Roses are red, we like Becks Blue, Tryers to be Dryers push on through. 2019 will be our Valentine.

[Frouby]

Thread 4 for support, tips, tricks and friendship as we reduce our alcohol intake even more. For anyone who wants to reduce, stop, moderate or even just track their drinking.

Absolutely no judgement, just support. Everyone welcome.

Previous threads somewhere but am rubbish at clicky links.

Old tryers and new dryers, welcome to our thread. The one that starts in February and will see us all hit our goals as we move forwards.

Turned out I was too busy stopping kids lying on the floor underneath bowling balls to have a beer and am on the nanny state now I am back, woo me.

Can't decide if I am grumpy or not - was in relatively good mood until about 8pm then dd1 annoyed me by crying over losing at bowling and DH annoyed me by announcing he couldn't do the school run he"d promised to do on Thurs. At the same time I don't generally mind February, as long as it stays bright and frosty. Better than December and January anyway - is getting lighter and closer to spring.

Flossie, I totally agree re kids home from school!

School want checked trousers and a black cloak/cape sending in for assembly. Wtf?

Frouby grr at dsis spending your money! Did you say anything?

Sorry your job was boring NC4. I like my desk job but am hoping never to work full time again (especially not on Tuesdays )

Zoflora that sounds brilliant. Really inspirational.

Oh Flossie, crossed posts. What an arse! Your posts about your DH get me really worked up on your behalf. Really angry for you.

Did I miss a post about DD starting hospital school? How has it been? I hope the other appointment was ok.

Hugs.

@Canshopwillshop thank you for coming back for me x

Too late for me, a bottle down and think I have told my husband I don't love him anymore.

Hey ho, back to dry tomorrow. I like myself more when I am sober I think (slopes off to bed with glass of red...)

40 bloody days. I am shit.

zoflora, that’s completely shit, is there another way to appeal, what a fucking stupid decision. I'm sorry. That philosophy you've mentioned was what stopped me on Saturday, I just thought I will feel worse if I drink. And last week, I had 3 stressful things (mum ill, shes ok now, a&e with dd, also ok now and something else) and every time I thought thank god I havent been drinking, this would be even tougher if I had. Especially a&e at 1am). I think most bad situations can be nade worse with a drink if I'm honest.

frouby, well done on only a gin, your sister is a piss taker, I agree with You.

canshopwill thank you, I have a whole fridge full of cold decent wine (it was in the garage during dry January) so I am impressing myself! Well done on day 2. I find the first few days the hardest.

Purpledinosaur well done on 2 days. I tick off “stayed dry” on my dry January app every morning and it motivates me as I don’t want to untick it later.

flossie half a bottle IS moderating imo. I hope your dd had a good day.

Hi mollysmummy, youre not shit! 💐

mollysmummy I just checked the other thread, sympathy on your dd being hard work, tell us if it’ll help but not if it won’t. Tomorrow is another day, 40 days is fab!

Checking back in. All crap here as well but I agree zoflora drinking is a temporary numbness. The next day all the crap is still there but I have even less resilience to cope.

Ah sorry to all those that had a tough day yesterday with nightmare relatives/kids etc. Life is so hard sometimes.

water that's a great tip to tick off the app in the morning. I'm going to do that now as I think pub visit today could be tough, though I've offered to give my friend a lift so I can't duck out of driving which should keep it an AF evening. Wish me luck ladies!

Have a good day everyone xxxxxxx

Right. I am not drinking today. What has happened to my resolve? I was doing ok at not drinking in the week.
I need to remember how good I felt the week I was AF. I can feel myself tipping into depression. I’m not sure if I’m drinking because I’m down or I’m down because I’m drinking but either way, they are feeding each other and it needs to stop.

Flossie great news that DD went back to school and I'm sorry about your DH, men can be arseholes when then want.
Purple well done on Day 2.
Frouby I'm fed up with winter too, the bloody rain and greyness is so depressing. Although it is now getting light at 8am and the birds were singing this morning when I went for a run so Spring is on the way.
NC4 Alcohol makes you more depressed because it reduces the seratonin you produce which in turn makes you want to drink more to get that hit, it's a vicious circle. Over exercising is the same and I'm guilty of that now.
I didn't manage AF as DP arrived with pizzas and a bottle of wine despite his intentions not to drink in the week. I only had 2 small glasses though, he had the rest. Slept badly because I have a bad back at the moment although it didn't stop me running 20kms (lunchtime and with club last night) yesterday.

Anglais, sorry to hear about your back. Hope it eases soon. Does running agrivate it?? I so sooo miss my running. It was head space that I needed. Sadly with dd being home, I don’t get chance to go.

