What to ask?

[imkeepingeverythingcrossed]

I've been searching through as I'm sure I'd seen this topic before, but can't find it. So we have sw coming for a visit soon of potential lo we have been matched too along with our sw. What questions should we be asking? Should I make some cake or food? It's a early morning visit. Will the want to be looking around? I think I'm a bit nervous. Please any advice much appreciated. Thanks xx

When I had my visit it was first thing in the morning so I made Welsh cakes as I thought that they were right for that time of day.

In my case I was the only adopter being considered and it felt as thothe first things you neegh the meeting was very much about me finding out about him and getting the information I needed to make a decision. So I guess one of the things to check is whether they're looking at any other prospectives. His sw seemed v confident in the match on paper. She had a look around - his room was still set up as a spare then and I didn't have stairgates etc.then but she was happy with that.

Most of my questions were based on his CPR.FC report and medical. I also asked about what support his BP were receiving, plans for contact, who else I would have the opportunity to meet. If you look on Adoption UK's website there is a massive list of suggested questions under resources.

Best of luck

Thank you dimples. Yes we're the only ones being considered. I had a few questions in mind but will go and look over there too. (Also off to google welsh cakes ) thank you. Xx

Oh I can second that - we met child's SW in a room that ended in an enormous dust sheet, with builders working on the other side of that sheet (we asked them to take a quick break while we spoke). They were actually quite interested and took a look around at our project once we were done, and certainly weren't put off by it.

In addition to the suggestions above, I'd say, ask about proposed timeframes. So you know what they are thinking. Are they planning to get back to you within days, or weeks, or maybe 'when they get round to it' i.e. in a month or two? If they do want to go ahead with you, when do they think you could go to panel? Or if it is a FtA thing, when do they think placement could start? When will you be able to speak to medical advisor, legal advisor, foster carer? When can you expect to see medical report (if not already)?
That type of thing.

Oh and what I would NOT mention: If you have been googling the birth family/checking them out on Facebook. Some SWs are funny about that, will call it a breach of trust, and reject you on that basis alone. Also if you are considering changing the child's name. Again, whereas many SWs totally understand that changing the name is a case-by-case decision, for some it is a total and absolute no-no and just the fact that you'd even consider it, will make them deem you unsuitable to adopt.
Also I know of cases where matches were rejected because the prospective adopters 'didn't appear committed enough'. So if you have questions that need answering in order for you to definitely make up your mind, try to phrase them in a way that it sounds as if you were simply asking in order to be better prepared, rather than in order to make a better informed decision.

Expect to be reminded that nothing is guaranteed yet and you are totally dependent on SW's goodwill. Not always the case obviously, but some SWs seem to really enjoy the power they have in this type of situation and like to make you squirm and beg.