Day 1 for anyone just starting out

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

[Hazelnutmochi]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4125242-Day-one-and-onwards

Hopefully this works

[Hazelnutmochi]

Belated happy birthday @Ynwa12345!!
And well done @GRMA
Day 134 here! Feel likes it's been very much one day at a time over the last few weeks but starting to get my sober mojo back.
Realise we don't have much space left on this thread so will start a new one and try and post a link.

[GRMA]

Happy New Year everyone, just an update I have had no painkillers since 27th Dec and no booze since New Years Eve where again I had only 1. I even turned down an offer from OH to go out to the shop to get me a bottle I promptly declined. However I have started my health kick I am now walking every day (12,000 steps or more in the last 2 days), It is hard as I am waking up with a raging headache every morning but I am sleeping in bed all night (I used to be wide awake after a few hours sleep) so I am already seeing the benefits :) I hope everyone is ok and staying safe.

[Sneachta]

Morning everyone

Fair play on day 3 @ymna I hope you got through your work day and actually got in. Sorry I do forget you over there are in serious lock down. Schools here delayed by only 3 days so I honestly can never imagine doing that home schooling ever again. It must be just torture and no free time.

Horrible Monday feeling. We took extra days off.
Started my new skincare routine before bed, I've to do it again now then force myself to do yoga.

Have a good day everyone

[Ynwa12345]

Yes I've been walking @Sneachta 30 mins. I'm defo looking into something for home but it's expensive. I've been standing outside work for ages normally manager is here at 6am lol. I'm getting anxiety. Lots of patients due it's a day out for them the eejits. Hope vaccine will come soon for patient facing etc and everyone else.
Adriene sounds awesome but will home schooling now and h back to work in office there's no time.. Vit d spray sounds good.
I'm on day 3. Very happy but been drinking a lot of sugary drinks... The dry Jan app is awesome too.
Hope everyone else is OK x

[Sneachta]

Mornimg everyone another weekend down

@ymna running isnt for me either with an old injury. Walking does make me feel less stressed and healthier. Can you even get out for half an hour? Save throttling DH? Lol

I read on another thread that Adriene has a new 39 day yoga up called breathe. Going to start that when I've finished sitting kn my hole and the kids are up. It's a thread for over 50s, not there yet but very good tips. Vitd spray from boots is one.

Loving the dry jan threads. Just realised I no longer need my refreshing drink at trigger time. I no longer seem to have a trigger time. Just the very odd day when I just want to go mental and knock a load of wine back but it passes.

Hows everyone? What are the day counts? Especially new people

[Ynwa12345]

Morning @Sneachta always good to hear from you! I have the powder mag and take it sporadically not every day. I defo need help with my emotions and hormones...i did notice when I didn't drink my p was without cramps etc I'm sure a lot of my ailments are due to drinking and smoking it's been about 6 weeks plus no smokes and I'm on day 2 no drinking feels like second nature to be honest now.
H IS STILL PISSING ME OFF. Eldest has footie this morning (wierd as schools are closed we are in tier 4 covid raging but close contact footie.. I don't mind but am scared) I'm going to work tomo too. I need to realise its not gonna go any of this soon so need to just get on with it. My friends and family are recovering slowly so u know we can get through this if we get it!!!
Enjoy your Saturday people.
@writingsonthewall your running is amazing. I couldn't get past run 2 on couch to 5k.its not for me I don't think. Also SW good on ya. I am so lazy with cooking...
I am looking into getting a piece of gym equipment not a treadmill or rower as nowhere to put it...

[Sneachta]

Morning everyone

Oh @writingsonthewall that's the perfect description 'white knuckled' we got through it though hey. Its was VERY triggering. Especially if there was alcholol around. My DH had 4 beers on xmas day. NYE I saw he opened wine lol. He did it very slyly. Dont think he drank the bottle (he tipped it) I used to do SW years ago. Didnt lose a bloody thing in fact put on weight. He is now 5 years old! But i continued with SW throughout my pregnancy and it was brilliant. Didnt have to tell anyone I was pregnant till 27 weeks. So you've reminded me I must try that again. I remember liking some curry? Fair play on the running.

