"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

Thank you @Cartooner , that is so useful!

Thank you also to whoever it was that mentioned the Edit podcast, I’m finding it really helpful. So even though I can’t remember who mentioned it, thank you.

Sorry for not tagging everyone and replying individually- it is so busy here! Congratulations to everyone celebrating milestones of whatever size. 41 days here. I had my first trip to a pub and was completely unprepared, even though I was driving and wouldn’t have had alcohol anyway. It is getting easier.

I bought a bottle of Wilfred’s and am enjoying that- it’s lovely with ginger beer and a huge ice cube.

The thing that I am really enjoying is still the improved sleep, followed closely by the confidence boost. After years in glasses I have switched back to contacts, but these are rigid gas permeables and completely different to the soft ones that I had before. But it’s all ok, and it’s much less likely that I will fall asleep in the sofa with them in.

@Cartooner your words on grey area drinking rang true. I could see exactly which path I was on, even at relatively lower numbers of units, and it has felt so empowering to take control of that habit. I am getting that internal voice too, but am listening politely and then ignoring it. The changes are all little, but I wouldn’t want to lose any of them.

@heatseeker14 well done on 8 months and on your achievements over the year. I have every faith you'll get through your case without turning to alcohol, best of luck to you!

@Cartooner what a list! Thank you, going to bookmark that one.

Day 14 for me! It's not my longest stretch, but it's my longest stretch without the little 'oh maybe this weekend I'll have a drink' voice going on, and that is a very freeing feeling. By next Sunday I will have gone the longest I have without alcohol since being pregnant 5 years ago. I was having a little wobble about NY, but thankfully our plans have been cancelled (tier 4) and my DH told my MIL that I'm not drinking and that I'm doing very well with it.. so our Christmas plans with her no longer include alcohol.

On the whole I'm feeling pretty content, capable of suppressing urges (even when sniffing DHs whisky the other day) and very happy with the decision to not drink. I think my stress levels are slightly higher than usual, but so are my energy levels so that kind of balances it out, in my mind anyway.

I've bought a bullet journal and I'm going to get cracking with that soon. I've always been terrible at sticking with things, but I'm hoping that without alcohol and hangovers to distract me I will manage to stay motivated and keep it up. I'm excited to track the journey and have something to look back on.

I think I'm learning a lot about myself sober. I suppressed a shit load of negative things with booze, but I also suppressed a lot of the good things. Both are coming to the surface now and I'm gently working my way through that, and seeing where I need to improve.

@Wellysock well done!! I can relate to everything you say about suppressing the good and the bad, I have felt the exact same way.

I’m off to research bullet journalling I think I’m going to need some new distractions in the new year with all the covid misery around!!

Day 1 again for me.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Day 1 of Couch to 5k that is!

Day 133 of AF.

Go @Breathmiller go!!! Remember to SLOW RIGHT DOWN! You’ll be ace!

I felt I was barely moving on the last couple of runs. it wisnae a bonnie sight.

I live on a farm with a steep farm road back to the house and I used to time it so I didn't have to run uphill but I thought i would risk it. It was barely a snails crawl up that hill the last run. Made me laugh and very glad no one could see me.

We also got some good news today (my daughter who starts IVF in a few weeks, her partner got a negative test after staying in for days waiting). That fueled me on. We've been overdue some good news lately with one thing and another.

Thanks for encouraging me on to get out and run. It felt so good.

Any suggestions for running songs gratefully received.

Thank you @Wellysock. This year has been tough, but I’m determined to keep going. BTW I’ve name changed. Think you probably guessed that by now!

@Furble, thanks for the link to those mocktails. I now have to decide which one to try!

@Breathmiller, I just googled good running songs, and it came up with stuff like ‘Eye of the Tiger.’ 😂

Thermalpants ahh yes, that was on my you tube playlist i had before. Thanks for the reminder

Hello everyone. Day 3 for me. I did dry January, which wasn’t too hideous but I need to stop forever. Stopping over Xmas won’t be easy as we’ve a fridge full of booze and DH and his friend who is staying with us in our bubble will be drinking (lots) but it’s got to be done. I still need to read the whole thread but thought I’d introduce myself as I’m sure as heck going to need support!

@breathmiller Would your friend share the non-alcoholic ginger wine recipe with you and then you share here please? Sounds blooming gorgeous!

Morning everyone, here we are, sober, at the start of Christmas week.

@wellysock - how brave of you to be facing such difficult experiences from your past. 💐 Being alcohol free will give you more clarity and perspective. 8 months is terrific.
@kimlek, welcome. Any time you feel ready to start is a good time--and this way you get your first sober Christmas done and dusted!
@Cartooner thank you for the toolkit summary. I'm adding creative writing to mine, I'm going to get get up early and do some in the mornings. It will give me an escape as we lock down again from boxing day. And having a clear head and no hangover means I can enjoy early mornings.

