What to say to to the school

[Thefishewife]

Little one had parents evening and she is behind slightly and her wellbeing has gone from a 4 to a 2-3 not really sure what's behind it

We had adopted a 2nd child however that was 7 months ago now and she's only been low this term they have said
She presents at school quite and compliant
I must add though she is totally Diffrent at home I know this sounds mean but she has always been a bit of a moaner and not very happy camper

A lot of its out of insecure attachment she follows me round and it's very anxious I got a meeting after half term

They are putting her on a IEP

Any advice or thoughts

Well feel she's getting more settled at nursey and possibly becoming more her self

Hi - how old is she? And do nursery know that she is adopted and that she has a new sibling?

She is nearly 4 and yes they know about the sibling has been with us for 7 months

How long has she been with you?

Thefishewife in one sense being compliment at school and more difficult at home is quite normal but it seems that your dd has some issues which are potentially not being addressed or needs that are not being met.

Please do not feel bad about this, all our kids have needs we cannot meet all the time but I think working on developing this attachment is key.

Please do not worry that she is slightly behind, this is not something to pay too much attention to at this young stage IMHO and if she picks up from the nursery leader or you that she is slightly behind this could lead to anxiety on her part.

My best advice is to talk to your adoption authority for post adoption support and see what they can offer for her. We have had attachment help from our local authority and our son is now having theraplay.

Our son has always been quite emotional and the theraplay is really helping him a lot. It is totally suitable for young children and ds thinks of it just as play, he has no idea it is helping him, but it is.

He is less overly emotional than he was.

In about 6 months (since we started the theraplay) I think his overly emotion responses have decreased by approximately a third. This is massive. He had been with us two years when we started theraplay and the overly emotional side had not really changed much in those 2 years, other things had, improved for the better for him, but not that.

I would really recommend professional help for this, to help your little girl to feel more secure.

Good luck.

PS, "A lot of its out of insecure attachment she follows me round and it's very anxious I got a meeting after half term"

Who is the meeting with OP? The school?

I hadn't really picked up that the conversation you were thinking of having was part of a meeting. So may I ask, who called the meeting, you or the school? And what has already been said?

Please remember, Thefishewife, whatever is decided at any meeting must be in little one's best interests and not simply to make life easier for the school. I am sure you know that but I fear sometimes schools know very little about attachment, despite the fact they may say they know about looked after children etc!