I think I mentioned all the vits I'm on a while back but about 3 months ago I started 'mag 365' it's a powder you take with hot water at night. Supposed to put you in a deep sleep? Not sure about that BUT my god its helped with hormones. Normally a week before I'm awful with moods, general wanting to kill someone. Hasnt happened the last 2 months. No pain in ovaries and it just arrived without too many cramps. Maybe I'm delusional but I honestly put it down to this magnesium. I lob it in now mind about a tablespoon and take magnesium tablets also with my bits earlier.

As you were...

Hope everyone else is doing good

[writingsonthewall]

Happy new year all. Day 130! Somehow made it through Christmas and new year without a drink. I have to be honest though, I was white knuckling it a bit, it wasn't easy as you'd hope it might be after more than 4 months.

H has had alcohol every night since 20th Dec and has just had a glass of wine today as we had a roast but he says he's dry again from Monday so that will help.

New Years resolution for me is losing some lbs. my diet has been shite basically since I stopped boozing but the level of shite I've eaten has ramped right up over Christmas so I feel disgusting. Not starting today (can't rush these things!) but as of tomorrow I'm going to follow slimming world.

Went for a 10k run this morning so that was a good start but then I got home and immediately ate a mince pie so kind of defeated the object! It's so bloody cold outside which isn't helping is it.

Hang in there @Ynwa12345 the schools thing is so crap I really feel for you. I will have older 2 here until at least 18th but thank the lord ds7 will be going back on Monday otherwise I have no idea how I would work. Saying that, with cases as they are and all that I wouldn't be surprised if either all the schools shut or he gets sent home to isolate if there are cases in his class again so might be joining you before long. You're right it is the unknown timescales that send the fear of god into me.

@Sneachta pmsl at you giving your h the wrong medicine hahaha

[Ynwa12345]

@Sneachta good idea! I wish i could walk out the door daily at 8am..jist wish there was a time line on when kids can go back.

[Sneachta]

Oh I know that RAGE. Hmm dh has been better at coming out of the attic but still disappears! We have a rota for the 3 days. It was either he pulls his weight or I was out that door for the day at 8am! It must be awful over there trying to juggle with it going on and on. Get out for a thumping walk

[Ynwa12345]

Haha oh no how did your H do his back in @Sneachta? Has he become any better with some days off in terms of not coming out of his attic?
I didn't sleep until very late because in the end fireworks plus anger at H and was messaging him and said bunch of flowers would have done. Simple. He said I should have said i did bloody say!! So how will you home school until 11th and work? I'm working Sunday and am worried to be honest. But I guess it is what it is! Cannot wait to detox now for 31 days...I've still got so much rage for H...

[Sneachta]

Dh has put his back out. I got him some panadol and rooted out some Spanish difene. Luckily he googled them as was suspicious about the name 'diarfin' it's for the squits! Going to be a looking day here

[Sneachta]

Ah no @ymna that was extremely mean of your DH. As you say any small thing would have done. And your son noticed that too. I dont know how your all coping over there with your ling lockdown. Home schooling is just a nightmare. We are lockdown again now from today to 31st Jan, schools are taking an extra 3 days off but hopefully will be back in 11th. Hardly any cases in schools here.

