I am done. Anyone fancy joining me?

[Rupertpenrysmistress]

So I have an alcohol problem. Have done for years, Christmas may not be the best time to stop but I have to. It's killing me and destroying my family. I will take today to make my plan. I already have all the quit books just need to do it now.

Any long term sober people have any tips for me? I guess at the moment it's hour by hour.

@JoNeedshelp - no judgement here. Honestly, if you read all my previous posts you would see that I’ve fallen off the wagon so many times. I’ve lost count of the number of day 1s I’ve had. But I really do believe a little bit more sticks every time. Even my GP and my addiction nurse said to me that very very few people with a problem succeed on stopping at the first attempt and most people take multiple attempts - so it’s not just you.

Can you go back and think about why you drank? Were there any specific triggers? If you were watching a loved one doing what you were doing, what would you say to them?

Please don’t give up and think that a blip means you might as well just keep on drinking. Get back on the horse and come for a canter with us 🐎 🐎!!

I fell off for the Strictly final. I got through a whole bottle of wine. It made everything fuzzy round the edges and the notes I scribbled got more scrawly and were full of rants like "FFS Tessa!" I haven't re-watched the dances and am a bit vague about what the show dances were like, although from what I can read of my notes I was quite impressed by both. No recollection whatsoever of the group dance with all the ex-competitors!

Yesterday I didn't feel too hung over, but I did have a sense of dread and shame that had nothing to do with feeling guilty about the drinks, because I didn't feel guilty. This is going to sound nuts, but the only way I can describe it is that booze is like being temporarily possessed by a darker energy than usual.

In terms of mood-altering substances, what works much better for me is a spritz of perfume. I've treated myself to a pack of Milton Lloyd Essentials and they are so bright and cheerful. (And cheap! Much cheaper than buying wine!)

@Alcemeg* I fell off on Wednesday to but I have not had a drink since and feel pretty good. One day at a time.

Glad to see how well everyone is progressing it's really motivating. @Stuck cookies went surprisingly well, I also made some sausage rolls as I seem to prefer savory at the moment.

My DH has treated me to some sweaty Betty running gear so I hope this will help motivate me. I feel very lazy at the moment. Can't believe Christmas is only 4 days away.

Hello, i would like to join if I may.

I am on day 3. i have had so many attempts to stop for good. I am desperate that this is it. I hate what i have become. 3 stone overweight, tired, sluggish and bloated. Like everyone I have stresses in my life and simply do not handle them at all well when drinking.

Today I managed to motivate myself to write christmas cards (and even send them) and do some prep for Christmas. I also read Chapter 2 of a bedtime story i am reading the DCs. bedtime stories is always one of the hit or miss thing for me as I am exhausted in the evening.

I'd love some company. :)

Me, me! Jumps up and down and waves hands. I’m with you on the being exhausted but I suspect it’s mr alcohol tiring me out. I just can’t seem to crack it. Tonight I caved when Dp opened the prosecco.. and I’d nearly got through to dinner time. So cross with myself, this has been going on for years. I think I’m amazing if I have 1 booze free night at all. Let alone several. If I’m brutally honest with myself I too have put on weight, bloated face, no energy. No money because it all, or a lot of it, goes on booze. You guys are all super inspiring. Gonna go for it. Thanks for this thread

Welcome @iced and @feeling. You describe how most of us feel and we know why, it's just to damn easy to have a drink for that initial buzz, it's only worth it if you can stop at one or two, otherwise it leaves you feeling depressed, anxious and worn out. I am the heaviest I have been, none of my clothes fit. Christmas is hard and exhausting anyway without booze added in. I am only day 6 but already feel better.

Any way need to get to work. Have a great day everyone.

Thanks for the welcome. You have a great day too. :)

Excited for you all, 2022 will be your year!
The feeling is amazing. There is so much help snd support out there, find it!

@Rupertpenrysmistress glad to see you're here and determined! You got this!

Welcome to @IcedAbstinente and @Feelingoood

Well done for realising, it's one of the hardest parts. I had (have) issues with alcohol addiction, started about 4 years ago, at this time of year. Kicked it, found out I was pregnant, didn't drink then. Once my kids abusive dad left me, I've struggled ever since. Not in the same sense I guess, I don't wake up wanting it at 9am anymore, but I've noticed I'm slowly but surely slipping from one glass one night a week to a reasonable amount more. Think I will join you.

Hiya. Checking in. I did 50 days TAE with Annie Grace and felt great, empowered and positive. Then I thought I’d test out my limits so I had a couple of glasses of wine a couple of weeks ago, then a couple of gin and tonics, then a couple of glasses of fizz..over 2 weeks. Emotional low ebb tonight, peri menopausal and low self esteem combination..downed a whole bottle of wine..didn’t even touch the sides…argued with DH about our limping marriage..fell asleep on couch..feel like shit, look like shit. 😭😭 Here we are again. I’m so sad I can’t moderate, SoberDave on Instagram calls it grieving for alcohol…feel so fucking sad…😞

@TicketyBoo11 but you did it before, so you know you can do it! You just learned that "testing your limits" isn't a great idea.

The thing about alcohol is that it removes all inclination to moderate intake. Other drugs are less cruel. Don't blame yourself.

