Day 1 for anyone just starting out

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

@ymna I think you robbed my 7 year old lol. EXACTLY the same. He moved schools 2 years ago and I thought it went smoothly but he says he has a 'bug in his brain' since then. He has no pals either. Just one is all I want for him. Praying it will be this year.

Congrats on 17 days

30 days is fantastic!! Well done @OrchidJewel @Rupertpenrysmistress and @noel66 I'm in awe! Day 8 today for me and back to work and back down to earth with a thud. At least I'm busy, just taking a quick lunch. I'm WFH today and still have all the children here, H has gone to work but they're being pretty good and leaving me to it.

In other news my eyesight seems to have deteriorated over the 2 weeks off!! I can't see properly. I've booked an eye test for this afternoon. I'm perimenopausal so think that may not be helping.

What happened to @maloney123, I think she was a similar no of days to me maybe.

Orchid - that's a good idea to save for a permanent summer place you'll always have for your SN DC. :-) That sounds very hard though. I shouldn't complain, my DD is high functioning, still can be hard at times though I guess.

@Ynwa1234 My children's school have said that if they have cases and therefore have to isolate they may do it in class bubbles, OR year bubbles (which are 90 at my DS primary or about 200 at my DD's secondary). So not very clear or helpful! I think hoping for the best is all we can do.

It is good she went in the first place, she is generally up for things but no friendships seem to make it to the next level if you see what I mean. It's all superficial, but she'll take it or leave it. Perhaps I need to let her get on with it a bit more, but then if I do that she sees nobody, speaks to nobody and stares at screens all day so can't really win. Will do her good to get back to school.

Is anyone else FREEZING? it's so cold...

@Stillseparatedat41 today is your day 1 yes?

@Justdonthavethefirstone, @CosmoFluff, hope you're both ok

@Newernewist how is it going?

Hi everyone,
I'm doing good, 13 days for me now, it's not been easy, but I've not had a drink
Went for a meal on Saturday night, was panicking about not having a drink with meal, had some elderflower thing which was really nice
Same again on Sunday, went to a pub (first time in a pub since I stopped drinking)
That was a challenge, it's the environment isnt it.
I'm keeping up with the AA meetings.
Sleep, still struggling.
I've tried 2 nights without the zopliclone, dont want to get too dependent on them
The last 13 days I've done a lot of thinking,I realise that I am an alcoholic
I have to face that I will never have a drink again.
But I'm ok with that

Excellent newer, congrats on 13 days. I could not go to the pub, I wouldn't cave but I would be miserable. I cant remember who else is out and about like that too? It is a tough thing to admit too and I'm trying not to dwell on the fact thst I'll never be able to drink again. Funny I only remembered my Dad saying to us years ago (in general conversation) always drink in moderation as you never want someone to tell you that you can never drink again. Well that ship has sailed hey

Writing I absolutely fully empathise with you on your DDs ASD and friendships. I hope I didn't come across as 'oh I have it worse' I'm well used to the little divil, doesn't mean everyone's else's life is easier :) we all have something dont we. Hope you get the eyea sorted. Age! I'm digging my heels in and not getting glasses yet anyway.

Ymna I think it's a sign not to exercise lol

Good luck to your little boy ymna. Is your 4 year old starting too? We are well settled in now, my 7 year old is loving being back. He is settling down again. He is my only reader (can barely write truth be told due to his stubbornness) and in 3rd class here they have all sorts of reading challenges that I'm big time bribing him to do (bad parenting but fuck it). And absolutely hats off to you for the smokes too.

Day 39 here, it's great getting over the 30 days. I'm sleeping solidly now but I do wake earlier (booze kept me asleep longer) but I potter by myself in peace and read. A nice start to the day, although I really should be throwing my body around a yoga mat.

Days getting darker, a bit colder and rainy. I feel it's going to be a bit of a depressing winter and going to try and come up with new things to do in the evenings to look forward too. Maybe we can gather a list of ideas? Pick each others brains to keep us chipper

Did you start @Stillseparatedat41?

Hope everyone else is doing good

Morning all. Inwent for my eye test and as expected my eyes have deteriorated so new glasses for me (more expense argh!). It's both close and long now I'm old but mostly for close work as I sit at a desk all day.

