I am done. Anyone fancy joining me?

[Rupertpenrysmistress]

So I have an alcohol problem. Have done for years, Christmas may not be the best time to stop but I have to. It's killing me and destroying my family. I will take today to make my plan. I already have all the quit books just need to do it now.

Any long term sober people have any tips for me? I guess at the moment it's hour by hour.

@1Step2Step

I guess it’s wanting that feeling of relaxation I get from my first (or second) glass. I am/was a habitual drinker but never to the point of being drunk. I’d tend to stop after 1/2-3/4 of a bottle of wine and it would take me a while to get through that during the afternoon and evening. I would drink every day and anticipate that buzz from my drinks.

I’m not sure if I should treat wine as something to try and avoid at all costs and try to stay teetotal or as something akin to chocolate where I need to make sure I only imbibe once a week and set an allowance. I definitely don’t want to be drinking everyday , it didn’t make me feel good.

Personally, I think tee total might be a bit much - for me anyway.

At the moment we are not drinking Sunday - Thursday, but we ARE having wine on Friday and Saturday. The first few glasses are great, then it gets a bit fuzzy and I don't remember going to bed. The next day, I see that we have had 4/5 bottles between us and feel like crap.

So, I can totally see a time that we just cut the weekends back a bit too - but we are not there yet. Tbh, cutting back as we have done is nothing short of a miracle, as we have been drinking non stop for over 10 years. Something snapped - a now or never moment, if you will. My DH started a new job where he has to be even sharper than normal, so we said, right, the time has to be now.

Thinking "wine gives me a feeling of relaxation" is going to trigger your desire for it. And that's OK if you're happy with the result (taking a drink). If you're not, ask what you'd have to think instead in order to relax, but just not through wine.

So I had two glasses of red wine last night - first time since New Years Eve. I had a bottle open for cooking. Feel really rough today (migraine during the night, crook gut, tired etc. Red wine definitely doesn’t agree with me. I think I’m going to have to give up wine and try to just have the occasional drink. I want to have a healthy relationship with food and alcohol. That probably involves not going teetotal but not drinking every day either. Maybe once a week or fortnight and only 1-2drinks.

I miss drinking at the weekend. It all feels a bit flat. I'm holding on but think I'm vulnerable to starting again. I need to inject some excitement into the weekend

@rumred you say that weekends seem a bit flat. Why is that a problem?

@brightspice I think I'm just very used to using alcohol to pass the time. So when the weather's crap and I can't do loads I get a bit bored and fed up. I'm happiest when productive.

I'll do some writing and have a think about it some more

Guys! I've just made it to two months alcohol free! I'm starting to wonder how I had time for drinking as I haven't picked up any new hobbies or anything, but seem to have very little time. I've heard everyone realises how much time they have when they stop drinking!

Also, I'm still thinking about it almost daily, I would say. And still have moments when I want it (despite knowing it's a poison, it brought lots of negativity etc.). When will that stop?! I've done well to get this far, but think I'm still working on willpower, which won't last forever.

@excitedemmi that's really great news.

You're right - willpower won't last forever. What are you feeling when you want a drink? Finding that emotion - the one you want to escape from and drink over - will help you achieve permanent change without relying on willpower.

Thanks @brightspice . I think I just associate it with "fun" and "relaxing", but the strongest feelings have come so far when I'm already having fun and relaxing! I.e. when I've been hanging out with family. So, I'm hoping maybe it's just an association thing and time will help with that. Got to get used to my new normal of enjoying myself without alcohol.

Hi everyone. Glad to see so much progress you are all amazing. I am sober 6 weeks. Reading through the posts we all experience similar thoughts and processes.

It seems we drink out of habit/to dampen feelings/to get that buzz/because we feel pressure.

Some people can moderate and some can't. I cannot so am aiming to stay sober. Looking back at my previous attempts I can see I was just using will power and counting the days. I don't do this anymore I have restructured my evenings to avoid the witching hour. I have alternative things to do to keep my mind active. If I start craving I just power through as it only lasts minutes. Strangely the last few nights I have dreamt about drinking, it was quite scary.

I still listen to quit lit and am so great full to wake up every day without a hangover. That said I am fed up with this cold weather.