Roses are red, we like Becks Blue, Tryers to be Dryers push on through. 2019 will be our Valentine.

[Frouby]

Thread 4 for support, tips, tricks and friendship as we reduce our alcohol intake even more. For anyone who wants to reduce, stop, moderate or even just track their drinking.

Absolutely no judgement, just support. Everyone welcome.

Previous threads somewhere but am rubbish at clicky links.

Old tryers and new dryers, welcome to our thread. The one that starts in February and will see us all hit our goals as we move forwards.

Anglaise - I think it’s normal for your back to feel worse before getting better after a visit to the osteo. I have problems with my neck sometimes and visit a chiropractor and always feel 10x worse for a couple of days and then it usually feels loads better. I hope yours does too very soon. My current plan is just to do 3 AF days a week and cut down on others. Last night DH and I shared a bottle of red so not too bad. I am aiming to extend to 4 AF days at some point ...

Flossie - I really hope all goes well with the meeting today. Update us later.

Dionysa - I’m interested to know how your matched betting goes. Good luck with it.

Purple - well done on 4 AF days!

Zoflora - sorry to hear about your job situation. I hope something bigger and better is round the corner for you.

I'm beginning to think that I've lost all control of my alcohol intake and I don't know what to do. I dont drink every day, maybe a couple of times a week, but what used to be a couple if glasses of wine has now become a couple of bottles! Once I start I can't seem to stop. I'll only have if my husband goes to the pub (I'm at home with the kids). I regularly don't remember going to bed Then feel shit the next day, like today.

Afternoon all

Rosie all of us have felt like that at some point. I find I binge more if I like what I am drinking, like wine. Could you maybe buy one bottle then switch to beer or shorts with mixers, or try starting later then alternating with soft drinks or water.

Flossie I hope everything went well. Fill us in when you feel up to it.

Am not dry tonight, we are off out! Few beers and a meal at local Indian. Really looking forward to it. Am aiming for moderation though, am working for a few hours in the morning hopefully and won't do it if I have a steaming hangover.

I'm not alone then! Wine/prosecco is fatal for me, I can't stop at just a glass or 2! It would be so much easier if I swore off it but of course don't! Yes starting later does help and I do think switching to something else would really help. I'm still feeling a bit crap, it was wine then vodka last night for heaven sakes.

Hi rosiewoo. It can slide so easily can't it, I'm the same - it's so easy for the amount I drink on a drink day to slowly creep up. What would you like your drinking to be like? I'm wondering if I can actually stick to limits or if I'd be better off just removing the battle and not drinking at all but I seriously doubt I'd manage that.
I'm aiming for a dry week at the moment, today is day 5 and I'm gagging for a wine. Entering my danger zone but thankfully the bad weather is stopping me go to the shop!
How are you feeling now? Wine and vodka is a fatal mix for me!!

frouby have fun tonight that sounds an ace night out 🙂

Yes it can! It seems my habits are becoming worse, not better despite good intentions. I don't want to stop all together, for example I'm usually fine on a night out, it's the at home boozing that's the problem. I now buy 2 bottles of wine as 1 isn't enough, but I'm too pissed with 2!! Yet I think that's a safer option as I'd then just have spirits which makes me feel crap!! I can't quite believe this is what I've turned into. My husband goes to the pub, so I drink at home, that's the habit I need to break, I don't have to just because he's out. How do we change these habits/associations though?

Well done on staying dry, good for you.

Rosiewoo I've taken up crochet and find even if I drink, being busy with my hands means I drink much less than I normally would. Is there anything like that you could do when you HB is out? Trouble is I sometimes just can't be arsed to crochet and the thought of just vegging in front of the tv is too compelling!

This week I have also started a good book and just been going to bed super early, to avoid temptation. Depends how you feel about early nights (my kids get up 5-6 every day so I always need them!!).

We're also keeping the house booze-free at the moment to stop temptation, could you do that?

I definitely think there something about needing to replace booze with some other activity, otherwise the loss feels to crappy.

Xxxx

I need to pick up the blanket of sobriety again. I did well that week.
Rosiewoo we’ve all been there. I don’t find a bottle of wine really cuts it these days, so my first steps in moderating is to be happy with a bottle and have several AF a week.