Zaflora - agree that alcohol is temporary but sometimes that temporary fix is what gets me through. Wish there was an easier way sometimes.

NC4 - I tell myself every day I’m not drinking. I sooo wish I could follow it through. :-(

How are you all??

Hello all. Gah, dd2 is sick. Obviously she chooses first week in new job!

Going to attempt to be AF till Saturday. Am babysitting for a friend on Fri, which should help.

Zoflora, totally rubbish of benefits folk. I'd say that since they pocketed the money they are first in line for compensation but maybe work are easier to deal with

Catching up...

Flossie, I can't believe what I read about your H. I have no words , especially after all you are going through every single day. Has he apologised? If not, he needs to.

Longest, sorry to hear about the sick one.

NC4, you wrote it for me about drinking and being down (chicken and egg scenario).

Molly, you did 40 days!!!!! And even if you hadn't done a single day, you would not be shit. 💐 You are, like the rest of us, wading through some difficult stuff.

Anglaise, I'm really sorry about your back. I hope it mends soon.

I am battling through the evening AF by the skin of my teeth. I had the tiniest taste of defrosted wine (needed it for risotto purposes). Reached for a fresh bottle, but decided to have a Becks Blue instead, in the hope that it might make me feel bloated and less like having a drink. I told myself I could still have a drink if I wanted one later (after Becks and early supper). So here I am, trying to resist. If I can get through the next hour, that will be Day Two over. It will feel like a very long hour, though.

Keep going Dionysa, not long left now. Hop in the bath maybe with a book or MN?

Hope everyone is doing ok this evening, we all seem to have a fair bit on our plates at the moment.

I’m Day 5 today. I have a new routine, it involves making sure I have everything I could possibly need in the house when I get in from work. So a quick grocery shop either at lunchtime or on my way to get DD. No temptation to grab a bottle if I have to go out for cat food later. I also am getting into my pj’s early (like 5 o’clock ), and cooking pretty much straight away. I am also going to bed at the same time as my 7yr old and drinking lots of herbal teas and ‘adult’ cordials.

It’s boring but seems to be working. Hoping to improve my sleep now this head cold is finally starting to clear. I’ve told myself if I’m AF until Friday I can have a bottle to celebrate. Whether I do or not I guess I’ll see on Friday.

Good work Dion and Zoflora. Keep plugging away.

Have procured authentic ancient Celt costume aka tartan pjs from next door neighbour's DD, to be paired with black scarf cloak. Winning at parenting today.

Hope your back gets better soon Anglaise. Backs are the worst as you get no relief even lying down.

Dion have you tried the betting yet?

Zoflora that sounds great. It’s the evening trip to the shop that does for me too.

WW3 in our house tonight. DS2 didn’t do his washing up last night, and as I’m working out of the house I told him he could do it when he got in from school. I came home and it still wasn’t done, so I said I’m not cooking in a kitchen full of pots.
He has come up with every excuse possible, given me earache about exH (it’s all my fault), he hates me, I gave him a ready meal for his tea last night because I’m too lazy to make him a proper meal (hunters chicken and sweet potato fries from the fresh section at Sainsbos).
He’s thrown laundry around etc etc.
Full blown meltdown. But I feel like I can’t back down now. FML. I want this week to be over.
I can’t cope being a full time working, single ASD mum. I feel like an abject failure when so many people can.

NC4 don’t feel like that. For a start how many parents are coping wonderfully well, or are they good at looking like they are? Look at the positives here, you are setting strong boundaries and that is what DS needs. If he is allowed to get away with things like chores you are doing him no favours for later life. He is being a pain in the ass because he can, you are an easy target. I work with children with AN and sometimes they are just being little shits (I say this affectionately) because they want to be, just like any other kid. And sometimes they are sleep deprived and over stimulated and just can’t process. Teenagers are even more fun because they are raging balls of emotion and hormones.

Deep breath and disengage if you can. Make it clear that you can’t cook home made food in a messy kitchen, and try and make him clean up the laundry when he has calmed down a bit.

You are doing really well in some tough circumstances. Be kind to yourself.

nc you aren't shit I promise you. Just keep doing what you are doing and it will all be easier one day than what it would be if you didn't stick to your guns.

flossie I hope your dp is sorry today. Wankerbastard he is.

I felt better today! As you say Anglaisethe birds were singing this morning, it was calm and mild today and spring is just around the corner. I have had a good day workwise, I spent half an hour on the allotment just pottering, ds has been relatively well behaved and I didn't even bite at dd when she was a brat.

