

Well done OP. You are taking positive steps. People who struggle with addiction come from all walks of life so I expect it will be a mix of all sorts of people.

MostlyBlueberryFlavoured · 10/07/2023 12:24

startingover202 · 10/07/2023 11:03

I have contacted AA.
Someone will call me within 48 hours.

There is a meeting at 8 this evening. I'm so scared of going. I don't want to be that person.
What kind of people go to meetings?

What kind of people?

Scared people, brave people, good people, people who struggle, strong people, weak (sometimes) people, people who want to change their lives for the better. Men, women, young, older, tall, short, fat, thin. People like you; people like me. Decent people. People who deserve a happier life.

Good luck OP!! ❤🙏❤

mikado1 · 10/07/2023 12:38

Oh well done OP 👏

Andante57 · 10/07/2023 12:38

People who deserve a happier life.

Yes and whose families deserve a happier life.

MostlyBlueberryFlavoured · 10/07/2023 12:50

Andante57 · 10/07/2023 12:38

People who deserve a happier life.

Yes and whose families deserve a happier life.

Definitely! 👍👍

BigFatLiar · 10/07/2023 13:02

startingover202 · 10/07/2023 11:03

I have contacted AA.
Someone will call me within 48 hours.

There is a meeting at 8 this evening. I'm so scared of going. I don't want to be that person.
What kind of people go to meetings?

The truly scary bit is the first time going through the door. I think once you've got over the initial shock of attending it'll be better.

Thestartofsomethinggood · 10/07/2023 17:28

Well done. I have also got stuck in the past. No more!

rockingbird · 10/07/2023 17:39

Best of luck! Great positive step forward.

lillybeal · 10/07/2023 19:33

Well done OP, such a courageous step to make. I am also an alcoholic, I tried ever possible way to stop but nothing worked. Thankfully I finally made my way into AA and I'm now sober many years. You can do it too

Colette · 10/07/2023 20:00

Hope it went well , good luck