Just checking in to see how Flossie got on at the meeting?

Welcome Rosie. If you can cut down the quantities you will probably find your tolerance drops quite quickly so you can get the nice fuzzy feeling on less. I have found nanny state good for increasing the number of AF days, though less so for moderating on a particular day.

What's your blanket Nc4now? Sounds good! My next project is a hat. I'm full of enthusiasm but very little skill so far with anything I've made

I am babysitting for a friend tonight. She handed me a glass of wine on my way in but am obviously not going to top it up so moderation is on. She's returning the favour tomorrow though and I am off to a friend's 40th.

Dd2 still poorly, though better than yesterday, so have been stuck indoors all day. Made a start on domestic goddessery
while she was dozing by tidying up all the crap DD and friends had left strewn over every room. Honestly it was ridiculous- I could barely get in most of the rooms- and am totally exhausted now. Also did all the laundry and batch cooked a load of stuff for the freezer. Was bloody grumpy about it though - domestic servitude is not really my bag.

Ah purple well, I love crochet, but often can’t be arsed. After a particularly boozy and shame filled week, I bought wool and hooks and started on the blanket of sobriety. I do one or two squares a night, just basic granny squares.
I haven’t touched it for a while, and guess what? The booze has been creeping.

Have been thinking about you, Flossie, and hoping today hasn't been too awful.xx

Longest, domestic servitude doesn't sit well with me, either (neither does being stuck indoors with sick children). This evening, I have cleaned the oven and the sink, on a Friday night, because it is Day Sodding Three and I have had the other half of my bottle of M&S FizzZero, along with a ton of Jelly Babies. I am bored, pissed off, headachey and very tired. So much for the AF glow. I will be making up for my three days tomorrow, though. In fact, the prospect of tomorrow is the only thing that has made Day Three possible.

DD has been an unspeakable cowbag. However, she has also started a period today, so that might explain at least some of it. DS has declared he is "going travelling" in summer. Where? Who with? Funded how, precisely? He has of course not thought it through at all. Still want to swap DC, Purple, so I can have an early night (can do early mornings, but not late nights. Especially not when AF, as every bloody minute feels like several years).

NC4, I think you should post pics of the Blanket's progress.

Hope you are having a fab evening, Frouby!

Rosie, on the good side, you are not drinking every night. I find that a bottle of wine doesn't really touch the sides. I then start on whatever spirits happen to be hanging around, on the basis that they're 'not a second bottle of wine', and are therefore not in the slightest bit alcoholic.

Anglaise, I'm really sorry about the health problems. Backs are awful. I have a brilliant osteopath (sadly can't see him that often due to cost), but he has done some remarkably painful things to me that have reaped rewards. Have you been given medication for the hyperthyroidism?

My mother was ill suited to domestic servitude, so instead she went to university, got a job and convinced me it was a feminist issue.
I actually quite like being a homebody but I’ve had to learn it all from scratch and often can’t be arsed.

My mother was also ill suited to domestic servitude, mainly because she was always either pregnant or looking after babies or small dcs. I quite enjoy cleaning, or the end results of cleaning but lose the will to live when the other fuckers that live here come home and make it a mess again. Dh in particular is a fucker for it. He's either clomping through the house in work boots, leaving smears of bloody psoriasis cream behind him like a snail with scabby legs or leaving a trail of dust behind him, which then sticks to his snail legs trail. Twat.

Had a lovely evening tho, we had ds with us who is a comic. He raided the £1 ball machines in the pub and we 'won' transformers masks. He was Bumble Bee and I was Optimus Prime. DH didn't get one cos ds didn't have another quid and isn't made of money 😂😂😂 He also announced in the very naice indian restaurant that is full of 10 bob millionaires that it was disco time and he was gonna get funky, because the lights were coloured and there were spotlights.

Didn't get too pissed. 2 cans at home, 2 halves in the pub and 2 with our food.

Dh unexpectedly working tmrw. I will have a lovely starfish lie in as he's up at 6.30am. Have got ds kindle on charge at the side of me so will send him back to bed with that when he gets up . yay me.