A brand New year and hopefully a sober one. Does anyone have any other resolutions? Definitely exercise for me. I say this as I sit on my backside thinking of exercising. And getting to the bottom of why the hell I drank to excess

[Ynwa12345]

Thank you @Sneachta j was sleeping but got woken up by fucking fireworks!!!! Ffs and some wierd noise either coming from next door or downstairs haven't been able to work. It out yet! I got regifted a Xmas gift from sil. Flowers from another sil. Absolutely nothing from H and I cried for 2 hours lol because first time in 17 years he didn't get me anything.. His card was delayed also. He said I wasn't making up my mind in what I wanted I said a 5 pound token gift wouldn't go amiss but I was in bits of course alcohol didn't help my emotions so here we go dry Jan and beyond... I'm still seething hahaha my kids were sk lovely tk me cheering me up! Eldest said ill definitely buy u flowers come mothers day bless him and he told me to take a deep breath! I think everything got to me lack of sleep busy day also H did get me a cake and j went out for a walk to see my mum on driveway... Omg the fireworks are rally loud now wtf
Also I'm having to home school my kids for the next few weeks so that's kind of fucked me up a bit but u know I also don't want them bringing home covid. Anyway happy new year people!!!!

[Sneachta]

Happy birthday @ymna hope your having a lovely (probably not so peaceful day lol) must be so weird to be an age in 1 year for 1 day lol iyswim

@Newernewist your posts are inspiring, we know the road now and @GRMA wow for your days already with NO 'assistance' it's amazing.

Wont go on being NYE and all - back to my jigsaw

Hope everyone else is doing good bring on a very sober happy 2021

[GRMA]

@Newernewist will do thank you, look after yourself also you are doing so well xx

[Newernewist]

@GRMA
just take one day at a time.
When I joined this thread, I saw other people who had sober days under their belt and thought I couldn't get there, but I did and I feel so much better
I battled with my sleep cycle, but its back now, I love waking up not hungover and wondering if I upset anyone, knowing I've not wet the bed.
My DC are proud of me and I feel so much closer to them, but it's all only for today, I now know if I pick up a drink again what I stand to lose.

[Newernewist]

@sneactha thank you for kind words, it's a horrible thing to be dealing with.
You inspired me to finally stop btw
I remember reading back when you were orchid, the health problems you were having were like mine, I've got MS, and I put a lot of it down to that, but certain things have improved.
I didnt need medical withdrawal surprisingly, maybe I did but I battled through stupidly.
Your very right in needing to get to the bottom of why we have become alcoholics.
In AA meetings it's weird because everyone has a different story, but the same one.
I'm on the list again with NHS for some kind of counselling, probably CBT
Which I don't think the 2 rounds I had before worked because I was still drinking.
I think I'm ready to take it all on board now.

[GRMA]

@Sneachta thank you so much yes I it has been 3 days no tablets unfortunately last night I succumbed to 1 drink (3 finger bacardi) which was really good for me lol :) I do have a plan of exercise and come midnight on New Years Eve I will say goodbye to Alcohol for good hopefully, I have downloaded a load of books and have picked a room in the house to be mine I am serious this time xx

[Sneachta]

Morning everyoe day 162 here

@Newernewist congrats on your days and what a shock about your DPs partner. Your so bloody strong with a house full of booze. You hit the nail on the head for me the fact you have worked out why your drinking and the behaviour around it. That is my aim for 21, I'm not drinking as I will lose everything and that's easy but I need to work out why to be truly content with this decision.

@GRMA you sound like you have a mad busy life. I was a 6 o'clock starter. Couldn't help myself even though it was nearly making me sick. I went to my GP as I knew I couldn't do it myself (full description on page 1 as orchidjewel) with painkillers too (I used to knock them back aswell) I knew I needed medical support). Would your OH be supportive? It's the most important thing as ymna says to have one support in RL. Have you downloaded any books? Make a little haven somewhere in the house for yourself at trigger time with a drink that gives you a kick (mine was tonic). What is your plan basically? These boards are bloody fantastic for keeping you on the straight and narrow. Hangover free is the best thing ever. It's tough with withdrawals for a few weeks and sleep etc (I had libruim and sleeping tabs) but picture if you start now by February you will be over the worst and outlook is so much brighter. I will never forget one day my youngest said (he was 4) ' Mammy why do you always smell of beer'. Fecin awful. If you can go off the radar for a week or 2 and get your head fully into it without feeling you have to help other people in your life. You can do it. The depression and anxiety lifts so quickly, it's an amazing feeling altogether.

