Baby sleeping arrangements

[UKABC]

Hi. We’ve got a 12 month baby joining our family in a few days. We are still not sure about sleeping arrangements. Basically we have to options: either the baby sleeps in our bedroom, or in a separate bedroom by himself (although I would sleep in the same room for the first month or so or until he is settled). Social workers said that it might be best to put him in his own bedroom as this will minimise disruption for him later on - for example, if he sleeps in our bedroom, we will probably end up moving him to his own bedroom in the next year or so, and this may end up being another shock to him, so probably best to do it now as everything will be new to him. For other people that adopted babies, how did you do it and what’s your advice? Thanks

Where does baby sleep at foster carers?

We adopted our DS at 7 months and he went straight into his own room. It was a small house so we were v close. I think this was best. If they have their own room at foster carers which they may do at 12 months I would say they should go into their own room.

Potentially they may like their own space to regulate and adjust, but I don’t know the science on that...

Also - as you say if you’re going to be sleeping next to them or will react to every waking - I think being in their own room will make it easier for them later on - as otherwise there would be another change v soon down the line or moving room.

Is he in his own room now? My DS came home at 12 months and had been used to sleeping in his own room so he went straight to his own room. I bought a cot in the same colour the fc used and tried to keep things as similar as possible.

Our LO went straight into his own room at 10 months. He'd also been in his own room at FC.

We also had a bed in the room that we could sleep in if needed. (We still have this and it is very much needed nearly 12 months later!) At first the bed was more for us because of having to get up so much. He didn't really care whether we were in the same room or not but now he needs a middle of the night cuddle often so having a bed in with him means we all get sleep.

A lot of people don't bother having baby monitors when the kids get older but I would highly recommend getting a video baby monitor also.

Thanks. He is currently sleeping with the foster carer in her bedroom.

Then I would advise very much your room. Although I haven't yet managed to get the youngest to move out of my bed. This baby has never slept alone, and has just lost everything they've ever known, and night time is scary at the best of times. I would expect to cosleep, or at a minimum be in touching distance.

Our LO went from sharing a room with her foster carers straight into her own room when she came home with us and she struggled with it as it meant the room was too quiet for her. The impact was such that we ended up a cot side for our bed to bring her in with us so we could all get some sleep and some 4 years later she is in with us often by 2am at the latest.

Moving him in a year or so out of your room into his own would be something you have control over and I don't think would be anywhere near as traumatising for him the initial move to live with you.

Ultimately there is no one answer to this question, you have to do what is best for you all as parents that allows you all to get a good night's sleep. I honestly never imagined I'd bedshare with my LO but the reality is that we both get a much better night's sleep because of it which makes life a lot easier during the day.

LO was just under 12 months when he came to live with us in January and he slept in our room as he had slept in his foster carer's room. We moved him into his own room 3 weeks ago now as he had settled in really well and we had found that he tended to sleep better when we were not in the room anyway. I would suggest having LO in with you at first and moving them when you think they are ready - could be a few weeks or months or even a year, but you will know when the timing is right. All the best for the placement! How very exciting for you!

Our LO came to us at 12 months and we had them in our room. That was more for us as worried new frist time parents. We also bad a baby monitor on as well even though they were 8 feet away.

Total overkill :-)

We move them out after 4 months to there own room.

DD was in her foster carer's room. She was 8 months when she came to us and went straight into her own room. We don't have space for a cot, but her foster carer advised putting her in her own room anyway. It's worked out well for us.

We're 5 weeks into placement with a 15 month old, she was still sleeping in Foster carers room so we have kept her sleeping in our room for now, we will move her in a few months probably.

DS1 was 12 months, slept in FCs room but went straight into his own room. DS2 was 10 months and had slept in his own room at FCs and went straight into his own room here. DS1 settled fine from the start sleep wise. DS2 was a little unsettled the first week, stayed in until fell asleep but then left to settle (with me outside the room) and was fine.

I can understand you wanting to be there but adding sleep props like staying in room etc can be really hard to break away from further down the line, and adoption is such an intense process (especially intros) you might need some rest yourself especially in the early days

Our 15 month old was in her own room at fc but we wanted her in a cot in our room initially to help with bonding and make her feel secure and also culturally the uk has separate rooms for babies which me and dh don’t really identify with. It has worked out really well. She sometimes naps in her room on her own and is fine but babies are individuals and different she is calm and a good sleeper. Do what you feel is right there is no right answer. Also to be honest sometimes she crashes out on the carpet so don’t be too precious about where they sleep 😂

Our LO was 6 months and went straight to own room after being in FC's room. We borrowed the Moses basket that he'd slept in and used it in the cot as he was familiar with it. We tested out naps in own room during intros which went well so we did nighttime there too. FC and SW recommended it and we went with it. I'd planned to sleep in the same room for a while but we found it wasn't needed as our LO settled really quickly. Own room worked for our LO but go with what you feel most comfortable with! I'd second what another poster said about baby monitor with video. We were glued to ours at first and still use it now.

How's it going op?

Hi. It’s only been a couple of days, but so far it is going well. We are lucky that he is a very easy baby. At the end we decided to put him in his own bedroom. He’s pretty tired by the end of the day with all the attention he is getting and only wakes up once or twice each night. Maybe in a week or two it will be different. Thanks for asking!