Day 1 for anyone just starting out

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

[heatseeker14]

I just wanted to come on to say you are both doing a great thing. The first few weeks are the toughest. The benefits start to roll in bit by bit after a month. The mind starts to reset itself and things become easier.

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Hi, welcome on board. My partner doesnt think i have a problem but says its up to me. I am happy with that for now. I am doing thisfir me.
I am reading the secret joy of being sober and have read allan carrs easy way to quit drinking. I have also ordered the naked mind. All these were recommended on here so fingers crossed they help

We can support each other. We can do this.

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Thankyou heatseeker for the kind words. It all seems a little scarey at the moment but thats just the beer fear.

Ynw This is for support so if you slip there will be no judgement here, I am only just starting this journey. I have no idea where it will take us but we can face the highs and lows with no judgement and no guilt. I think its a jog rather than a sprint to complete this marathon.

I admit i am nervous. I use alcohol to numb the other challenges in my life and i know i am now going to have to face Them and start dealing with them. So i will need a hand hold too.

One day at a time and if we fall we can get back up and start again.

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Day one is nearly over. I am settled for the night and my witching hour has passed. Day one is always easy, the hangover makes sure of that. So i am going to use my hangover for an early night and heres to tomorrow.

I hope your doing ok ynwa and getting through today.

[Rupertpenrysmistress]

I would love to join. I have to quit. I was awful last night after a bottle of wine followed by whisky (I don't normally drink this!!) Unsurprisingly vomited and wasted the day.

I feel like such a burden to everyone I am so selfish in my behaviour. I have been here before, don't know if I can do this.

I have a whole collection of books Annie Grace is amazing, Allen Carr quit drinking aimed at women gave me my biggest break from alcohol (4 months), unexpected joy of being sober and the sober diaries.

I like listening to them as audiobook's as my concentration is not great for a while when quitting.
My previous sober times were amazing, the sleep, improvement in my skin, weight loss and of course improved relationship's. I felt present in my life and lost the guilt and anxiety.

So why did I start again? I can never just have one. I have some apologies to make this morning, another reason to quit. I did seek medical help previously but was told if I could quit for periods of time I didn't require help so, here I am again.

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Ynwa dont be hard on yourself today. Wwe have all beand take pride that you changed your drinking last night by stopping. I couldn't have done that. So well done. Its little steps that lead to big journeys.

I dont know how many days 1s i have had over the years. So heeres to today..

[Rupertpenrysmistress]

Yes we can only try. Great to have someone to do day 1 with. We can do this.

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Welcome aboard rupert. Th guilt and anxiety Are awful arent they.dont know how many times I've woke in morning and grabbed my phone to check i never text or whatspped something terrible.

I too am like you. Can never just have one. I will drink till its done and more recently i have went out my way to get more. Hiding bottes and lying to my own family. Something i would never have done before lockdown.

Stopping for 4 months prevously is amazing but for now just focus on today.dont be hard on yourself you can't change yesterday. Be kind to yourself.

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

I am so glad we have this thread. I have joined some other threads and the support is amazing and people are doing amazing in their sobriety. But it overwhelms me when I see day 100 or day 56 as just now just reaching day 3or 4 seems a challenge. So its nice to be starting out together with no pressure and a lot of support and honesty. .

So day 2 for me and my anxiety is off the scale. My body aches and i am hiding under the duvet. But i can do this.

[Rupertpenrysmistress]

Thanks just I too have been guilty of hiding drinks or putting the empties at the bottom of the recycling bin.

I know what you mean about the other threads, really supportive but I just felt a bit inferior with my day1/2. I really hope we can be like the other threads and clock up the days.

[PantsToThis]

Can I join please? I've had a problem for years, a bottle of wine a night. Now in lockdown maybe 1.5 if I'm honest. Never had a problem giving up when pregnant but can't seem to do it for me! Last year I gave up for 4 months, felt good, had counselling, lost weight. Then something difficult happened and I started again. After bingeing all of lockdown I've put pretty much all the weight back on, feel tired and grumpy and my liver aches (well, I presume it's my liver!) I'm worried. Day 1 today.
My book recommendations are Rachel Black's books and Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whittaker. Also Mrs D is Going Without.

