"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

Merry Christmas to you all Nosecco Bucks Fizz has been an amazing find this morning- I’ve sipped away at it and not missed alcohol at all. Only problem is husband decided he liked it too and switched from the alcohol version to sharing mine! Very supportive 🤣

Well done on the run 100, sending hugs hanging, enjoy your walk blackberry.

Sending you all sober vibes x

Hey Team, Hope you’re all hanging in there!

With a bunch of small kids it’s chaos in my house but in a really, really lovely way. I’ve actually just observed that for the first time in years I’m feeling relaxed on Christmas Day. It feels very unusual!

To those struggling, it is just one day, tomorrow will be a new day again🙂

YES @BunniesBunniesBunnies, same here! I was horribly stressed last Christmas, and also drunk/hungover every day. This year I'm alcohol free and not at all stressed...go figure!!

Hope everyone is doing OK. Happy Christmas 🤶

Hi all & merry Christmas. I’m new here. Have only read up to page 6 of this thread. And snippets of the last few pages. Have read first few pages of ‘This Naked Mind’. Have been AF since Wed 17th Dec so on 8th day. But I’m struggling today! Like really struggling! So much so, I’ve left the kitchen for a minute to have a cry. Albeit coming on here is already making me feel better.
My DH has a friend staying with us for Xmas (he’s single so joined our bubble). They’re now on their 3rd bottle of Moët. Not Prosecco but moet! I really do feel like I’m missing out. I’m not having any. I will not give in. But I do feel deprived. Like I’m making a sacrifice.
I’m in the process of making faux fizz from the mocktails list someone posted earlier. The kids will share it with me and it’ll all be fine. I won’t give in but willpower alone is hard!
I just needed somewhere to vent!

Same here @Drybird2020!!!

Though it might also be that we are here without extended family... So I don’t have to feel the grandparents judgement at the children “misbehaving” (ie being children). My youngest only at 8 pigs in blankets and my eldest told inappropriate jokes at the table, my parents would have gasped but I did not care!!!😂😂😂

Hi everyone. Welcome @StayingVigilant I'm Day 21 today and finding today TOUGH. Went for and early walk with DSS and DSD with DGS. I was handed a mug of mulled wine and the smell suggested it was very alcoholic. I put it to my lips several times and then chucked it when nobody was looking. My DH noticed but just smiled as we had a conversation last night about how serious I was about being AF. I'm hoping that has been my biggest temptation for the day. BUT I will not give in as I can then say I've had my first sober Xmas for donkeys years. Also looking forward to soon saying I have been sober for a MONTH. That sure is a good feeling. Hope everyone is having a good day and as someone else pointed out it is just ONE day and another Sunday Roast.

@StayingVigilant

Hi all & merry Christmas. I’m new here. Have only read up to page 6 of this thread. And snippets of the last few pages. Have read first few pages of ‘This Naked Mind’. Have been AF since Wed 17th Dec so on 8th day. But I’m struggling today! Like really struggling! So much so, I’ve left the kitchen for a minute to have a cry. Albeit coming on here is already making me feel better. My DH has a friend staying with us for Xmas (he’s single so joined our bubble). They’re now on their 3rd bottle of Moët. Not Prosecco but moet! I really do feel like I’m missing out. I’m not having any. I will not give in. But I do feel deprived. Like I’m making a sacrifice. I’m in the process of making faux fizz from the mocktails list someone posted earlier. The kids will share it with me and it’ll all be fine. I won’t give in but willpower alone is hard! I just needed somewhere to vent!

Hey! You're doing really good, it's quite something to maintain sobriety on day 8 with two people drinking in the house! No wonder you're feeling deprived.

But I have good news for you: that feeling of being deprived, it will pass over time.
Each time it will be a bit easier.

I'm on day 359 and yesterday, at Christmas dinner, there were beautiful wines (wine has always been my thing) in a carafe, for a second I looked at the carafe and felt like I was missing out. The next second, I was just fine and enjoyed my faux gin and tonic.

I remember my first party as a sober person, it wasn't easy, I felt awkward and not comfortable at all. And then the next one was better. And the next one...

Now it's just my new normal, there's no more awkwardness, no more feeling deprived and I actually really enjoy time with friends and the fun I'm having is way better than when I was drinking, because I'm more present, I don't have to refill every now and then, I remember everything and I wake up in great shape the next day!

There's a book that I really found useful, quite similar to the naked mind but a bit more in depth, it's called the Alcohol Explained by William Porter. Really digs into what's happening in our brain when we're drinking alcohol and why the enjoyment is actually nothing but an illusion.

You're doing great, you can be proud!

Hi @StayingVigilant [waves] That sounds hard. It won’t feel like so much of a sacrifice tomorrow morning though, when you are clearheaded and not at all hungover.

@Horlicks4me - Respect! I’m not sure I could have resisted a mulled wine in my hands. Congratulations on 21 days today!

@FastFood - congratulations on 359 days! That’s really reassuring to read about the wine - it was always me that chose the wine. I still do, but I don’t drink it and there’s always a bit of a pang when he pulls the cork out of a fresh bottle. I will look up the Alcohol Explained book, thank you.