Well done on day 17 @Ynwa1234 (now 18 whoop). The screen battle is constant isn't it! So draining!

Well done @Newernewist you did well on your meal. And glad the recognition you can't drink anymore hasn't sent you into a tailspin. It's a crap feeling isn't it. Wise words from your dad @OrchidJewel but yeah I guess we didn't heed them and now we are where we are. I'm still wondering if I can moderate after a prolonged break but I think I know the answer. 🙁

Don't be too scared of going out orchid, when I went to the pub at the weekend it's the first 10 mins when you're making the drink choice that are HARD but once settled in with your ginger beer or elderflower or whatever then I was fine. You didn't come across as you have it worse at all xx I know you weren't saying that but I do also have to remind myself that DD is "easy" in lots of ways. Also, day 39!! I don't think I realised how far in you were - well done!

Hope your littlies have a good first day at school ywna 🤞 when you started again after that long break was it just wham you were drinking every day or did you moderate for a while and the it just slipped and slipped?

It is so cold this morning. I'm just sitting in the kitchen making my coffee to take on my journey to the office! Feels very weird after so long at home. Day 9, I think I've done 11/12 days once or twice so I'm coming up to the longest I've been for a long long time, prob since well before pregnancy. Trying to stay strong, still up and down but feeling ok.

My fecking weight has gone up though which I'm not happy about. Bikram yoga tonight.

Have a good day all x

I guess hard to get an optometrist job wfh! @Ynwa1234 what kind of things are you looking at? It's so hard finding stuff to fit round the children when they're little.

Have you tried running? Running is my first love. I started about 10'years ago doing couch to 5k and have run ever since. I run 4/5 days a week but am trying to add in some strength work as I'm cardio fit but very weak and not toned. Running is at least free and accessible in terms of you can just do a quick 15-20 mins and be home straight away. I sometimes take the kids on bikes, scooters too or they run with me.

How has your 7yo been anyway? Hope they're ok and a week of peace will be amazing for you!

Ynwa I know what you mean about the not drinking comments it is hard. Hopefully by the time they go for drinks your commitment will be well cemented. I have been to the Pub a few times and it is the initial few minutes deciding what to drink whilst looking at everyone else's wine etc and settling for an af cider!! After that it's ok it really is, who cares what anyone thinks. It has been said that those sort of people often have alcohol problems and find non drinkers a bit of a threat.

Day 31 for me and honestly I still don't know how I feel about it, it seems different this time, I rarely think about wine now and have no problems walking past it in the shops. I do worry a bit about Xmas as I tend to work it, I used to love putting a bottle of white in the fridge ready for when I got home, it felt like such a treat knowing it was there.

Anyway enough about me how is everyone else? Orchid you have your hands full, am I right in thinking your DC are already back at school? How are they doing? Noel we are both at 31 days so how to you feel? I am not sure why I feel a bit meh! Last time I quit I was so happy with every day I wracked up this time not so much.

I'm feeling quite down for some reason. I am planning to have a bottle of wine at the weekends starting this weekend. That is my plan moving forward but if it starts creeping up I will stop again as I didn't find it to hard this time. How are you all?

writing sorry I meant to reply to you, you asked if I was intending to stay sober long term, the answer is yes I don't think I have a choice I cannot have one. It's strange really no alcohol for 31 days but if I have one I will just continue. My mental health is so much better, I often think of that middle of the night anxiety and am so glad it has gone. I am so impressed with your running I really must start again, that helps my mh too.

Writing and rupert thank you, yeh I think I need to take the plunge to going out soon. 4 kids back to school is like all my dreams come true, they are happy out. 31 days for you and Noel :) and sorry about the eyes, just another thing hey. Xmas is in the back of my mind and I keep banishing it.

Yes Noel I get totally what you mean about feeling a bit down. Weather change, reality summers over. In work the few that were in where all a bit 'meh'. Hence I'm going to have to come up with a something to look forward plan.

Lovely job ymna I guess it's hard getting an optometrist job working from home (writing ) very funny. I HATE working from home but I get it if you have very set hours.

