A few questions about the adoption process

[Chefpig]

I'm unable to conceive myself and would like to adopt as a single person.

I have a lot to give but there are some doubts I have.

I'm overweight with a history of depression and anxiety. Would this rule me out.

I've heard that the social workers talk to ex partners. My ex of eight years wouldn't speak to them, mainly because he's a twat, hence me leaving him. Would this go against me? One ex, who was with only a few years would offer a glowing review. We're still friends now.

How are you managing your anxiety and depression? Do you have good coping mechanisms that are compatible with raising your potential child and making them feel cared for and understood? It doesn't necessarily rule you out but they need to make sure you'd be able to parent the child even while having a crisis.

About being overweight, it depends how it would impact your parenting, too. I've met overweight adoptive parents who are okay and can run after their children, play with them, etc. and others who haven't been approved until they lost some weight and became more active. You have to model a healthy lifestyle for your child(ren) and they will judge that too.

About exes, it heavily depends on whether you lived with your ex or not, or if at some point you carried out childcare together. They will be interested in why this person doesn't speak to them, but if another ex gives them a good review of your character, that's a very good sign.

Being honest and taking any feedback from SW on board helps a lot, they like to see you're ready to do anything you need to do for your child. If something doesn't seem right don't hesitate to push back when you need to!

Hi @Chefpig

So, speaking as a single overweight adopter...
I was asked to lose weight by an SW who was significantly more overweight than I was.
At that time I was still in the overweight category, now Im in the morbidly obsese category.
You need to be brutally honest with yourself. How overweight are you ( you don't need to tell us) do you think you can run round after a toddler, pick up and carry a baby, get down on the floor to play - and get back up again? Have you tried?
SWs are looking at long term risk, for most of my life I have been chubby, overweight, back to chubby, but I was always reasonably fit and healthy. Now I'm 61 and neither of those things. I don't have any conditions directly related to weight but it is a contributing facto.
8 But my son is an adult.

Being overweight does carry health risks, even if they don't appear until later in life. So be honest with yourself. Do you understand the reasons why you are overweight?
The attitudes of SWs will vary, but be aware that adoption can cause stress on you and if you are an emotional eater like I am, you could end up putting on more weight.
SWs also want to know that you understand what a healthy diet and lifestyle is so you don't pass any poor eating habits on to your child.
It wouldn't do you any harm to try and lose a bit of weight, easier said than done as I know only too well, or at least take steps to demonstrate to SWs that you have a healthy lifestyle.
With regard to anxiety and depression, as the previous poster said, do you have coping strategies, adoption can be very stressful and isolating, particularly as a single adopter.
So the short answer is no, neither exclude you outright, it depends on severity and how you are managing.
SWs are also very used to dealing with exs.
They are mostly interested if you have a child with an ex, but as you don't, I wouldn't worry about it. I wouldn't refer to him as a that.to your SW though 0