Day 1 for anyone just starting out

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

Thanks writings will let you know how it goes.

I want new stuff too @Ynwa1234 but the two weeks off work cost a bloody fortune. We only went camping and then to wales but eating out and the petrol and hotels and I am now SKINT. Very annoying when I want to treat myself. Oh well at least I won't be doing drunk shopping anymore. Did anyone else used to do that? I'd look at stuff I wanted and then decide I couldn't afford and then when I'd had 3 glasses of wine start ordering stuff.

Oh that's so hard when they say stuff like that, breaks your heart :-( so glad it sounds like he had more fun today.

Can't believe my lot are actually going back to school on Monday. Thank the lord. Not to have to nag about getting off screens will be absolutel bliss. Will miss them though ( a bit) 😂

Well I had one glass of wine this evening and shocked myself that I didn't enjoy it! Don't think I will bother and will carry on with the elderflower presse etc.

Noel it seems your tastes have changed however this sounds like my last attempt, it was my wedding anniversary and I had given up again!! Only day 4 tho, my brother bought us a bottle of wine, I had just finished a long day at work and my DH opened the wine, I thought why not? I had 1 glass that night, the next day cooking dinner I remembered the bottle and finished that and bought another and now I am here. I am not saying you can't manage it but be wary, for me it really needs to be never.

I had a lovely bottle green sloe and juniper with sugar free lemonade it was really lovely, highly recommend.

Writing yes the amount of internet stuff i drunk bought it's shameful, it seemed like a good idea after a few, I remember the stuff going I felt so bad. Ymna my dd started back at school yesterday he was sobbing, I think it is such a weird place at the moment, been off for 6 months missed his high school transition and leavers service, now it's all masks in the corridor and hand sanitizer, whilst I know he understands they are to young to make sense of it. He used to cry about me going to work thinking I might die- another insentive to drink!!!

The house is so very quiet and I do feel a bit lost but I think I will use this time to look at my diet and exercise, my chocolate consumption is too high.

Have a good day all, I am off to work 😞.

Morning everyone and big congrats on your days. I'm still (trying to remember how many) counting days. Personally for me anyway its lovely to see them banking up. Saying that 40 something for me lol. I'll get out my calendar later.

Rupert it seems older children are a bit more anxious. I felt SO sorry for kids who didnt finish their last year in primary as they should. I think we all remember our scary first few weeks in Secondary and now with masks and shields on desks how utterly daunting.

Ymna again your 7 year old is mine. In fact last year he told me so often he had no friends that I hid behind a bush at big break and lo and behold he was like the pied piper! Dont know what that all means. Maybe they secretly sense are worry.

Noel I know it's an awful thing to say but that was very reassuring that you didn't enjoy the glass of wine. That's what I'm.going to tell myself now 'I wouldn't enjoy it. Hope your ok with that

Writing (aka Zola ) highly impressive running marathons. You say you are slow? I'm.picturing Phoebe from friends. I know what you mean about committing to long term I know myself but I'm not dwelling. Thats what I'm saying to myself but you never know hey

Cosmo stick with it, get past the 30 days so you absolutely fuck up the counting like a few of us

Rupert i do think xmas is looking like a little bit of the devil in the background. Love that "poison' bit lol

I am training a student in at the moment. Now this isn't my first rodeo with this. The girl I have is a little star, real enthusiastic but my god lacking in initiative. If I nip to the loo shes sitting waiting g for me to press a button for her, I have had to explain what paragraphs are and 2 spaces after a full stop. MY NERVES, a bottle of wine flicked through my mind at 3PM (the stress of trying to be patient) but luckily gone not long after.

I am so much more patient and engaged with the kids. Even doing school lunches doesn't bother me. I am ramping up them doing this stuff themselves though. The 4 year old can make a sambo now and do all.sorts. the student just thing has given me a kick, to ramp up them thinking for themselves.

I've to visit a very elderly relative with his paper this morning, he lives near a beachy place so going to take opportunity to walk there after. I just got spotify, I know I'm not up with it. Trying to get into.podcasts. If anyone has any maybe positive people ones?

Right, all still asleep ap I'll watch some shite on TV.

Hope everyone else is good

Thanks for the warning Rupert. Orchid I'm glad you find it reassuring I'm going back to the elderflower. It just didn't taste like I remembered at all! I'm fine with it,tried it and didn't like it so won't try it again. Maybe at Christmas if I feel like it but prob not 🤷‍♀️

Happy days @noel66 that's it isn't it, say we are going to at xmas, birthdays whatever but knowing we wont really. I'm liking that

Hi all, posted a while ago then haven't kept up with the thread. Sounds like everyone is doing really well.
Day 13 today and have been so moody and irritable. I've always cracked around this point in recent sober attempts but determined not to drink. Its taken longer to get another day 1 each time. Definitely wanting to stay sober.
I did a lot of drunk shopping @writingsonthewall I bid on lots of stuff on Ebay the last weekend I was drinking including things that weren't even my size, luckily I was outbid on most of them.