@Breathmiller you'll soon be running up that hill like a mountain goat 🐐. Or Kate Bush.

@drybird2020 oh yes creative writing is in mine too. I dreamt only last week that I had two pieces published. Many years ago when I had my first baby I wrote about the experience and won a feature writing competition and had it published in national newspaper but since then it's only been journal writing. I bought the Joyce Carol Oates masterclass which I am working through at the moment, dreaming of having something published. This is probably my main motivation, I am bored in my job and dream of being a full time writer but that's a bit of a cliche lol, I enjoy it anyway.

I love reading about you following your dreams and putting the energy and time that would have gone into drinking towards running or writing @Breathmiller @Drybird2020 @Cartooner. Good luck to your daughter @Breathmiller, here’s hoping for good news in 2021. Hello @Kimlek :waves: My dh is still drinking, which is fine, I have just made sure there are lots of satisfying drinks in for me, and also let him know that I won’t be breaking my new habit on Christmas Day.

I have a scribd subscription and there are loads of quit lit audiobooks on there, so have saved a few and added them to my toolbox.

Sorry not to tag everyone, hope you are all ok.

I’m really struggling this evening. Feel really close to hitting the fuck it button. I’m being pathetic allowing myself to be swayed by the news. Think I need to step away from my phone and maybe drag myself out on an evening walk or something. It’s all hit me today for some reason and the kids have been really testing and had my mum in tears on the phone to me, just all a bit much. Can anyone talk me down?

I’ll try @Furble ! Don’t do it !

Go to @Cartooner tool box a bit further up and pick something to distract you for the half hour - a run / a bath / a book / chocolate - whatever you need - the see how you feel and if not passed pick something else

Oh and have a massive glass of water - if you’re tired / thirsty / low on energy after today it will help

@Furble not pathetic at all. All I can suggest is thinking about if hitting the fuck it button would fix any of the awfulness. Or promise yourself that you'll decide tomorrow. A walk might help, or a cup of tea and a bubble bath?

Why would you add alcohol into the mix Furble? When I have a shitty day I ask myself what a non-drinker would do, as after all they don't go and grab a bottle of wine or whatever! I have also hit a wall today re covid etc and the thought of homeschooling again, but trying to think ahead only one day at a time.

Just checking in to the thread again to say I will continue to lurk- as previously- this week and be with you into Xmas.

Finding you all very inspiring as usual.
I am at 170 days now, already! And have no desire to drink the poison at all 😬

Apart from consuming a bit much sugar I am looking forward to feeling healthier this Xmas and at the start of 2021.

I've discovered fever tree rose lemonade and Nosecco.

Thank you all. I had a sob, and then went for desperate measures and ordered a pizza. It has helped, yes it was comfort eating but you are right, booze wouldn’t have solved anything and the moment has passed now thankfully. Thank you for your support I am so grateful.

It is good to be honest here Furble, we are all changeable. I am so rock solid one day and then the next day I saw a nice chef I liked on instagram had photographed her Christmas side table with a glass of red and whatever she'd baked and it all looked twinkly and nice and I was thinking why am I being so uptight, this is a relaxing time of year, etc. But you know what I found about ten minutes later? A note on my planner that opened on January 17th to me writing '17 days in and I feel great and really really think 2020 is the year/decade I start fresh and leave habits that weigh me down completely'..... there I was in January, I stuck with it for 2 months back then, it was the kick/reminder that I needed that this is the life I want. Not the endless debating of will I won't I week to week around alcohol. Abstinence is so much easier.

Well done @Furble we need to add pizza to the toolbox

Seriously - be proud of yourself for seeing off that wobble. I hope you’re feeling a bit better now

You did it @Furble, well done. I hope the sob and the pizza were cathartic. I like @Mrsdoubtfireswig ‘s suggestion of adding pizza to the tool box!

@cartooner it’s so easy to criticise ourselves for not drinking isn’t it, instead of praising and giving ourselves credit for breaking the habit. Crazy.

@100PercentMe congratulations on 170 days! That must be very satisfying. I like your idea of thinking about what a non-drinker would do.

How are we all?

@Cartooner. Watching the depressing news and looking at the pouring rain with my dog looking pleadingly at me with his soleful eyes could have me rushing to the fridge for some dry white wine (bought for me by a good friend who I forgot to mention to that I was having a break from the demon drink). However I shall resist.
More worringly was the comment by my DH last night when he asked if I would be joining him for a festive glass or two on Xmas Day. I found myself wondering if I could manage to have say 2 glasses and prove to myself that I CAN be a social drinker. Day 18 for me and eating tons of junk but sleeping better. How are you?

Day 19 I meant to say!