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Welcome aboard and yes I think we are all pretty much in the same boat, it’s funny how it’s so easy to stop when pregnant but not just for us. And yet we know our families and kids need us sober. We are half way through today and hopefully all going strong

[Okayokayok]

I'm in! Day 1 for me. I've been part of other threads but didn't make it past 9 days (I did complete dry january and felt AMAZING). I am determined this time. I drank over the weekend and have been miserable today, I dont seem to get a normal hangover like my friends do. My hangovers are filled with anxiety, slight depression and it puts me in a really dark place mentally. Enough. I don't understand why I do it knowing how much it ruins me.

But anyway I had a good talk with my OH and he agrees I need to stop. He said he noticed how happy and joyful I was during dry january and he is worried about how dark my mood has become.

So day 1. My gym reopens Friday so I am hoping to throw myself into working out and hopefully shift the 2 stone i need to lose. I plan on going for walks in the evenings. I'll buy myself some nice herbal teas and have decided I won't diet as my main focus is being sober and I don't want to bite of more than I can chew by dieting, if a big bowl of nachos in the evening with a movie is going to stop me drinking a bottle of wine then I'm okay with that!

I'll be checking in here every day reading everyones posts

[PantsToThis]

I did dry January as well, I'm aiming for dry August (minus the last 2 days)

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Welcome aboard okay. I can totally relate to the depression and anxiety. I get this in day 2. Every day 2 and day 3. At the time it is so bleak an scary then come day 4 I start to feel better and thats usually when I reward myself with more wine for surviving the dark mood. It’s ridiculous when I write it down so this time I am aware of that.

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

I also usually start too big, diets etc etc this time my only concern is not even not drinking, it’s not going to buy it in the first place.

[OrchidJewel]

Hello everyone, I'd also like to join. I'm on day 13.

This time 2 weeks ago my drinking got so bad (bottles hidden all over the place, swigging in various rooms from 6pm on). Monday morning before dropping my kids off I had to tell DH that I was 'jerking'. Thought I had some neuro disease or brain tumour. He told me nope it's your drinking. Get help today or else just go. I went to my Mams. She rang GP, eventually spoke to GP late evening who was worried I was going to do something stupid so told me to go to A and E psychiatrict unit at 7am the next morning. After swigging yet again that night I was driven there. Was quite relaxed as thought quick chat with a pro will help. Nope full bloods, ECG, BP all sorts. I nearly passed out. Thought that's it they will discover liver disease, brain tumour whatever all from my drinking. Who's going to tell my kids etc?. I didn't tell them about my jerking (chicken that I am)

A psyche nurse spoke to me for an hour and a half (phew I thought no mention of bloods or I'm dying) she went off to ring husband, came back with a care plan (I was to stay with my folks). I was so relieved no mention of bloods. I asked could I go. Nah she says 'doc needs to check tests'. I spent an hour an a half waiting, pacing up and down, sweating and nearly vomiting with stress. Would my DH suddenly appear to help break the bad news?. It was the worst few hours of my life.

Eventually some student doc appeared and said all was fine I could go!!! I could not believe it. I went back to my Mams home and wrote my whole experience down, Contacted a counsellor (appt wed) he asked was I in Librium for withdrawal, he told me to get it from GP. I didn't. That night i took sleeping tabs which didn't touch the surface. I was getting brain zaps which would result in a limb shooting up. My leg or arm or twitch of my head. I thought I was dying. All night. Went for a walk at 7am completely shakey. I considered a bus that was coming along but thought of Librium. That will.solve it!! I got it (4 tabs 4 times a day for 2 days, then 3 x 4 for 2 days etc. Game changer, brain zaps and jerking was virtually nill that night and gone next night.

I will never ever ever drink again. I feel I have been given a 2nd chance. I have a lot of bridges to mend with my DH. I can't blame him, he didn't pour it down my throat but for last 10 years has done nothing but suit himself (that's a whole other thread)

Anyway I'm back home a few days, I've read Jason Vale and unexpected joy of being sober. I'm getting up doing yoga, walking like a mad thing more yoga at trigger time. Changed diet (some foods = wine, others = milk) and I'm determined.

Good luck everyone we can do this 💪

[OrchidJewel]

Sorry that was very long but it frightened the bejesus out of me and I haven't told anyone the full experience

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Ho orchid welcome aboard. What a really terrifying experience, you have been so brave. I am no expert as i am just starting this journey but now is a time for being kind to yourself. Not to be hard on yourself or trying to fix everything at once. Take each day as it comes and worry about dealing with past events etc when you are in a good place too. Best of luck and have a hand hold.

We all have bridges to build but we need to wait till we have the right toolsto do so.

[OrchidJewel]

Thanks justdon't (have to learn to tag ) your dead right being aware is huge