Adoption shower before panel?

[CrazyCatLaydee123]

We were matched in September, going to info sharing next week and panel is next month. My besties want to throw me an adoption shower, and because we are not sure of our availability for weekends after panel (soft intros before full intros start in Jan), I suggested the weekend before.
Anyway, DH thinks it's weird and will jinx panel or something. Is it a bit chicken counting?

I wouldn't have done it.

But I wouldn't have a baby shower before birth, either.

I'm not a great preparer in life, and can be a bit superstitious.

I wouldn't do it.....

I would wait until you have everything definitely confirmed and try and squeeze it in before introductions if you really want to do it. Your DH is right, you don't want to jinx it!

We had a wetting the baby's head(ish) party before panel. Our friends wanted to celebrate with us and as you said once we went to panel everything would then move very quickly. It was a gamble- but one we felt we should take to involve our friends in our process, which we made made a conscious decision to do at the start of our process.

Thanks all - we've moved it to the weekend straight after panel. Obviously if they want to start soft intros that weekend then shower can wait, I want to meet them! It will feel much more of a celebration of a certainty, rather than a build up to something that should happen but isn't set in stone yet.

I almost did it.
I decided against a shower at all.

Should have said we had one weekend between matching panel and intros so wouldn't have had time then.

I don't believe in jinx but I would not do it before matching panel.

Re "My besties want to throw me an adoption shower, and because we are not sure of our availability for weekends after panel..."

To be honest it doesn't need to be a weekend, it could be a week night (I think mine was). I would say to your besties, I cannot commit until it is confirmed. As soon as it is confirmed give your besties, or the two best bestesties the dates you are free and ask them to organise it for you, invite whoever etc. And if they cannot find a date when everyone is free, they will just have to find the best possible date for the key people to be there.

YOU should not be organising it as you have enough on your plate already. Unless intros have already started you should have some free time. And even if they have you will have one evening off at least, probably more.

Just my opinion. Otherwise you may not really enjoy the event as the actual matching panel is not 'out of the way', so to speak.

My friends threw me a surprise shower the night before intros began. I had gone to visit my friend for a last relaxing day and when I thought my OH had arrived to pick me up I answered to door to find a group of friends outside. It was lovely.

I had my shower before panel, there was only 8 days between panel and intros and I was working most of that! A friend organised it and it was lovely. If panel had then not approved the match I would have been devastated whether I'd had a shower or not. However everyone is different, just like some people won't set up baby equipment until the baby is safely born. Good luck with it all!

Good luck! (What are "soft intros"?!)

Thanks! Soft introductions is a term they use for just a weekend visit of a couple of hours. Rather than the full on military operation of full introductions.