Looking for courses and advice

[GarethYorke]

Hi all,
My wife and myself are currently being assessed for a special guardianship order in relation to a child who will be just over 1 year old if we are accepted. We currently dont have any children of our own and up till this point had no specific plans to start a family. Neither of us have much experience around children apart from occasional time spent with the children of friends and family members.

I have been looking around the internet for good sources of advice and possible courses to prepare us however most of the things ive found either look like scams or are aimed at expected newborns.

Can anyone here offer advice on good websites, courses and providers or indeed any other good sources of information.
Thanks in advance.

Hello!

If you search for "therapeutic parenting" or "attachment parenting for adopted children" you might find more trustworthy info. Family Futures and PACT are both reputable sources of support and advice. www.familyfutures.co.uk/adoption-training/

If you are looking for parenting advice on the practicalities of suddenly having a 1 year old, everyone has their own favourite but things like "What every parent needs to know" by Margot Sunderland are good, or the NHS page is www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/Pages/services-support-for-parents.aspx with the green tab on the left giving you info on everything from feeding toddlers to what to do if they have a fever!

If you look at the top of the page in the MN Adoption section, there should also be a link to organisations who offer "expert advice in adoption", and those may help too.

I would also push your assessing SW to provide training / funding for training, related to parenting an adopted child. I know you are using the SGO route, but the experience of the actual parenting will have a lot of crossover.

Being a little brutal, as well as the undoubted benefit of a family guardian on retaining continuity for a child, it is also far more economical for the local authority - so if you can, I would get them to write a post-placement support agreement before you start, so you have something to use as leverage if you need to. They may run courses for adopters, and you could ask if you could join those. They may also have a support group for guardians. I hope it all turns out really well for you

Agree with Rather with regard to the SGO and future support. As an adopter you do have some rights for future support which you don't get as the holder of an SGO. Also an SGO is also much cheaper and quicker for a local authority to do so they may have chosen this route for their needs rather than the ongoing needs of you and your lo.

Agree with Rather about sources of info and support.

www.children1st.org.uk/kinship-care

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/relationships/children-and-young-people/kinship-care-s/

kinshipcarers.co.uk/Financial-Support.php

corambaaf.org.uk/info/kinship-care-and-special-guardianship

Thank you for the information. Will be looking into all of it.

Gareth - i note that you didnt have any plans to start a family before this happened. Please know that you are not under any kind of obligation to take this baby if you don't feel it's right for you as a couple . It's easy to feel guilty , especially if there's pressure from your extended family .

There are lots of families approved and waiting RIGHT NOW for a 12 month old. If you cant take her/ him, they will not wait long before being placed with adopters .

There's nothing wrong with saying no because you don't want kids right now or ever, or because you woudl rather have a baby born to you .

So please take time to decide if this is what you both want .

Hi Kr1stina. Thanks for the reply. Just to expand on what i said above. While we hadnt made any plans for children we where not closed to the option and we certainly were not trying to prevent the possibility. We are more than happy to take on the child. Our concern is more about our own lack of knowledge or experience. The child situation up til this point has not be great and we want to make sure they have the best future ahead.

That's great, I hope it works out for you.

I'm that case the main thing is for you and your wife to work on attachment and don't worry about anything else . Like what other kids are doing at 14months. Or meeting developmental targets. Or what your health visitor tells you . Or most things that biological parents tell you.