"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

Ahh sorry, someone else upthread asked me for the recipe for the ginger wine. But I asked my friend and she sideswept with style. I think its her secret recipe and her thing that she gives every Christmas to all. I am kind of glad its kept like that as I always look forward to it every year.
The gin is from tesco. I'll get the name later. It has cassia bark in it. It wasnt so nice on its own but mixed with the ginger wine it was so good.

I think the last title was perfect DryBird

Well done on all the dry fun Christmas days. I was really present yesterday, remembered everything and not regretting anything today. Well done everyone, what an amazing achievement.

Two more days to go till I have had a Dry year!

Feel amazing for it. Have taken up outdoor swimming, go every day and it’s amazing how much more time I have!

Went to bed at 9 last night, tired out, slept like a log and feel great today. Hope you are all feeling similarly pleased with yourselves!

galoopnorth a whole year is fantastic. Well done!!

I'm so relieved reading the Xmas hangover thread rn. I'm not being judgey but someone mentioned having no memory of Xmas dinner and passing out by 7pm. I remember doing that and the associated horrors the next day. Time was, I too would have told that like it was a funny story but I'm so glad I'm hangover free and not hating myself today!

Yes!! I just read some of that too. It felt so good not to be feeling that shit right now. Absolutely no judgement here, some of my stories would make toes curl. Just a good reminder of why I am doing what I'm doing now

some of my stories would make toes curl

Ooof. Me too. Everytime a well meaning friend brings out the "you're not that bad!" line I wheel out some of the greatest hits and they go pale.

MN really is a strange place with regards to alcohol though. On one thread right now a hungover DH is being called alcoholic and they are saying she should LTB and on another the exact same story is being received as if it's funny.

According to MN anyone with a drinking problem:

• should go to their GP (no need, can self refer to CD&A service and that's what GP will say)
• needs to "deal with the root cause of their drinking" (I mean... fucking obviously but people say this like it's as easy as popping to the shops)
• lie, lie and lie again. About everything and you can literally never believe anything they say.
• should be entirely tolerant of others drinking around them/having booze in the house even very early into their recovery because it's their problem
• reach "rock bottom" (which is pop psychology bollocks anyway - early intervention is key and anyway plenty of people don't have a "rock bottom" moment they just wake up one day and say "I'm done")
• never ever relapse even slightly or they don't count as being in recovery

Oh and their partner should always leave them.

The orange gin type stuff us called Everleaf Forest.

Not been here for ages but want to say hi and wish you all a very Happy Christmas. I hope you're all navigating a sober Christmas without too many struggles. I had a huge wobble last week when a close friend invited me out on the proviso that I have a drink ("we had a chat and we think you should have at least one"). So basically "we don't like you when you're not drinking." I was really hurt and thought maybe I am boring and I could just have one to loosen me up and be the old me again. But then I decided I just don't want to and I don't have to justify that to anyone. I really enjoyed Christmas day and didn't miss alcohol at all. And waking up feeling fresh on Boxing Day was lovely. We won't talk about the smokes .

Merry Christmas everyone

Totally understand your friend breathmiller - I’ll find one and experiment! Everleaf Forest, thank you. Albeit if it’s not nice without the ginger wine...

drybird I know I’m new here but I think it’s important to keep the bit about already being AF before joining the new thread.

@Breathmiller inspired by you, I'm going to try https://m.recipes.timesofindia.com/beverage/non-alcoholic/ginger-wine/amprecipeshow/54808558.cms?ampp_js_v=0.1&usqp=mq331AQHKAFQArABIA%3D%3D this recipe for ginger wine in the new year

@Drybird2020 just thinking over the opening blurb for the new thread and I do agree with @StayingVigilant about people being AF when they join the thread (I believe their are other threads for those wishing to moderate).

I think the opening blurbs are always very good and wouldn’t change anything necessarily. It might be worth pointing out that we’re a nice mixture of newbies and old hands, to that lurkers aren’t put off thinking we’re a clique of expert non drinkers😅

I expect some new people will be joining us in the next week, I hope they are encouraged by our positive AF Christmas experiences☺️

Drybird2020 you put it perfectly I am having to re-learn Christmas
So many happy AF people. So thrilled to have had a AF Christmas myself. Well done to all.