Thanks…I know what I have to do. There’s a saying in cricket when wicket taking “1 brings 2”, take one wicket and another is sure to follow…well I have adapted that for my glass of wine intake.”1 brings 6”.. it is ridiculous to be jealous of people who can just enjoy that one glass..🙄

I'm enjoying sober Christmas
I do have a cold and today I realised that if I was drinking I'd have felt like this all day even without the cold so why would I want to inflict feeling ill on myself just for a brief period of an overrated high
Also managed to clean up the kitchen and read to the kids at bedtime
Thinking of you all

Well done those of you sober.

This is my first entirely sober Xmas for... well, a long time! DH has joined me too, which was an unexpected surprise. He made a fabulous lemon drizzle cake today. We've decided cake is the new alcohol!

Being off work always takes time to adjust to, but I've enjoyed having more energy to make the most of it.

Happy Xmas everyone!

Good news alcameg

Just dropping on here to wish you all the best with your alcohol free journeys. I've been sober since 1st March 2021 and its been life changing for me. I've done a previous stint of 1 year sober, then went back trying to moderate, which I personally found harder than not drinking at all.

A few benefits I've had to help inspire you!

• No anxiety any more, having previously suffered from feeling awful most of the time
• I sleep so much better, no headaches in the morning, actually feel rested each day
• TIME! Drinking in the evening sucks so much time, since going sober I've read 40 books and have time to go to the gym/dance class.
• No more bloated feeling and have lost 1/2 stone. Eating more healthy/time for the gym obviously helped here too.

I used to drink at least 3 bottles of wine a week and permanently felt fed up and awful. It was hard to get started but once I did, it does get easier. Take each day at a time; I initially decided to do 30 days, then went to 90 as you feel more benefits if you go a bit longer. Quit lit books like - The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober is great, I noticed it was 99p on Kindle the other day.

Glad everyone is doing well still. I was unwell over Xmas so didn't feel like drinking anyway, I found this rather helpful as I was worried about the temptation to drink. Back to work tomorrow and am looking forward to going in without feeling drained and lethargic.

Working new year so that is taken care of, my parents came around boxing day and I threw away the remaining alcohol they left.
I have been watching daily videos from Kate's sober school (I think that's right) and also start TAE on 29/12.

I really must do it this time, I feel like I have had time back, anxiety is reducing, sleep is awful but I know that improves and I just feel energised.

It is great to read everyone's updates. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. We can do this.

Thank you @yoshiblue for checking in. Well done on your sober journey and thanks for the inspiration!

Hi all, I was on a few of your threads a year and a half ago (rupert ) still sober here.

I cant tell you how pleased I am. It was tortuous giving up (was in a&e i was so bad) but best thing i ever did. Stick with it. I know I can never drink again but in the beginning I did say 'oh one day I will'. It seemed to help getting through a day. What went from constantly wanting to drink is now a rarity.

Sleep is fantastic. I wake up completely fresh now. No more depression (just the usual stress of life). Lost weight. Better form with the kids. I feel so healthy. I'm not worrying about a twinge that could mean serious illness. I feel I gave control over my life.

I do pick and choose though who and where I go out too. No way could I go to my work Xmas do. I choose good friends to go for dinner with who are fun and I know ill have a great night. The scary thing is I (not in a judgy way) observed whst pals drink and its barely anything. I never noticed before. Too busy knocking them back, god so embarrassing that I was probably the one hiking up the wine bill. That made me feel great that I know I can't stop, they can so my decision is the correct one.

Oh and take vitamins for the first while. I don't need them now.

Keep strong

Can I join you? Day1 here. I drink far too much - and far too secretly. It is making me fat, jowley, unhealthy and seems to be stripping me of any motivation whatsoever.

I have such a lovely life - plenty of money, lovely home, great kids, wonderful dh (who has never had alcohol), friends etc. And yet I anaesthetize myself every evening. Dh said to me it is like there are two of me - the lovely woman everyone likes in the morning and then late at night the angry one slurring her words. I hate it - and am terrified of what I might have done to my body.

So giving it a shot and hoping this thread will help. All of the posts were helpful to read but especially @brightspice comments about the habit and habit breaking really resonated.

I can recommend The Alcohol Experiment. Download the App and try and do just the 30 days. No fee. You get a video every day on the social and scientific reasons why we drink, it’s brilliant. I did 51 days then moderated (which I initially had a blip with then feel I succeeded at) I stopped secret drinking and drinking at 5pm whilst making tea. I have done all my non alcoholic alternatives research and know what I like..I’m strict and only go for zero. Oh and zero wine is awful…I am starting again on 1st January. Good Luck. I’ll be back to check in.

orchidaceae hi and congratulations on your sobriety. Thanks for your advice I do have the vitamins and am really determined this time. I love reading about the benefits of being alcohol free. It's sad really I have quit for months before and felt amazing I want that back. My DH and DC deserve this. I have downloaded the 30 days app and am on day 3 as well as another online course. I am listening to Craig Beck and it's brilliant. Have a great day everyone 😊.

I'm in. Stopped on 28th, had a ridiculously boozy wedding on 30th and didn't drink despite the pressure.
I've tried before but slipped back. At 56 I really need to succeed this time.
I'm working through the book the 30 day sobriety solution and it's good.
Hope everyone had a dry new year's eve