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Adoption

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Original poster

Social worker visits

16 replies

ac73 · 20/10/2016 22:20

Just wondered what people's experiences were of post placement social worker visits (the children's social worker). Did you find them helpful?

OP posts:

dibly · 20/10/2016 22:37

If by helpful you mean did they minimise every concern you had, sit there drinking tea while your child (distressed by the SW presence) acted out, offer useless advice and write very vague notes, then yes, really helpful!

To be fair I think we were particularly unlucky and there must be some good ones out there, but ours was a total waste of time and energy.

Original poster

ac73 · 20/10/2016 22:43

Mmm, sounds similar to my experience but no note taking and didn't really ask me anything. Apart from checking the children are okay which I guess they have to do, it just felt like a waste of time which caused the kids to worry :(

OP posts:

PoppyStellar · 20/10/2016 23:15

Yep, I'm afraid I had the same negative experience too and felt they were a waste of time. They used to unsettle DD quite a lot, particularly as her social worker was obsessed with seeing her bedroom on every visit. I have no idea why.

Then there was the time she turned up with DDs coat that had been left at foster carers about 6 months earlier and that REALLY unsettled DD (and made me apoplectic with rage at the insensitivity of it quite cross). Thankfully I think that was the final visit.

The only thing I can say is that the visits do stop eventually.

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 21/10/2016 11:25

Ours was lovely and our elder DD, age 8, liked seeing her.

It was helpful as the SW could go over again with DD why contact was what it was, and ensure that DD wasn't seeing us as the bad guys keeping her from her BM.

DD2 was age 2-3 and was oblivious, didn't seem to make any difference to her at all.

RatherBeIndoors · 21/10/2016 12:50

Visits from my SW: brilliant, massively supportive, full of good ideas, helpful at referring to other support where needed. Still miss her!
Visits from LO's SW: useless. She didn't have any questions, she couldn't answer any questions, and when she came back each time she'd forgotten what she promised to find out the time before. Sigh. Also useless when attending multi-disciplinary health stuff "to support us" as often got LO's health details wrong. Agh.

Kr1stina · 21/10/2016 13:13

Same as everyone above. Useless waste of my time and public money and upsetting to LO

flapjackfairy · 21/10/2016 16:39

It must be a box they have to tick now Poppy as i have a long term fc (been with us 9 yrs) and his sw always looks at his bedroom (even though it always looks the same). She even looks at his clothes in wardrobe once in a while! I hate it ! Esp as cupboards not always that organised. Ah the delights if being a fc !

luckylucky24 · 21/10/2016 17:08

We have been lucky. Lo stat review happened on our second week home with her which means we only have to see lo SW every 6 weeks and ours will come as frequent halfway between (so someone comes every 3 weeks). So far I haven't found it much use and found it quite frustrating that they kept asking if we felt a bind developing ("because it is okay if not").
When they asked at the review if we waned the visits to be more frequent we said no!

endofacentury · 21/10/2016 17:14

I'm a fc and adopter and SW's always ask to see bedrooms. In fact some of them I think feel a bit awkward about it and sometimes ask to use the bathroom and then have a quick peek in kids bedroom at same time.
Once when I had an unannounced visit SW wanted to look in my bedroom, I said no as I hadn't made the bed to be perfectly honest! But also didn't see why she needed to go in there, when I asked why, she said it was in case I had a cannabis factory or something in there!! Erm ok then lol.

JustHappy3 · 22/10/2016 08:49

Loved having our social worker visit. Got on with her extremely well and it felt like she was there to support us and our new dd. I actually looked forward to her coming around. And yes she asked to see the rooms but why on earth wouldn't she? Duty of care and all that.

Italiangreyhound · 22/10/2016 23:59

ac73 our social worker and our LO's social worker were really lovely and I found their visits fine. Our son was not distressed and actually liked his social worker.

I recognize my situation is rare and you may not experience this but be open to the fact they may be nice, potentially a little helpful and they do not last forever.

There is a chance your LO's social worker has met birth parents and certainly (hopefully) knows foster carers so they might be a source of information and generally if they are nice and you get on OK it can be quite pleasant to have a visitor when you are in 'lock down' at home in the early days.

tinks269 · 23/10/2016 11:25

We are in the minority too as we quite enjoy seeing both sws.

Ours has been amazing through the whole process and is so supportive. She just gets us as a couple, individuals and parents.

Our son's is lovely and as Italian said has contact with some of his siblings and bends over backwards for him and us.

The meetings can be annoying as they take a chunk of a day away and as lo is at school and we work they are days we would normally spend doing something but in general they pass easily enough.
Having read things on here and other forums I am aware of how lucky we are.

MintyLizzy9 · 24/10/2016 14:21

I didn't find visits to be of much use, even more so if they rocked up at bedtime which they knew threw DS off for the entire night and the rest of the week. It was mainly chit chat as well, nothing really important.

I stopped making them feel so comfortable in the end so no tea and biscuits and a brisk ooh look at the time we must be heading to playgroup!

My SW explained that legally they are supposed to check the bedroom on every visit to ensure all is in order for all LAC and pre AO children. She said they just look to see there is a suitable bed and bedding and nothing obviously dangerous.

Thankfully we are past the stage of having a SW so no more visits yippee!

I did call in to the office to collect DS shockingly shite life story book the other week.....his old SW was surprised I hadn't brought him to say hello and remained surprised that I hadn't brought him even after I reminded her that his ENTIRE birth family all lived within a five minute walk of the SS office that happens to be bang in the middle of the shopping centre that they all use most days and that various birth family members are likely to be in and out of the SS office! Not sure if she expected me to put him in a comedy wig and balaclava or just risk it! He's certainly grown up a bit but it's less than a year since they last saw him so he hasn't changed that much!

Maiyakat · 24/10/2016 21:15

DD really struggled with settling to sleep at the start of placement. Her SW's advice - 'oh don't ask me about sleep, I can't get my own kids to sleep!' So I didn't ask anything else. Thank goodness for you lovely lot!

Original poster

ac73 · 24/10/2016 21:51

Ours is new to the children so wasn't involved in matching or introductions. I just didn't find it useful and the kids were unsettled by it. Hey, ho...

Glad some of you have had positive experiences. Thanks all.

OP posts:

bostonkremekrazy · 25/10/2016 15:34

We found the visits fine. Also had the bedroom check but no big deal....nice to hear some sw take their job seriously and do the checks they are meant to do-for fc particularly. We found it was a good way to keep up with news of bm and siblings placed elsewhere if nothing else!

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