Another letterbox issue

[setsailonacloud]

Hi all...feeling some really complicated emotions about something to do with letterbox and I really hope I won't get shot down for asking for advice.

In short, I adopted DC over a year ago and did one letter to birth mother, This was before I learned from DC's own mouth that some pretty scary and soul-destroying things had happened to DC at the hands of BM. To cut a long story short, I was advised by professionals to stop letterbox for the time being (btw despite initially agreeing to LB, BM later refused). I am looking into adopting again, but SW's have been making noises about LB being on hold.

Obviously my DC is my priority, full stop. I will 'jump through the hoops' in terms of my own life, but I won't regarding my DC. But I was wondering whether anyone had been in this situation before? All rather disheartening...

Are you saying that childs SW's are suggesting you start letterbox again? Or that new adoption sw's are unhappy that you have stopped letterbox contact with DC1?

If the first then I would point out that BM has refused letterbox contact. I would consider how you child feels about you writing to BM taking into account their age - if it makes them feel uncomfortable then I would stick to no contact, if they are too young to have an opinion thats reliable or if they don;t mind then I would send general letters annually with little detail.

If the second then I would say you were prepared to have contact but that professional advised that it stop.

I'm not sure how helpful that is sorry!