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Adoption

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Life Story Work- Birth Parent putting it together

4 replies

darkriver198868 · 01/12/2017 12:51

Last time I saw my social worker she said she will leave the majority of the life story work to me. How would you feel a BP doing it? I am withdrawing from having my children back and relinquishing them so they can have a good life. I am not an abusive person (every professional is agreed with this) but, struggle with mental health problems and need to get well.

OP posts:
Twogirlsandme · 01/12/2017 14:04

If you can manage it I think it would be lovely for your children to have the information and stories from you.

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 02/12/2017 15:33

It doesn't sound all that appropriate to me.

Surely the SW should be asking for information and photos etc and then putting the book together themselves? The SW is meant to be the 'expert' in what is needed (and why) and how it needs to be presented.

donquixotedelamancha · 02/12/2017 16:12

I think it's great for your birth child's new parents to have lots of info from you. In most cases we get very little. Your choice to relinquish is very different from many BP's choice to harm or neglect their child and I think it's important that the child knows about you and knows they were loved.

All that said, the life story book should not be written by you. It's not a fair thing to ask of you and it's not appropriate to its purpose. I'd have thought a SW actually letting that happen, and then passing it off as their own would put their job at risk- hopefully there will be a SW along to opine. I hope what the SW meant was that they wanted you to contribute.

Give the SW lots of material, be clear with them about what you want the child to know, then let them produce the book. It will be easier for you and get a better outcome. If they do a shit job, then I think you can trust that the adopters will sort it out.

Anxious123 · 04/12/2017 13:38

That sounds like misinformation/a cop out to me - am also a birth mum who relinquished. Yes lots of info/photos/memoribillia from you but it should be put together by social services/a third party

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