Roses are red, we like Becks Blue, Tryers to be Dryers push on through. 2019 will be our Valentine.

[Frouby]

Thread 4 for support, tips, tricks and friendship as we reduce our alcohol intake even more. For anyone who wants to reduce, stop, moderate or even just track their drinking.

Absolutely no judgement, just support. Everyone welcome.

Previous threads somewhere but am rubbish at clicky links.

Old tryers and new dryers, welcome to our thread. The one that starts in February and will see us all hit our goals as we move forwards.

Sounds like it was a good dry or moderate Monday night for lots, hurrah!

dionysa are you aiming for a dry week too/any particular target? Day 2 for us....I know tonight is going to be much harder for me 😞.

I had a good sleep, one wake up by small person aside, and feel much better than yesterday. I've got to start a job application tonight for a new post at my work, so hoping that'll keep my mind off things.

Sorry can't recall now who was job hunting last night.....good luck though. The national trust one sounds ace, id love to work there everyone always seems so happy at NT places!

Right better get ready for work. Have a good day everyone x

It was me! Morning frouby and purple. Yes National Trust would be my ideal job but unfortunately it isn’t paid wonderfully well and Saturday’s would be a challenge.
I’m also applying for one of the jobs at my school too. Fingers crossed, scary times

Hi, can I join you all? I need to lose a stone in weight and finally have to face up to the easiest and healthiest way will to give up my nightly wine. I’m aiming for 4 alcohol free nights a week, last night being day 1. Happy Chinese New Year to you all.

Thanks for the new thready Frouby
Welcome from a fellow wine and dog lover Dogwalks I hope you will manage to achieve your 4 nights. I did, stuck to it for 16 months (10 units a weekend) and am trying to get back there now. I lost 5 kgs when I stopped regular drinking and haven't put them back on.
Marking my place - well done on everyone who was dry last night, I was too. DP has decided he no longer wants to drink in the week which will make it easier for me to be AF instead of having a glass or two of wine to keep him company.

Hello everyone, thanks for the new thread Frouby hope your hair is swishy as we speak! Zoflora, good luck with the job hunt. dionysa, I’m glad your car is fixed.anglaise thanks for those photos, very interesting.

I’m on day 4 AF assuming I don’t drink tonight which I won’t, have a nail appointment at 9.45am tomorrow. I didnt drink on Saturday, Sunday, Monday or Tuesday but having a cold made it quite easy, it’s on its way out thank goodness. Just checked my app and I’ve had alcohol on 3 days so far this year, so that’s AF on 33 days out of 36 which is good. In case anyone thinks I'm smug, on one of those days I drank loads and loads of wine (over 5 hours but still) and felt absolutely shit the next day so I definitely haven't cracked it.

I did go to open a bottle on Saturday night, dh had cooked lovely food so I got a glass and a cold bottle of white and then thought hang on it’s only 5.30, if I drink this early it’s not good and I feel shit with a cold, will this help? And so I drank 2 pints of water instead and put the wine away. It’s a start.

Just checking in with the Tryers on this new thread... Though off out in a mo to go to watch DD in a sports match.

Zoflora, great minds... I used boiled salt water and it looks much better today.

Purple, I have had every good intention under the sun (Dry January, Dry During The Week, Only Drinking With Friends, blah, blah), and have not stuck to any of them. So I suppose my aim now is to get through Day Two (namely today). Even that might not be realistic. FML.

How is your hair looking, Frouby? Thank you for the new thread. Fab title, too. You need to get a job as a headline writer.

Anglaise, it should be easier for you to stick to AF during the week if DP isn't trying to seduce you into having a glass of wine.

Welcome, Dogwalks!

More later...

Hello everyone. Day off, looking after dd2 and toddler niece, who is allegedly too poorly for nursery but seems ok. Dd1 and friend here too now. DM here and has been fine but somehow haven't found opportunity to talk about her DP etc. Am wimp and terrible with conflict, and I think she's the same. Tbh though there's not much new to say. Well done everyone on dry /moderate Monday.

Am taking kids bowling later with woodcraft folk. Tempting to have a beer at the bar there if others are but am due AF night. Will see.

Good luck with job hunting Zoflora. Am racking my brains re weekend childcare. How old are your kids? Is there a full day activity they could do? Do they see their dad at all or grandparents?

Ps thanks for new thread Frouby

Seriously pissed off tonight. I’ve had a long conversation with UC. I lodged a complaint back in Dec after they didn’t pay me as my new employer had messed up my payroll and put 3 months wages through one months payroll.
I lodged a mandatory reconsideration and I’ve supplied bank statements and payslips. I’ve been told tonight after ringing numerous times that there is no case to answer. They have acted on information provided by HMRC and I should attempt to seek compensation from my employer!
I’m do ground down by it all. They (by my calculations) have cost me over £300 in lost UC and childcare costs (which are subsidised).
Really fancy a bottle to drown my sorrows tonight but that won’t help any!
Off to take dd to Brownies. Will read properly later.