Touch wood, I think I’m nearly there on my first ever dry Christmas Day. I have sampled pretty much every soft drink in the house today and started on the coffee an hour earlier than normal. I managed not to absent-mindedly pour champagne into my orange juice instead of lemonade. It is every bit as hard as I thought it would be, but it’s nearly done now.

Gosh, what a day. I’m in my pjs with a sheet mask on and a cup of peppermint tea.

Kids got us up at 4.15!! But I have had such a fantastic day with my two girls. It was strange at times and I felt I needed a glass of something but I just distracted myself by playing with the kids and poof, it was gone.

I loved my Xmas dinner too,which I don’t normally enjoy. I’m generally at least a bottle in by then so I’m not hungry at all and just want more booze rather than food. But my beef was delicious, can’t wait for bubble and squeak in a few days.

The main thought that has been keeping me going today is that we have another lovely day planned tomorrow. We’re going to open up the hogwarts express Lego set, watch Harry Potter and do crafts. What an amazing day. I’m normally feeling, crap, snappy, anxious and sick on Boxing Day so looking forward to a nice lie in and another fun day. Sending some positive vibes to all my sober buddies. Hope you have all managed to enjoy something today. Xxxx

Hello all and well done to everyone. I will be a year in in 29th December. Today’s been the hardest day since the start of this - I find Christmas horribly stressful and kept feeling like I needed something to take the edge off. Got through it though, ate a shedload of crap and chocolate but no alcohol. So glad.
Merry Christmas everyone 😁

Yeah to us!!! We made it. 👏🏻
Thank you for your supportive words blackberry, FastFood & Horlicks. When I returned to the kitchen I was absolutely fine and have been since my little rant on here. It’s been such a lovely day and didn’t feel deprived at all once I’d had my tantrum here.
I wouldn’t bother with the faff of making the faux fizz on bbcgoodfood though. I really need to find some yummy alternatives.
Going to bed now to finish off that first chapter.

I'm in my new PJs watching the Vicar of Dibley. We made it lads!

Just catching up here. I had a great day. I did not miss alcohol. I'm actually surprised how little I even thought about it. I never drank during the day as I just always felt crap by evening, but on xmas day I usually have a gin and tonic in my mother's but we had coffee and mince pies, no one drank. Had my Dad for dinner (20 years sober) and DH & my mother enjoyed some wine. I had fake wine that was lovely, I found myself swigging out of it like it was real when the kids were sending new Lego flying...

Love all the posts. Well done. I've a pain in my neck this year with social media a bit too and left face book shortly after leaving wine and didn't miss it either tbh. Didn't look at Instagram much either. Feel like it's all connected in this growth around chowing what serves me in this life time.

Fast-food I'm so glad you posted as I mentioned here before a post of yours resonated for me so much I saved it, on the positives of not drinking. I didn't drink tons but enough for it to bother me and I feel like your posts might be the future me. I hope so.

This thread is such a great landing zone at the end of the day, so many of us feeling the positives of the change. At our meal today we did our annual round the table speeches (or two lines!) on what we all were most grateful for this year. I said health and work life balance but secretly included 53 days AF added to 3 months earlier this year plus lots of private growth work that I feel has helped me like myself more and live in my skin more comfortably, less about being liked, pleasing people, more about really getting to know myself, bit of a life audit. Anyway, I am rambling here. I'll sign off. Merry Christmas fellow seekers!

Sounds like everyone has had a wonderful sober Christmas, we made it! Happy Christmas everyone.

I think it’s safe to say I’ve had the best Christmas in a long time, good sleep, no hangover, really enjoyed watching the kids enjoy their presents and all the excitement. I wasn’t thinking two steps ahead to hurrying up and cracking open the wine, there was no rush. We had our Christmas meal for dinner this year which allowed me to cook in a relaxed way through the afternoon whilst the kids played, I didn’t get stressed cooking like I normally do and the food was just as nice as always if not better! I enjoyed eating it which as someone mentioned upthread I normally don’t care for when I’m a bottle down.

Then after the kids went to bed I had a whole glorious evening to myself, I chatted on the phone with family, we watched the Wolf of Wall Street! I watched a three hour movie on Christmas Day and paid attention and enjoyed it! Previously I was so stuffed with wine that I’d be off up to bed not long after the kids were down, maybe around 8pm and then I’d still be awake half the night. Drinking really does rob you of so much time.

Excited for a lovely sober Boxing Day tomorrow, we’ve got a walk planned. Well done everyone, we did it!

I can’t quite believe I made it through yesterday

To be honest, I’d already mentally laid the groundwork to have a glass of wine with my dinner if I wanted it. Christmas has always been a boozy affair in my family, expensive wines, champagne etc, and husband went ahead and bought some really good stuff. I thought I’d feel deprived.

But I had my nosecco Bucks Fizz in the morning/afternoon which was lovely and felt very festive, and meant that I wasn’t half cut cooking dinner, so I wasn’t at all stressed. By the time the husband cracked open the wine I wasn’t even bothered, I preferred to have my AF red instead! Cheese tasted great without needing port, Christmas pud tasted lovely without sticky wine.