Oh and on one item I'd offered more than the seller was asking for 🤦‍♀️

Thanks orchid I think not saying never is helping it to be more permanent for me

@hazelnutmochi 😂 that sounds like something I would do bidding more than they were even asking, or bidding on stuff that won't fit! I seem to think I've got tons of money when I'm drunk, I was in Brighton for a gig once and completely drunk, on the way back to our hotel I was drawing money out of cash machines to give to homeless people. I gave about £100 in total that I really couldn't afford. What's all that about?! They probs just spent it on booze doh

@noelle66 I'm so glad you didn't enjoy your wine (if you know what I mean). I used to be the same with smoking, have a couple of days off and then give in and it was never as nice as you thought it would be.

@Rupertpenrysmistress have added the sloe and juniper to my shop. I tried an AF Prosecco called Slavi and Ray last night. It was nice, not quite the same but probs closest I've had. It's expensive is the downfall and only available online but maybe will be useful for occasions. Oh I'm so sad for your Dc that missed out on their proper leaving juniors/primary experience, such a bloody shame. Hate coronavirus. Remind me what you do for work again? Is it keyworker?

I need to look at my diet and choc too. Have been going with it for now but I do really want to lose a few lbs.

@Ynwa1234 hang in there. 1 week to go until reception start. I will take your flower pot and raise it to a gazebo. Yep, I ordered a gazebo when drunk. I don't need, want or will ever use a gazebo. It was a right shock when that showed up I can tell you.

@OrchidJewel I'm still counting days too. I like seeing them go up and frankly am amazed that I've got this far. My 7yo also says he has sat on his own at break etc, breaks your heart doesn't it. Phoebe from friends is about right with my running 😂same style!! Remind me what you do for work too, my memory is shot to pieces. You're training a student. Also, apparently you don't put 2 spaces after a full stop anymore. I know right. I always always have done, I was taught it in word processing class back in the day, but apparently it's only old people that do it now and it dates back to when there were typewriters 😭😭😭
Urgh I had totally forgotten about school lunches. I hate doing pack up 😭 my older ones do their own so think I'll have to teach the 7yo.

I've been listening to the Love Sober podcast. It's ok. Also listening to The Naked Mind on audible which is a bit dry (not as chatty or 'fun' as sober diaries or unexpected joy, but also makes sense and makes me wonder what the hell the world are doing drinking at all.

Not saying never is definitely helping me too. I keep reminding myself I'm choosing this and I can Unchoose anytime I want. I started out saying 90 days which I'm glad about as if I'd said 28 days then I'd be nearly halfway there and my mind might start thinking I'll have one after that. 90 days is long though so I'm hoping I won't want it by then!

@Ynwa1234 you're amazing still going on the cigarettes as well as alcohol. My god, I found giving up smoking SO HARD. Well done.

Not sure what today holds. I've got some work to do (annoying). My eldest isn't talking to me as yesterday I said no screens from 9-5 and they had to find something else to do, then I caught her in her room watching some shit on YouTube on the laptop with her headphones in at 10am. She literally doesn't want to do anything else. So now I've taken her phone and laptop away. I feel bad but Jesus she needs to think of other stuff in life.

Might go down to the coast and have a run or walk and a coffee or something.

Zero clue why half my post is BOLD! Apologies for that

Hiya @hazelnutmochi keep going, the first 3 weeks I found very tough, constantly on my mind. But it does get easier. I just say 'yeh I'll nip down and get a bottle in an hour' then make sure I do something, dinner, cool tonic and repeat, moment passes. That may not work. I had big cravings at 3PM on friday. Think that's just the built in, yay its friday I can get locked to 6.

What books are you reading? Craig beck was my best one but others love Annie Grace. I refer back to it a bit. Especially the effect of the brain. And I'm going to look up more deeply about that (keeps me on the straight and narrow)

I'm working towards day 66 when I can buy my vichy vit c ampoules for my dry mush. Also I've started Santa shopping with what I would normally spend on booze. I have a lovely little hidden stash of toys and I'm putting thought into it. Its weirdly giving me a lot of pleasure instead of last minute 'any ole shite will do' I have a small family so I have though of nice things for them too. Big change for me to think like this but gives me a purpose

@writingsonthewall WHAAAAT, no 2 spaces after a full stop anymore OMG, she must think I'm an absolute tool. She knows we are dinosaurs I'm in the legal industry, how I ended up here I do not know but at least I have to go to the office as legal docs need to be original, so I'm classed as essential in a very non important lifesaving way.