That sounds very frustrating Zoflora. My mates employer fucked her paye up and put 1 years salary through on 1 month, causing all kinds of problems. It's taking ages to resolve.

Welcome dogwalk. I am aiming to be AF during the week as well. Not doing so well at that though. But I do drink less than I did last year so am taking that.

Hair nice and swishy, love my hairdresser.

Really struggled to stay AF tonight. I really really really wanted a gin but had a diet coke instead. I think I have got through the danger point now. But it was hard.

However I wasn't AF sunday or monday so really needed to get at least 1 day in.

Checking in to new thread - thanks Frouby. I’m glad you managed to get your hair done.

Zoflora - how bloody annoying! Hope your employer can help sort it.

Longest - Enjoy bowling.

Hi dogwalks - good luck on keeping to your target. Here to help. I’m trying to do 3 AF days a weeks. I’ve got an App called ‘Drink Free Days’ which is quite helpful in reminding you of your targets and rewarding you when you reach them.

Waterandlemonjuice - I admire your willpower on Saturday. If I’ve got wine in the house it has to be drunk!

Dionysa and purpledinosaur - day 2 here too and really craving wine. I’ve got some AF wine chilling but I’m not very excited about the thought of opening it. Why does wine have to be soooo nice 😩

Evening all and welcome dogwalks. water I'm sooo impressed with your will power Saturday! We rarely keep wine in the house as the temptation is just too great.

dion I've tried so many rules/attempts too and always slip back to too many boozed days a week. I really, really want to do this week to feel I can get it back in control.

canshop im feeling that day 2 struggle tonight too. I need to start a job application though so hoping that'll distract me till bedtime.

Oh and zoflora that sounds so so frustrating ☹️

Aaaarrrggghhhh

I broke and had a gin. Just one though, and it was a 35ml measure so not half a pint or anything.

I am sooooo bloody weak. I can go a couple of weeks being dry for 3 or 4 days, then other weeks struggle to get one in. If I don't get that sunday and Monday in, I struggle so much the rest of the week. It's like I have pressed the fuck it button.

One of my sisters has just annoyed me as well. Am lending her some money for her holiday. She and her dp are bloody useless with money. Absolutely shockingly bad. Never save for emergencies, blow every penny they have, I suspect he gambles quite a bit. She is either thick as mince, in denial about it or thinks it's ok.

Anyway. Her car broke, no money for repairs etc. Asks if I can lend her a bit (£100). Said yes. Then she's just phoned, no car tomorrow as it's not back, any chance I can drop it in (about a 15 minute walk) as I am passing. I won't be passing but agree.

Then the cheeky bint asks if she can have a lift back to mine with me as she's booked in around the corner from mine for her eyebrows doing.

Now am not being funny but if you are skint to the point of borrowing money, you can't afford to have ya fucking brows done can ya? Fuck sake. Is it me just being a bitch? I never have beauty treatments. The only thing I spend money on is my hair so I certainly wouldn't prioritise bloody eyebrows.

But I wouldn't be going on holiday when I was permanently skint either so I suppose brows are small in the grand scheme of things.

Feeling really really grumpy this week lol. Am a proper moody mary. Fed up of cold and wet and windy. Fed up of the house looking like a shit tip. Fed up of chasing my arse every day. Fed up of bastarding laptops and emails and phones. Fed up of being sober but not dry, it feels like caffine free coffee having 1, but if I have 2 or 3 I feel like an old lush. Just generally fucking fed up with everything.

Think have got sad. Need some nicer weather and outside times without getting frostbite. Fml.

Ahhh Frouby, can totally relate. I need a holiday. Chances of having one are approximately zilch on account of not being able to afford it, so I’ll have to stay grumpy and pissed.
I’m not suited to 9-5, even nice 9-5. They are all lovely, the job is easy, but sitting at a desk drains me.
I hate Tuesdays, and I hate February. February Tuesdays are the worst. So I’m drinking wine. Fuck. It.

That is pretty bloody cheeky of your sister frouby, id be really annoyed too.

I feel proper Mardy today too. I think it's delayed post-Xmas come down for me as I've just carried on drinking and eating my way through jan in continued Xmas spirit. And now the fun times are over and I've got to cut all the good times back. Boo.