I also think the opening blurb should stay the same. The idea of having started even if it was day 1 and making a commitment to it being forever (even forever at one day at a time) was really good for me. It was like setting an intention.
Maybe the title could have something about #reclaimingthewineglass or filling toolboxes. Or reclaiming ourselves. There was a great chat earlier on in the thread about being more ourselves- and a running theme lately has been being more present. It has had so many positive helpful hints on how good it feels to be alcohol free.

I agree about the blurb too. In the early days I found it quite unsettling to read posts from people trying to moderate because I'd start thinking maybe I should try that too. I think the mind set is different when you're planning on completely stopping.

The opening blurb reassured me that this was the right place to be, moderating never worked for me. I like the comments upthread about re-learning Christmas. This thread is helping me to re-learn life without alcohol, which is turning out so much richer than I could have imagined. Also, I love the current title. Both reassuring and incredibly positive. Thank you @Drybird2020

Morning all!
Has anyone done ‘The Alcohol Experiment’ live 30 day thing. It’s by Annie Grace. I’m on chapter 9 of her book ‘The Naked Mind’ and it’s ok, no revelations as yet. So I’m not sure if the live thing will be more of the same or if it’s really worthwhile. I’m also not sure if it’s aimed at dry January people given it starts on 1st, who will have a different mentality to a ‘forever’. If anyone has experience of it I’ll be keen to hear please.

Hello everyone! I joined this thread when it originally started (I was HouseTornado) but jumped off after a couple of months as couldn't keep up (was finishing my PhD so trying to focus on less social media!).

ANYWAY! I am one year alcohol free today - and it looks like lots of others are too, so congratulations!

I kept meaning to stick my head back in and see how everyone was doing, but covid/homeschooling/work took over...

Stopping drinking has been transformative for me. I'm fitter, slimmer, calmer, clearer, better rested and....free. When the first lockdown happened I was relieved to not be drinking, I think it would've been catastrophic if I had been.

So here's to another year feeling free, and well done everyone, wherever you are on your journey. And thank you to @Drybird2020 for the original motivation, inspiration and hand holding.

50footwave
CONGRATULATIONS on your one year soberversary!!so good to hear how good it has made you feel. It really is inspiring.

Congratulations 50FootWave!
I like what you've said here: I'm fitter, slimmer, calmer, clearer, better rested and....free
I might not be totally fitter or slimmer yet (though aiming for healthier at least!) but the rest totally resonates with me, and in addition to what others have said about being more present, and just, themselves again.
Maybe food for thought for blurb for new thread?

Congratulations, 50footwave, that is brilliant!

Congrats @50FootWave🏆🏆🏆

Thank you everyone - I don't talk about it in real life, this year has been challenging enough for people without me banging on about not drinking, so your kind words mean so much, because you all get it.

I thought I was hard wired to be a drinker. Turns out things can change, after all.

Without question the support from this thread in the early months was crucial - I can recommend how valuable the support of others was.

I'll try and stick around here for a while to pay that support back if I can!

Hurrah! Well done 50FootWave

That’s amazing @50FootWave. 🙌🏻🙌🏻

I managed to steer clear of alcohol over Christmas, but I felt a bit weird around my brother. We used to drink a lot together in the past. He was drinking with my husband, and I felt a bit strange and left out. He didn’t stay for as long as he usually would. I thought it was because I wasn’t drinking, but DH said he looked absolutely shattered. To be fair he had been drinking before I picked him up. I’m just a bit worried I’m not as fun as I used to be. Although I don’t want to start drinking again to fit in. I’m just hoping the longer this goes on I will get used to this different way of socialising.

Thank you @Hangingover 🌞

@Thermalpants I really get this. Our identities as drinkers are intrinsically linked to others. If it helps, I had to switch my thinking - this wasn't about what others wanted me to be/do. It what was something I wanted.

It's not easy, especially if (like me) you hid behind drinking to be more outgoing. Once I realised no one needed me to be outgoing, I got more comfortable being myself.

Well done on sticking with it, that's a huge deal.