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Adoption

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Calling us mum and dad

26 replies

Kazza299 · 09/01/2015 05:53

We started intros yesterday at last Smile 2 gorgeous chatty boys.
Dh and I were very nervous and initially referred to each other as our forenames. The kids, who were clearly unsure what to call us, latched on to that. I feel annoyed with myself for not being more confident as I really wanted to be 'mummy' but I am hoping, and this where I need some advice/support, that they will call us m and d in due course.
Ideally we'd have a conversation about it but both boys (aged 4 and 7) were not ready to talk about future. They were friendly and chatty but very much in the now. Is this normal? It's only day one but I'm a bit of an analyser!

OP posts:
TrinnyandSatsuma · 20/01/2015 07:09

We weren't known as mummy and daddy until 3 months into placement. It happened naturally and at our sons pace. At times I thought it would never happen, but given time, it did. And when it did, it had real meaning and was so, so special :-)

We began by explaining we were his forever family, how that was different to foster carers etc. Gradually we began referring to ourselves as his parents, then referring to each other as mummy or daddy. "Daddy made a nice tea tonight" "can you give that to mummy please" etc. Then we were occasionally mummy Trinny, daddy satsuma etc. We did same with Grandma Janet, Granny Jane (not their names obv)

We didn't feel it was right to push it until he was ready as he was nearly 5 when he arrived. Also, his blueprint of what mummy and daddy was, was not a good one and we suspected that would contribute to some reluctance to see us in that role.

Now, if I hear the words "mummy?" once, I hear it a million times a day!!

Give it time. It's very early days. It will happen when it feels right for them I'm sure.

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