Anyway, I made odlums porridge bread for the kids (very healthy) trying to be more healthy but there is a cheesecake waving at me from the fridge which I know I will demolish (on the sly of course and double cream)

Morning everyone @ymna I think that's everyone's fear shutting schools again. One in Dublin west has already but hopefully with all these bubbles and pods and shite it might not mean full shut down. A lot of mine are terrible eaters. Look up annabel karmels hidden veg sauce, I make mine with coconut oil and they love it, shove it on anything. Only the 7 year old will eat anything. The bread is going down well, 4 year old wasn't arsed (yuck apparently) but after telling my 7 year old he had massive arm muscles and got even more handsome after eating it he tried it so I shoved it in his lunchbox today. My cheesecake I only realised was Irish cream liqueur lol, should I be day 1 again.

im enjoying the thread about the woman whos DH goes on a bender once a month and nothing g the rest of the time. Really interesting people opinions on alcohol.

I'm day 45, I keep getting totally confused. I stopped 2th July so I counted again. Absolutely nothing else happening.

Hope everyone else well

20th july

Hi all,

Sorry, ridiculously busy few days, but I just wanted to check in - 21 days sober and half a stone lighter! That is definitely motivation to keep going!

I have been here a few times before and have ALWAYS caved before day 30, so I definitely need to keep posting to stay focused.... but I am feeling good and optimistic!

I will read through everyone's posts properly a bit later today and will reply properly. Happy sober thoughts to all!

Super jel of your half stone loss @CosmoFluff I need a bit of that in my life.

I think I may have misled you all when i said I liked running and painted myself as some kind of Zola Budd / Paula Radcliffe gazelle striding through the streets! That's not much like reality sadly. I am rather slow plodding around! @Ynwa1234 if you give running a go just make sure you take it really really really slowly at first, skipping a day between runs, going slowly and running on slightly more bouncy surfaces if at all possible (eg tow path rather than pavement). It is annoying when old injuries come out when you're just getting going. Was thinking this morning how I used to still manage to run most mornings even with a mild or bad hangover. I have done both the London and Paris marathons, and I drank the night before both of them - only 2 glasses each time which was massively limiting myself becusae of the marathon!! Ridiculous aren't I!

Glad the school mums were nice but hard when they mention it's all about the drinking (as if we didn't know that!). Just hang in there and they'll realise you're fun and lively without the booze.

@Rupertpenrysmistress and @noelle66 well done on your 31 (now 32?) days. Noelle - let us know how you get on with the bottle of wine. I still wonder if I can at some point but we'll see, I'm a long way off that at the moment.

@OrchidJewel i feel like I may be a long termer too but I'm not ready to commit yet, it's still early days for me. 45 for you?!!! I'm sure your day count goes up 10 days to my every 1 ;-) I'm still on day bloody 11 (had to count on my fingers then - progress!!). On the subject of cheescake I bought some of those Gu ones for the kids as they were on offer and then ate 2 of them myself. Doh.

Ywna - how did your 7 get on at school? All good I hope. I've got one that eats limited foods - so annoying when I will eat practically anything (and everything given the chance!). I used to make that Annabel Karmel hidden veg stuff many years ago!! brings back memories.

Christmas is a concern rupert. Still, got a few months to get through first so worry about that later I guess.

Think we all need things to look forward to don't we. I will have a think and make a list (cannot think of anything at the moment except not getting up for work tomorrow!). Everyone else do the same, we need cheering up.

In other news...it's FRIDAY!! HURRAH.

Hi writing think I am day 33 today don't count religiously this time around, still not sure how I feel about how I am doing. It is all a bit bizarre, I guess I am sort of protected at the moment as I don't want to go out due to the current situation. I wonder if I had been in difficult situations before now I would have failed already.

I am sort of saying to myself I will have a drink at Xmas if I feel like it, not sure I will. It's just I am seeing all the Xmas threads and it always involves alcohol, how can you possibly enjoy Xmas without drinking poison?? I just keep thinking about the effect on my DC if I keep drinking.

That made me laugh out loud!!

How can you possibly enjoy Christmas without drinking poison? 😂 Funny. But so true. Love a glass of poison