Want to be pregnant but scared I've ruined it

[Lau8877]

Hi,
I'm 35 and have drank a bottle of wine, sometimes 2, for 3 years. I was recently on the pill but decided to stop it a few months ago.
I'm so scared I've ruined my body and it'll never happen for me.
My sister in law is a social worker and assures me there's women with worse issues who get pregnant and have healthy babies.

Have I ruined myself?

Have you stopped drinking now?

A bottle of wine a day? Week?

I don't mean to be harsh or sound judgemental (I'm not, I don't know your story), but if it's a day, and you're still drinking, then it would be very selfish to get pregnant now. You need to start by giving up alcohol completely (under medical advice/supervision) and addressing your addiction issues, before considering bringing a child into the world. A baby is a wonderful thing - but they are stressful, exhausting, demanding and completely reliant on you for their wellbeing and survival, which requires you to be utterly selfless. I'm sorry, but an alcohol dependent mother cannot provide what a child needs. In addition, drinking whilst pregnant can cause innumerable issues, including fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, which is a condition which can impact a child's whole life. My adopted cousin was born with the condition and his whole life has been, and continues to be significantly affected by it.

I can't comment on what you've done to your body and the impact it may have had on your fertility - I simply don't know - but this website suggests that it can have quite a significant effect, although it doesn't make it clear whether quitting will reverse this.

Potentially not. I’m 38 currently trying to get my 8 month old back to sleep. I used to drink close to a bottle a night. I got pregnant when I stopped drinking altogether so there is hope.

However get on top of your drinking habits now as FAS is a horrible burden for a baby/ child