It’s amazing. And I feel brand new this morning I haven’t felt this smug since I got my first 30 days under my belt!

Fair play to all of you who are quite newly alcohol free and who managed a dry Christmas- bloody well done, that’s a huge achievement.

Day 20! With a sober Christmas! Like SophocIestheFox I had kind of given myself permission for a glass of something in the evening even though deep down I really didn't want to drink, and by the time the evening rolled round I just had an Aldi night time tea and went to bed. Woken up feeling amazing for the first time in over a decade (with the exception of one pregnancy). Christmas was just perfect. The dinner was stress free and everything was remembered, I actually enjoyed the 5.30 wake up to open stockings and we played a lot, which is something I'd normally be too busy drinking to do.

WELL DONE everyone! I know I couldn't have done it without this thread, so thank you all for being a little bit of accountability and somewhere to read and vent on my phone. Happy Boxing Day 😀

Ah well done people, it’s so nice to read some of these stories! And well done for getting through @Hangingover💪

I had a great day yesterday but unfortunately I feel rough as hell today after a really bad night sleep (overexcited small people). Oh my god. I may as well be hungover😂😂😂 Well, I guess you can’t have it all...😴😴😴

I think I should join you all. The never drinking again feels like a difficult idea. But there really is no reason to want alcohol, is there?

WELL DONE EVERYONE!!
Still in bed this morning (hangover free of course) reading about all your fantastic achievements yesterday.

drybird20 I love what you said about just creating new Christmas habits. That rang true for me. I could also keep all the other lovely rituals too though so it still felt like Christmas.

Particularly well done to those who are a few days/weeks in, that takes some work to stay dry yesterday.

I had the most amazing day yesterday after the most amazingly shit year. AND I DID IT DRY!!

I had nosecco with fentimans pink lemonade in it most of the day. And my biggest achievement yet - there was a bottle of red on the table!! I did have a couple of moments where I really missed the fact I couldn't have a glass but they passed. And if wine was mentioned I just laughed and said "la la la - wine doesn't exist"

I ended the evening with a lovely liquer glass of my friends AF ginger wine with an AF orange gin type thing in it with rosemary crackers and the most beautiful vegan blue cheese from an artisan vegan shop near my daughters . It was perfect!

(Oh and for my fellow vegans, my daughter made me vegan almond croissants for breakfast - OH MY GOD! A dream come true. I am also gluten intolerant so they were GF and turned a bit cannoli like- even better! ) i haven't had almond croissants for over a decade.

I've also realised that with my 4 and a half months I have done this round and dry January into February at the beginning of the year that I have spent half this year dry! Go me!

And go all you bloody marvellous lot!

"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not" - turned out to be truer than I thought it could be.

Happy hangover free boxing day to you all.

(I'm going to have coffee and almond croissant/cannoli in bed! )

Hurrah we did it. Hangover free Boxing Day WOW!

hangingover well done! You did it!! You should change your name to hangingoverfree

Ok I knew not drinking on Christmas Day would be a challenge, and it was, but I had no idea that I’d feel so happy and proud waking up fresh on Boxing Day. Definitely worth it. That feeling is going in my toolbox.

It is great to read all of your posts, well done to everyone. Now we get to do it all again for Boxing Day, but hopefully with more sleep and less cooking. Sorry @BunniesBunniesBunnies - hope the small excited ones give you a better night tonight!

Hello @OhioOhioOhio - it does feel like a difficult idea to me too. But I can cope with not drinking a day/evening/event at a time. Today I know that I can have a dry Christmas Day and it can still be great.

I am excited for @Breathmillerand slightly jealous (in a nice way) of coffee and almond croissants in bed! Enjoy

Not sure what my plans are for today - a Christmas board game or two I expect and hopefully a walk if the rain holds off. I am meant to be dieting but that has been suspended for a couples of days as I couldn’t face having to count the calories in the steady flow of soft drinks. Sugar trumps alcohol.

Welcome @OhioOhioOhio. Just take it one day at a time! I don’t like the idea of forever but the longer I’m sober for (8 months now), the more I see the benefits and the more I think it will be forever🙂

Morning all. I’m so impressed with us all. Feel super proud!! I’m also out for a dog walk with family today & no doubt more board games. Ordering a curry take away tonight and I’ll have an AF Becks with that. Boxing Day isn’t traditionally heavy drinking so the other 2 adults in the house will be relatively abstained, I should think.
breathmiller your AF alternatives sound lovely. Would you mind sharing your ginger wine recipe as well as your AF Orange gin please? Both sound lovely. The faux fizz really wasn’t worth making yesterday but I suppose it killed half an hour and took my mind of the Moët DH and friend were drinking.
Enjoy Boxing Day everyone!

Everyone, we need a new thread soon!

This one has been on fire in the run up to Christmas, which is brilliant, especially with new starters joining in. After all, the best time to go alcohol free is whenever you are ready to do it. 😊

I think the build up to January and regrets after a boozy Xmas will send more in this direction.

Any ideas for a title and what you do/don't think should go into he introductory post?