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"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

989 replies

Drybird2020 · 06/10/2020 21:13

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

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Teetotallyimperfect · 27/12/2020 14:11

Congratulations @50footWave Grin
Well done on your first sober year. Transformative is a good word...I would say it has been transformative for me too. I barely recognise myself this Christmas compared to last year. Thanks for coming back to post...love hearing from people who are ahead of the game.

Hangingover · 27/12/2020 14:39

God I hope when I reach a year it's a bit easier Sad I'm seven months on the 30th

Horlicks4me · 27/12/2020 14:40

@50footWave a huge congratulations.
@Thermalpants I feel the same too. Going to the pub for the first time will be my biggest test as I'm generally very quiet until I'm on my second large glass of wine! Meeting my friends for lunch won't be too bad because of the time of day but going with my husband and socialising with others is not so easy as I'm a 'stay at home/quiet' type of person but I know he loves to go to the pub a couple of times a week (we both usually work part time). This subject is addressed by Beck in Alcohol Lied To Me. If the difference is staying sober or not I will stay determined!

Thermalpants · 27/12/2020 15:16

I don’t think it helped that I felt tired after cooking dinner. It all added to the strange feelings I had. I definitely felt my age! I haven’t really had chance to test out my new teetotal lifestyle since the arrival of Covid. I feel the need to push the boundaries now. I’m very comfortable at home with my husband and kids. Hopefully the more I experience social situations without alcohol it will soon feel more comfortable. I think perhaps I was overthinking the situation when my brother came over.
I will have a look at that book, thanks @Horlicks4me.

StayingVigilant · 27/12/2020 15:31

A year is incredible 50footwave as is 8 months hangingover. There’s some serious durations here. Huge well done!! I can’t wait to be able to say that.
Baby steps for me as just Day 10 today.
Yesterday was ok. Today will be fine too. Xmas day was hard as there’s a lot of tradition/rituals around booze. Starting with fizz first thing along with pressie opening & onto 2nd/3rd bottle by 10/11. Then a walk and mulled wine; then red with xmas lunch; more & more! Then a few stickies. DH and his friend did exactly that so it was hard to abstain!
There’s no more rituals now; not even for NYE, so it won’t be so bad. Albeit Ive got some gorgeous sounding gins & liqueurs in our booze cupboard. I bought them only a few days prior to going AF as treats. Funny how I considered them treats and how they still sound a tadge appealing. To avoid temptation I’m going to move all the unopened ones somewhere else and use them as presents. The rest can stay for guests and DH. I need to have a plan as we’ve an obscene amount of alcohol in the house!

Breathmiller · 27/12/2020 16:36

10 days is great stayingvigilant especially when Christmas was right at the beginning for you. I think if you can get through Christmas dry within the first week or two then you can do it anytime. Well done!

50FootWave · 27/12/2020 16:53

Thank you, @Teetotallyimperfect - and well done to you, too. I feel exactly the same about my own sense of self - that part of me has gone for good - and it's a relief. I hope you are in a better place for stopping.

@Hangingover wow, 7 months is fantastic, and it does get easier, I promise! Just keep cutting yourself some slack - drinking is so socially acceptable, it is almost impossible to avoid - so to have made it to 7 months is no small thing. What is your motivation for staying drink free (I had about a million, some mundane, some shameful, some purely based on vanity!).

@Horlicks4me I am also an introvert and painfully shy. Drinking masked that, I thought it was helping me socially. Then I realised I could just be...shy and quiet at social events. No one cared!!!!

I also drank a lot of alcohol free beer, though for some that's not what they want, but for me it was a life line.

@Thermalpants you can do it, you really can. This is a really hard time of year at the best of times, yet alone during covid.

@StayingVigilant you are so right, the rituals and traditions are ramped up at Christmas, but if you can do it at this time, you can do it at the next thing. You are now in double figures! Moving the temptation is a good plan - staying one step ahead works for me, too, much easier to do on a good night's sleep/clear head.

Actually, it was improved sleep that became the deal breaker for me. I wouldn't trade that for anything now!

Drybird2020 · 27/12/2020 17:25

@50FootWave hello and congratulations! I was wondering how you got on this year. Did you finish writing up?

@StayingVigilant I did the 30 day alcohol experiment when I was building up to quitting permanently, the content is similar to This Naked Mind but it also has a forum and daily videos to watch/reflections to do so its more active. Might be worth a look alongside chatting on here - and it's free.

Thanks for the ideas about the new thread - I'll get on it now.

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Thermalpants · 27/12/2020 17:35

Thanks @50FootWave 🙂

50FootWave · 27/12/2020 17:46

@Drybird2020 hello hello!!! I'm so happy to see you make it to a year, too - congratulations!

I am just at the fine tuning stage, due to submit in a couple of weeks. I was v luckily given an extension due to the home schooling situation - but I'm almost over the line!

Thank you for asking. And thank you for this thread. Without your support in those early months, I would've cracked during lockdown.

Are you well?

Drybird2020 · 27/12/2020 18:07

I am so well, better than ever! God I'm so glad I quit before lockdown...

That's brilliant news about the PhD, what an ordeal that must have been with home schooling in the mix...did you have to do it when everyone was asleep?!

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Drybird2020 · 27/12/2020 18:08

Here is the new thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4117520-Leave-alcohol-behind-and-re-learn-your-life-The-freedom-thread?watched=1

See you all over there! And any lurkers who might feel like revealing themselves...

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OhDearShirley · 27/12/2020 18:18

I've dipped in and out of these threads over the past couple of years, they've been very helpful,
Just checked the app and I'm on day 980 AF.
It really does get easier and it really is worth it!

50FootWave · 27/12/2020 19:06

Hard same, @Drybird2020. When lock down came in March not worrying about drinking was a massive relief!

The PhD plus homeschooling was a challenge, but little by little we got there. A lot of late nights and a lot of crying!

Thank you for the new thread, I'll pop and say hello.

Amazing, @OhDearShirley! That's a seriously fantastic achievement. 🎉

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