"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

Well done on your milestones guys!

Re the constipation Iris are you drinking enough fluid now that you’re not drinking alcohol? Orange or apple juice might help.

Horlicks my sleep has generally been better but I had one of those restless nights too last night.

A big positive for me is not needing a wee in the night 😄!

Wow some amazing milestones on here - I am inspired and jealous in equal quantities

I had a migraine this week - out of the blue, splitting headache, vomiting a s had to shut the curtains for a few hours and lie in the dark. Was just like a bad hangover ! And felt ‘hungover’ for couple of days afterwards till it completely subsided.

I fully intend to have a sober Christmas but admit tempting thoughts had crept in (could have just the one on Christmas Day etc). Anyway safe to say the migraine experience has kicked those thoughts clean away!! Every cloud eh!

needsomethingtoread that's fantastic. Well done.

I did it!! I got to the end of a manically busy period of working. I still need to finish of spme of the admin but i pretty much finished tonight.

Oh and a friend made me some of her famous non alcohol ginger wine and i had it in a sherry glass to celebrate my last day. It felt like a real treat.

Just had guests to our house for first time in months, lovely evening cheese, wine, and mine was a seedlip on the rocks my sister said oh give me one of those. She loved it. We then got chatting about wine and headaches and she was mentioning recent research none of us should be regularly drinking. She's a gp too so we were discussing self care and just knowing what works for your body. Followed by gossip and a random quiz and me dropping a box of Christmas decorations as if I'd had a half a bottle!!! Haven't had such a good night in an age. Month 5 of 2020 alcohol free, dat 48 in a row. Oh i will still regret staying up this late and all the kettlechips!

By the way congrats on all the updates on days. I'm not able to go back and reply individually when on the phone.

Hi guys day 0 for me but I made a tit of myself again last night . I’m ready to get so help and change

Help345674

Hi guys day 0 for me but I made an idiot of myself again last night . I’m ready to get some help and change

Thank you to those that advised water and senokot. I have been drinking lots of water. Not drinking has really made me clean up my diet, I’m guessing my body is in shock.
I had a very satisfying bowl movement this morning ( sorry for TMI) 🙂 I feel much better. Looking forward to my weigh in now😂

Hey all, Just checking in!
@Needsomethingtoread congrats, 40 days is an amazing achievement!
@Iris5543 congrats to you too, for different reasons😂💩😂
@Help345674 welcome🙂

And thanks to you all for celebrating my 250 day milestone with me🤩 I think someone asked me upthread about benefits I noticed. There are so many but I’ll try and select the ones most important to me know:

• Being much better able to cope with stress and anxiety etc. I’m not perfect but sooo much better without booze
• I finally have great skin, I’m actually glowing! (Sorry I know this one is vain!)
• I feel fit and healthy in myself - I can run for hours!
• I wake up energised (well, sometimes...)
• I am much more “present” with my kids
• Better example for the children
• Save money
• No hangovers🤩

There is so much more but these are the main ones for me right now.

@help345674 welcome to day 1 when you wake up

Thought I’d swing by to say hello. Well done to everyone for trying and to those who have hit long term milestones. I’m just over 8 months AF, and I can honestly say I haven’t missed alcohol. I’m very glad I stopped. I have more energy and feel less anxious and low. I’m still a bit worried I’ll give in to peer pressure when I see family over the holidays. I like the idea someone had of having a special treat for abstaining.

heatseeker 8 months is fab! Well done. Its good to hear that its been easy for you. It really helps those a bit further behind you in the road. I have to admit apart from a few wobbles I have found this time round fairly easy too.
I'm actually looking forward to an AF Christmas. Well, today I am. That may change. But this living in the present moment malarkey is a good thing. I have zero desire for a drink right now. And I'll work on the present moments that i do have that desire when they come

8 months fantastic @heatseeker14

Having had the social evening last night and really enjoying it, kids slept in until 8am, had a delicious coffee and read of a magazine while they were watching tv. I went and did hard circuit workout and now i'm going to meet a friend for lunch.

Mind dump from me on grey area drinking - I realised writing my journal earlier that although I didn't drink to major excess, almost never more than half a bottle of wine, I loved wine so much and that ahhhh moment when I had a glass poured. 'Normal drinking' by most people's standards - although units stacked up! - my issue was more the steady creep of a habit and the steady creep of how shit I felt after drinking as I get older. It hit me today that for not drinking to make as much of a difference to me over the past few weeks and previous months off, it means it is a problem level for me. A problem, by definition of the word being something that preoccupies you, bothers you, on your mind a lot.

I know that doesn't sound like a revelation, but it kind of is right now for me as I have a voice on my shoulder saying but you didn't get drunk, you didn't drink loads, you enjoyed it the same way lots of people do? My DH says this too, he's supportive but also a bit, how long more of the dry stuff? The issue for me is = family history looms large in my mind, I do reach for wine when stressed but mostly I feel so much better not drinking that's reason enough to kick it to the curb and not try to moderate again. That said, forever is scary so for now I'm pointing towards 90 days, over half way now.