It is very true abour your tolerance reducing when youve been drinking less. Went out on a work event yesterday, drank LOADS, tripped over my long dress and fell over (ffs), and have been suffering with a hangover all day today. Stayed in a hotel and had to get my cab home today to pull over so I could be sick. Copiously. That hasn’t happened to me in years and years, like ten years or more.

I’m embarrassed, hungover and feeling like I never want to drink again. So I’m AF today, it is day 1 again. Work mate says I was lovely and shouldn’t be embarrassed but I am.

My app tells me I’ve been AF on 35 days so thats 35 out of 39 days (of 2019) not drinking. Which doesnt make me feel any better about last night really.

frouby that sounds a lovely evening glad you had a good time, hope you're enjoying that lie in this morning.

water I honestly wouldn't worry we have all been there. It isn't nice when it's you but I think other people care/notice far less than we think. How are you feeling this morning? Hope you're ok.

I was AF yesterday so that's 5 days now! The kids have loads of clubs early on Saturdays and it's been so nice getting up without a hangover. 2 more days to get through then some my planned week. DH says he's drinking tonight so we'll see how my resolve goes with wine in the house .

Any nice plans today everyone? X

Water... Oh dear. I know all about the toxic combination of regret/shame/hangover - but you have done 35 days out of 39, which is absolutely incredible. It is probably 31 more days than I have managed. Your post also reminds me not to go too far overboard tonight. I don't suppose my tolerance has decreased much after only three days, but I suppose it's possible-ish.

Purple, 5 days is fab, too. What I don't understand is that I know it's nice to get up without a hangover (even a minor one) and get on and do stuff. I also know it's nice not to wake up with Beer Fear. Yet I put myself through it anyway.

Spent most of last night peeing. Either it is a detox thing, or the result of endless fizzy drinks and herbal tea. Probably the latter.

Frouby, I'm glad you had a good (and pretty moderate) night. Your DS sounds brilliant. I love the not being made of money thing.

Just flying by so sorry if I’ve onlt skimmed through..

NC4 - blanket of sobriety sounds fab!! Great idea!!

Frouby - your night sounds fab.

Longest and Dion - thanks for your thoughts. It was hideous. And dd remains not able to go to school. They can’t have her. 12 professionals in the room talking to each other on the risks of this child (hello..it’s my daughter!!) dying in their care!!
As dh pointed out...if it’s that bad then help us!!!! We do this alone with no support!! It lasted 3 hours and had to stop because the hospital teacher that was looking after dd, had to leave.
On a good note...dd went to hospital school and loved it. And will be going again next week for a session.
So in a word. Fml over and over. For completely trashed last night!! My parents down staying with us to ease some burden so dh and I managed a rare hour in the bar down the road!!

Hugs Flossie that sounds incredibly hard. Glad to hear DD enjoyed hospital school though.

Water we have all been there. The guilt and shame will pass. Be kind to yourself.

I need to crack on with that blanket. I’ve been drinking in the evenings after work. Too much. I think I just can’t have wine. I certainly shouldn’t have a second bottle.
Day one today.

Big hugs, Flossie. I'm glad your parents have come to help, though obviously what you need is long-term strategies. You also need to try to find ways to look after yourself, while you're busy looking after everyone else. I know from experience that it's far, far easier for someone else to say this than it is for you to do it .

NC4, I think the blanket might be more fun than cleaning the sodding sink.

Hi everyone. flossie how bloody awful for you. I’m glad your parents are visiting. To be honest I’m in awe that you are upright never mind trying to moderate your intake.

frouby your ds sounds hilarious! What a lovely evening.

water I think everyone on here knows exactly how you are feeling. We’ve all had the paranoid hangover from hell and the shame of the previous night. A bit of tlc over the weekend and I hope you feel better soon.

I had a bottle of wine last night although it lasted from 8pm to 1pm as I was composing a long email to my M.P. about the shitty service from Universal credit so I wasn’t drinking quickly. Have felt ok today, I’m having a clear out and tip run day as dd is with my mum and I feel shattered already!

Waves to anyone I haven’t spotted, I’m in my phone and can’t flick up and down the thread easily when I’m posting.