She asked me last week could she watch a movement evening after school, tickets were £4. Said yeah no worries. Drops it in tonight it's this friday. 6pm to 9pm, school is 2 miles away and I wouldn't let her walk home at that time of night on her own.

Pointed out she A. Said after school which implies 3.30pm. B. She never said it was Friday C. She never asked for a lift D. We arranged 2 weeks ago that we were going out this friday, few beers and a curry.

So have had miss flouncey knickers flouncing about all over. Until she came down half an hour ago all sweetness and light. She's asked my lovely cousin to pick her up instead . Lovely cousin too lovely to say no.

Not quite sure what to do about it yet. I think it's very cheeky of dd and need to think of a suitable consequence.

But in other news have booked myself onto a work course on 16th feb. I am self employed, make money from matched betting and this course relates to that but is the next level up to what I am doing. It means all day Saturday out of the house, dh having the dcs and generally being a sahp for the day.

I can't fucking wait lol. A full day to be a grown up, talk to grown up people about work stuff, network and mingle and hopefully learn how to make more money.

Failing all that shit there are bacon butties at half time and a social bit at the end so as cousin is driving I can have a gin. .

Thanks lovelies. He’s 13 next week, and with the combo of everything, he’s bound to have his moments.
I left him to it and went for a bath. He made himself a tin of soup and some hot dog sausages. Not ideal, but he won’t starve. Then he called me into his room to say sorry. The kitchen’s still a tip, but he can do it tomorrow.
My mum’s popping round after school tomorrow with his favourite cake to give him a friendly reminder about pulling his weight and being kind to his family.
Good old grandma.

Work thing sounds good Frouby. I want to do a course soon. It’s ace learning new stuff.

Aw NC4, you pulled it out of the bag, well done! He apologised and everything, you raised a good'un.

DH has volunteered to look after DD tomorrow. Am pleased. Perhaps having big strop the other day had an impact after all!

Great stuff Frouby. Y to new stuff. I am learning all about fishing atm.

So much to catch up on after one
Eve! Just checking in quickly before work to say hi and hope all ok - some stressful days yesterday by the sounds of things.

I managed my pub trip fine in the end, drove there and weirdly didn't miss a drink at all, though once I got home I sooooooo wanted one. Thankfully nothing in the house. I totally agree with zoflora about avoiding evening trips to the shops at all cost.

So 3 days AF done now. Thursdays are usually the start of my weekend as I don't work Fridays, so this could be a tough one. DH is out so planning to do some work then early night.....weirdly despite all these early nights I am feeling utterly exhausted each morning, any ideas why?? I had hoped to be springing out of bed!

Right off to get ready, have a lovely day everyone xxxx

NC4, hugs. It sounds as if you all retrieved the situation - but I know from bitter experience that it's horrendous at the time. Three cheers for Grandma, too.

Longest, you do make me laugh. I am glad you have cobbled together a costume. I can't think why you might be learning about fishing, though.

Zoflora, I want a 7 yo as it would enable me to go to bed during the Danger Hours. Instead, I have to hang around for long enough to remove the teenagers' phones. Ugh.

Purple, 3 days is brilliant.

Frouby, work course sounds fab. I think you and I should swap Flouncy 14 yos for a day, just for a bit of variety. Mine was flouncing about something yesterday. I think it might be because I asked her to pick up her wet towels.

I woke up at 4AM, grateful that I was not suffering from Beer Fear. However, I also remembered that I was actually on sodding Day One yesterday (yet again), not Day Two. FML a thousand times over. Day One should not feel so difficult! In my defence, it was the second AF day this week. They just weren't consecutive...

Dion and frouby - you need to give me tips on your flouncy 14yr olds. My dd1 is nearly 13..she goes from being so sweet to becoming a complete cow in milliseconds. How do the work?? What’s the code to getting this right??

NC4 sounds like you’re going through it too. My ds is 21, i found him so lazy and slobbish. Was told it was a boy thing. Then someone really drove me to drink by telling me that boys don’t come out of it til they’re 26!! Deep joy!!

I moderated last night. Half bottle white again. Felt in control a bit more than my usual ‘neck as much as I can til I become numb!’

Hi everyone. Feeling quite good today for the following reasons:

1. I’ve done 3 AF days 😊
2. It’s sunny and
3. I’m off to the hairdressers - Frouby we can we swishy-haired together!

Longest - I hope your DD is feeling better.

NC4 - I think you handled it fine with your DS. Bloody teenagers!!

Anglaise - how’s your back?

Zoflora - I’m glad you’ve found a plan that’s working for you. Keep going.

Dionysa - you’ve still done 2 AF days which is fab!

Hi to everyone else. Have a good day.