@ymna fair play on the couch to 5k and sober few days :) the exercise really makes a difference doesnt it (killer in the beginning) I'm enjoying my early walks. I'm sure the champers will be flowing tomorrow but dry jan then. Hope DH is on board with you.

This year is going to be about pampering! I'm going to pick a body part and throw the book at it. First are my trotters! DD and I are going to pamper them for 2 weeks. Then move onto another poor neglected part. My skin is fab at the moment. I'm wearing lovely eyeliner and mascara every day and like looking in the mirror (not in a I think I look like Ariande Grande way) So finally I'm seeing no alcohol benefits.

Hows everyone else? Too many to link but strong arm emoji

[Ynwa12345]

How are you doing @Fizzi1234?

[Ynwa12345]

So pleased that you are doing amazing on your sober journey @Newernewist! So so good. I'm so sorry to hear about your DPs mum you guys must be feeling a lot of emotions at the moment but you still didn't pick up the drink you should be proud. Hope DP is OK.. Must be so sad I'm so sorry.
@Summer7 there's a lot of support online these days and literally cramming with books and things will really help.. Or just even 1 person in RL to talk to without judgement?
I have struggled yes but always come back to the group. I have started couch to 5k and haven't had a drink for a few days but I'm determined. It's my birthday new years eve and even then I know my H will say oh have a glass of champers. But he's slowly getting more and more into dry Jan and if we both do that month together it'll be way easier (as he drinks every single day yday was whiskey!)
@GRMA great to have you on board and yu are thinking about doing what's right for you may it be now or in June... Just don't have the first one started this back in August but she hasn't been on since unfortunately but she spurred a few of us all one which was great!
@Rupertpenrysmistress hope you are OK?!
@Sneachta sorry you are back to work lol dont worry your friends will moan about hangover new years day!

[GRMA]

Every morning I get up and think today is the day I give up and by 5pm I am on my 2nd very very strong Bacardi & Coke, (1litre bottle lasts 2 days) this time last year I had lost 3 stone but over lockdown I have put it all back on due to the excessive drinking, eating and excessive painkillers (Co-Codamol) with no exercise, my OH says I am a functioning alcoholic as I am holding down my job (and do it very very well) I look after 2 of my youngest grandchildren aged (2 & 4) at least 3 times a week but as soon as they have gone and I have finished my work for the day I run to the kitchen to get my Treat, HOWEVER over the last three days I have noticed how it is affecting my health I need to do this as I do not want to become a Covid Statistic, my Kids, Grandkids and OH need me, so I am determined by the time we go back to work in the office (could be June time fingers crossed) I want to have given the drink and painkillers up and hopefully the weight may start to drop off, Thank you Justdonthavethefirstone, for starting this thread, if you don't mind I too am going to use this as part of my go to for support.

[Newernewist]

Hi everyone, hope you all had a good xmas.
I had a very sober one, I'm day 132 now and doing well.
I speak to my AA sponsor regularly, lots of meetings on zoom.
I put my sobriety down to AA, the God thing does my head in a bit, but it is like therapy.
I have learned so much about myself and my behaviour and why I became an alcoholic.
It's not for everyone, I know that, but if someone out there is struggling it might be worth a go.
Thank you to everyone who keeps me sober on here and in AA.
Seeing you lot do well spurs me on.
We had a bit of bad news yesterday, my DP mum died v unexpectedly, it's made me really think about a lot of stuff.
I did consider a drink, the house is full of it, but I didn't, it wouldn't have made anything any better and trying to support my partner drunk or hungover is not going to happen.
All I can do is be there for him, and I need to be sober
Xxx