Placement order

8 replies

Arnie1980 · 30/03/2023 09:02

Hi all, we have been approved at matching panel yesterday with a little boy. The birth family has opposed the placement order therefore we can’t start intros. We are very worried now this may fall through and the delays this will cause. Worse case scenario been told 6-9 months depending on judge. Just wondering if anyone has been through this and how they coped.

OP posts:

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 30/03/2023 09:58

Are you saying they have matched you before they have a placement order?
That doesn't seem very fair on anyone.

If that is the case I guess you have 2 options: wait, or withdraw from the match and say to come back to you if you still aren't matched as and when the child does actually have a placement order.

Original poster

Arnie1980 · 30/03/2023 10:31

There is a placement order issued last year they have appealed it as we have been identified as adopters.

OP posts:

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 30/03/2023 10:34

Ah I see. That must be really hard for you.
Our BM asked for leave to contest the adoption order, but our DC had been with us 6-9 months already by then, it delayed things but didn't go anywhere.

Original poster

Arnie1980 · 30/03/2023 10:41

We are very worried this will go on and on. Once lo is with us it will be ok because we can concentrate on him and if an ao challenge comes our way then the chances it won’t get very far. This landed just before panel so really feels bittersweet. Chuffed we are approved but in one way it might not happen. We have all the bedroom ready etc

OP posts:

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 30/03/2023 10:49

I'd be worried too. It seems so unfair on both you and the child.

Original poster

Arnie1980 · 30/03/2023 11:00

If we find out this drags on for 6-9 months then we may need to end the match. By the time it could be concluded lo will be another year older. The system is appaling for everyone involved gives false hope tk bf , child is impacted and sadly adopted parents to be are just collateral. Our bubble has been burst not sure what to do to help us cope.

OP posts:

onlytherain · 30/03/2023 12:37

Will PM you

Soph2000 · 24/04/2023 02:52

Bless you 🙏 how old is LO? I don't know but maybe the younger, the more chance of you keeping him...I mean if he doesn't know his bio Mum then ....No missing her (as awful as that sounds).
Some social services are worse than others around England too so it all depends on what worker/ town as social have a lot of input in court.
I managed to keep my LO after BM attempted to oppose. He was nearly two when we got him.

Flip