I'm pushing reading here. They are terrible for iPads so their challenge is for every 15 mins reading they get a piece of pasta in a jar. For every 30 pieces of pasta they get a fiver. Bribing is the only way to go here. (They start this reading challenge in school with raffle tickets and fill in a calendar, the.winner gets a present from Teacher) dont care if they dont win, they wont as there are always ones who have hours and hours and hours but want to see an effort . They have their time to have their lunches made by today fuck that, I hate doing them

Ah, bless you giving all your money to homeless people @writingsonthewall. And your gazebo story made me laugh!

You're doing amazingly with the booze and cigarettes @Ynwa1234

I've just finished the love sober book and listen to their podcast, I really like it. I started the Annie Grace book a while ago but didn't finish it, going to go back to it.

Feeling better today after a good sleep. Dd starts at pre school on Tuesday so we're taking her for a day out to the zoo tomorrow, can't wait.

Oh and Phoebe from friends has the best running style, love Friends. I need to get into exercise and diet. I know a few people who have had success with intermittent fasting so may give that a go.

Well done ynwa your doing amazingly! Thanks everyone for the support

Hi everyone, just checking in, I'm day 18 today.
I feel pretty good.
Well done everyone else, and anyone who isnt doing as well, don't worry, just take every day at a time.
Whats working for me is AA.
I know there's the god thing, I am certainly not a believer, and the majority of people I've spoken to in AA arent either
But its working for me.
I've got my self a sponsor, she's pretty amazing.
I'm very early days in the whole thing, but I feel like I can do this.
My skin looks better, my anxiety has massively improved.
Sleep..... well it's still not good, but I'm battling through that.
I need recommendations for nice AF drinks, not keen on AF ciders or wine, but some really nice posh lol soft drinks

That's brilliant @Newernewist you've got to do whatever works for you. Hopefully the sleep improves with time.
My favourite AF drink at the moment in San perrigrino bitters drink with tonic, its not cheap but lovely for a treat and much less than wine. I also love a posh cordial. Robinsons do a lovely mint and lime one. Coming into Autumn I'll be hitting the herbal tea 🍵

Hi everyone 👋. Writing your gazebo story is funny, I have bought lots of random things but I can't too a gazebo unless you count a Christmas tree. Really sorry to hear about children without friends at school, I have to say as a seasoned mother it does not usually stay like this, it takes time but they will get some friends. It's a horrible thought for you guys, as all you can see if your poor DC lonely at school. A good school will notice and intervene if you need to i would consider contacting the school to see what they can do.

Hi noel how are you getting on? Ymna are you still off the cigs? You are doing so well especially with all the stress. I have to say I do feel calmer dealing with problems or situations now, I feel so much less stressed and my sleep is amazing, I am day 35 today. As I was preparing a roast at lunchtime I thought to myself the old me would have had a half bottle of wine by now but instead had a cup of tea!! It's really odd I don't know what the future holds I am not telling myself never again but I suspect i need to be teetotal.

Writing I work as an NHS nurse so have been pretty busy through out, it has been scary and stressful but now it's really hard work, we are now seeing all the sick patients who have been forgotten because of covid, I am so sick of covid being an excuse for everything. We do still have covid patients in my trust but as I say, they don't tend to come to my ward but my patients are really Sick it's heartbreaking as I know some patients disease has progressed due to lack of access to services.

Anyway sorry to bring the thread down I do love my job and I could use it as an excuse to drink but we all have stress in our lives.

I am not really listening to or reading any quit lit I am back to the books I love, the thrillers and scary stuff.

Sorry for not name checking everyone I can't tag people for some reason and whilst I remember your name's I can't always remember the details. Must do better, maybe I should write them down.

hazelnutmochi I love those bitters to and have searched online to try to get them cheaper as they are really expensive. I have given up on drinking monster as I couldn't sleep, sticking to iced coffee and sloe & juniper.
newerist my skin is the best it has been to, I have always looked after it but the improvement is huge, my eye colour is more vivid too, anything is better than red & bloodshot.

orchid I remain in awe of you, you have alot going on but still achieve so much,how many days are you now? Do you have long term plans re drinking or is it day by day?

I'm doing ok thanks Rupert I'm just cross with myself for even having the one glass of wine as it wasn't worth it. Determined now to keep going. How are you?