I'll do that toolbox summary later.

PS: I did get drunk by the way, the voice is wrong, just not often. I also want to add that I don't judge people who did drink more than half a bottle, I say this as the voice encouraging me to moderate. Fact is I'm small enough so that's a lot for me and add up the days the units stack up. My liver would probably chime in if it could to say 'excuse me cartooner, point of information, it was quite a lot added up over a week when you're the one having to manage it!'

Thanks for your kind words. @Cartooner, I totally get where you’re coming from. My units had been creeping up over the last few years. I had started to use alcohol as a coping strategy. I hadn’t reached rock bottom, but I was exceeding recommended weekly limits. I was knackered, dehydrated, fat and bloated, and I started to have nasty outbursts after mixing drinks. I realised it was because I have a lot of emotional baggage I needed to deal with. Before I could do that I had to get mentally prepared, so I decided to start looking after myself by stopping the drink and eating healthy food. In July, I finally decided to report a family friend who groomed and sexually abused me at 15. I feel more positive about the future. If I can get through my case without drinking, I know I will never have the need to drink again. Good luck to everyone on their AF journey.

Heatseeker it sounds like a tough year for you but mountains being moved growth wise, well done and all the best with the case.

@Cartooner your posts make so much sense. Sounds like our drinking levels were similar and I wholeheartedly agree that it is a problem if it takes up so much mental space.

Great moment today when faced with a choice of mulled wine, mulled cider or hot spiced apple juice - I went for the apple juice 😇 and it still felt lovely and festive.

Lovely @wildernesstips hot spiced apple juice sounds delicious!

TOOLBOX SUMMARY. ENJOY THE FESTIVE SEASON - DON'T JUST SURVIVE - THRIVE! (apologies to any I missed, it's a quick cut summary for inspiration/reminders).

In our toolboxes are:

This thread
have AF alternatives in - luxury juices / fizzy drinks etc
AF drinks – Bundeburg ginger beer, Fizzy water in a wine glass #reclaimthewineglass - yes you, use the nice glass, grab some ice, stick a slice of lemon in there too, you deserve it!

BOOKS
re listen to Allen carr audio book
re-read benefits of not drinking and list best / favourites

TREATS
Baths. With candles.
Massages.
Buying things for the house that normally I would worry about spending money on.
Talking to and spending time with my family.
Phoning/messaging a friend.
Being grateful.
You bloody lovely lot.
My day to day toolbox is making sure that I always have the choice of something lovely to drink, also a book. I look at the stats on my app every day too, that keeps me motivated.

PODCASTS
Note the ones that inspired you. Queue them for emergency inspo.
Episode of Feel Better, Live More with Andy Rammage and book marked One Year No Beer podcasts very good.

EXERCISE
online yoga video
Yoga and Meditation are always in my toolbox
Crossfit
I've got running in mine -- I'm constantly grateful to jess and bunnies for inspiring me to get off my fat alcoholic arse and start running, I love it now and have to make myself to take a couple of rest days a week to avoid injury. So I'll be doing that over the holidays.

OTHER IDEAS
Bath and book planned for relaxing night

Having my PJs laid out, fluffy socks and good book waiting for me on my pillow, end of the day hug waiting for me!

I'm going to let myself eat what I like over Christmas, just like in the early days of sobriety. I never wanted a drink on a full tummy, so keeping my tummy full should avoid any desire to drink. There's logic.

The things that use to help me early on were, lots of chewy sweets , chocolate and ginger beer - they still are now but because I like them, not for the sugar hit I use to need.

Yoga! Running every other day and use to have a bath every night when the wine witch came calling. Oh! And a word game app on my phone to keep my hands and mind busy

In mine is running, good quality chocolate, nice herbal teas, long baths and thrilled/crime audio books!

Bad days – try just have an early night.

Calm/Safe Zone: a space that acts as somewhere to retreat to, light a candle, meditation corner - vital to this is a key in the door of said space.
Calm app worth the investment for calming music/a meditation/sleep stories.

Journaling. You can burn the words after but it is good to get them out.

Fantastic tool kit summary thank you @Cartooner.

For anyone feeling low this evening after the announcements, the toolkit is here for us all above. The moment will pass, the itch will face and a bright and hangover free sober Sunday awaits us all 🙂

Thanks @Cartooner. 🙂

Does anyone have any good AF mulled wine recipes or mocktail recipes? Fancy trying something new.

cartooner thank you sooo much. That all sounds like a grand old life to living doesn't it?

I’ll start us off @heatseeker14

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/collection/christmas-mocktail-recipes

Please let us know if you try any nice ones!

@Cartooner thank you so much for compiling the toolbox - some bloody brilliant ideas there ! I’ve screen shot it and added as a favourite for easy reminding

Happy to say the glass has been reclaimed several times this week (with water) ans I am currently eyeing up a Neom candle (I would have dreamed of spending so much on a candle before but - I think a little treat is in order)