And I can't even distract myself with this job app as the sodding online system is down for maintenance works. Argh! Thankfully this shit weather means I cannot face going to the shop (for wine) so can almost say I've done 2 days now.

Thanks to whoever posted about the app too, (can't go back to read posts on the app which is v annoying), have now got that so hoping that'll help motivation.

Going to the pub tomorrow night
😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Ahaha. We are all grumpy, which makes me feel a bit better about my own grumpiness.

Frouby, I have had 3 x 40ml of strong gin. The bottle is now empty, so there's not much more I can do beyond open a bottle of wine (which I'm not going to do). FML. Usual old crap here.

I know your family drive you bonkers, but I do rather envy you the closeness and the number of sisters, cousins etc. However mad they might be, they are yours.

Really sorry to hear about your UC problems, Zoflora. Sometimes it feels as if crap is just piled upon crap, and there's no visible end to it.

Purple, as you see, my resolutions are useless.

I’m off to bed with a cup of tea. I haven’t had a drink tonight. Somehow I seem to have stopped smoking as well thanks to the horrendous cold I’ve had. So day 4 AF and NF.

I had a proper tussle mentally though. I did the whole ‘I deserve it, it’s been a shit day’. But tomorrow I’d still be pissed off with UC, my employer, feeling ill and facing another skint month. But I’d also be hungover, poorer and feeling like I’d let myself down. So I decided to make a different choice. I’ve spent years trying to find a solution in a bottle, to numb my emotions in a fuzz. It always ends the same way. With me dealing with the same issues (or not dealing with them) on the next day.

I’m choosing to make different choices. See how that pans out for a bit.

frouby swishy hair is lovely . Honestly I’d be pissed off too it’s a bit CF of your sister. She needs to buy some tweezers and sort her priorities out!

Longest hope you had a good time

Frouny, Dinosaur, NC4 yep I’m fed up too! I sometimes think I’ve got a handle on stress and then something else comes along to juggle

Hello to walking and anyone else I’ve missed!

Zoflora, I am full of admiration for your choice to make different (better) choices. I think this might be my aim, in due course. Feel pretty un-pissed as 3 x 40ml is unfortunately relatively little for me. However, it should mean fewer night terrors...

Flying in. Couldn’t find this thread and thought I’d been abandoned 🤣🤣

Frouby - id be mega pissed off too. My sis is similar. Spends on shit then needs loads from people to apparently feed her kids. However that’s after paying for foreign holidays and all sorts of luxury shit!! So frustrating as hard to say no.

Dd2 went to hosp school today for first time. Hoping it can become more regular as she so needs it. And so do I. I adore her so much, but there’s only so much you can do to occupy a child home from
School, aged 10!!

Wine again tonight. Half bottle. Moderating but awcretelt desperate to neck the lot!!

Secretly

Flossie, I couldn't agree more re children. I hope your DD2 got on ok and that it will become a regular thing. You both need this.

Half bottle is good moderation. If I had had more gin, I'd have necked it...xx

I don’t even have an excuse. I don’t like working (boo bloody hoo) I have the lightest period possible (although Mirena was meant to do away with them completely).
I’m just a bit lonely. Where can I find a soul mate?

Omfg I’m properly pissed off. I am chief mediator in our house. Try to keep everyone happy and calm moods etc. Dh came home an absolute wanker mood. I was kind and nice to him despite him talking to me like utter shit and trying to provoke a row. I was relaying my day..about dd and hospital school, also other dd has hospital consultant appointment. Pretty full on day. Plus legalities to sort regarding dd2 and getting nursing support and respite etc. I sort it all. Dh does nothing towards it. Anyway..I was relaying my day and he interrupted to say he didn’t like the tone I was speaking in and I was ‘matter of fact’. Wtf!! Anyway..I ignored that. Made lovely dinner and indulged him about his day etc. Then this evening I said something, basically asking about his work etc again..and he kicks off saying he doesn’t like my tone again!! Ffs!! He’s basically been vile all evening and I’ve been ultra kind. So I reply saying ‘my tone?? But I’ve been nothing but kind to you!’ To which he replies in a sickly wet voice “oooooo, I’m so perfect and kind and sweet...ooooo”!!!!!!! Wtaf!! Trying to take the piss!!!!! Then accuses me of having pmt!!!!!! He’s two weeks out so he’s wrong!! But he’s trying to pin his moods on me. I’m so so hurt. And to say that about pmt shows how insensitive he is!! A total wanker !!!!!! He’s been ill with bad chest for 8 days and I’ve homestly been nothing other than pampering!! Why the fuck does he think he can behave like that to me?!!!!!!
I’m so hurt..I’m contemplating life in the spare room tonight..something I’ve not done in 21 years of being with him!!