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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

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Original poster

Gift ideas for a colleague going on adoption leave?

14 replies

bohoec · 02/12/2014 12:35

Much admired, well liked colleague is going on a adoption leave before Christmas, to adopt a five year old little boy. We're all absolutely thrilled for her and I want to get her a really useful, appropriate gift.

My DCs are younger, so any ideas on what might make a good gift would be gratefully received!

Thanks

OP posts:

islurpmyspaghetti · 02/12/2014 13:57

What a lovely sentiment, bohoec, and so thoughtful to seek out advice on here. If the money will stretch, have you thought about annual zoo membership or annual membership to a local kid friendly museum or attraction? It's lovely to have access to somewhere to go as a new family.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 02/12/2014 13:59

What about a really.nice Scrapbook to start making memories together?

slkk · 02/12/2014 15:24

My colleagues did me a baby shower type thing except with gifts appropriate for a 3 year old. It was so lovely as I wasn't expecting anything. As well as toys (think bubbles, Lego, books, cars, jigsaw, balls, bath toys etc) I received some vouchers which were really useful as we didn't know what ds would be bringing with him til he came. But most of all I was touched that people wanted to give gifts and celebrate his arrival like a new baby.

Jameme · 02/12/2014 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buster510 · 02/12/2014 15:54

My work friends got little bits and bobs such as bath bubbles and stories. Both very useful and books still in use a year later :) (he was 4).

mortil2 · 02/12/2014 16:01

What a lovely idea. The idea of a 'baby shower' sounds wonderful.
Lego is always very popular in my opinion

GrimbleGrumble · 02/12/2014 19:09

Lovely that you are thinking of her. It's difficult to know what her child will bring so vouchers are great - whereas they might sometimes feel like low effort I think for adopters buying things for the long awaited child is such a treat you are almost giving a double present. I was thrilled with John lewis vouchers from my colleagues as I could never afford to shop there and I loved going and picking something fab for dd once she'd arrived and I knew what she'd really like. The best present of all though was my colleagues being really supportive before and after dd arrived.

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 02/12/2014 21:30

We were given stuff for the girls.

I particularly remember

paint pots (still used 7 years on)
"I don't like peas" book

Lego may require better fine motor skills than the boy has (children from care are often behind in things).

I'd go for generic crafty stuff, or slightly easier construction, or cars.

Or bubble bath, luxury adult chocolate, takeaway vouchers (do such things exist?)

Original poster

bohoec · 02/12/2014 22:58

Thanks everyone for your suggestions! It didn't even seem like a question for me - We absolutely want to get them a gift, but as pp have said not knowing what the little boy will already have, or developmental stage he's at, it's difficult to know what.

I'll do some research on memberships to local family friendly attractions and get them some vouchers. That seems to be the consensus!

I'm so excited for them! I cried when she told me they'd been approved at panel and it was all happening - such an amazing, wonderful thing.

Thanks again for your suggestions!

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 02/12/2014 23:05

to be perfectly frank bohoec anyone who made any effort to buy me and/or DS anything made me cry. One of the things which becomes apparent very quickly is that if people don;t know what to do/buy then they just ognore it (I guess hoping it will kind of go away!).

One thing that nonbody got me and I did feel a bit silly minding that no-one did, was a bunch of flowers for me. Those who bought did get DS lovely presents but people think that because you're adopting you don;t feel all those overwhelmed and excited feelings that someone with a newborn does - but you do.

I loved mothercare vouchers by the way but local attractions membership is also a very good idea.

Kewcumber · 02/12/2014 23:05

Or a cinema giftcard as he's 5 - perhaps make sure that you can use them in the kids club...

slkk · 03/12/2014 00:21

Yes you can now get early learning centre toys from mothercare. Had a great time spending my vouchers in their sale.

trafficjam · 03/12/2014 15:24

Kew, we also experienced the "oh shit, don't know what to do so ignore it" people. It was a real eye opener - some people I barely knew took time to get me cards, gifts, send emails e.g.. then others I thought I knew well seemed slightly embarrassed and couldn't quite figure out how to say "congratulations" and keep eye contact.

Kewcumber · 03/12/2014 17:26

If it makes you feel any better I lost a friend by adopting! Reasonably good friend - I was going through unsuccessful IVF at the same time as she suffered a miscarriage so we had several in depth conversations about our hopes and fears and current troubles. She knew I would carry on to adoption if IVF failed finally and I knew that she had decided not to try again.

Then when I was approved and expecting to travel within a couple of months I sent her a note saying I was due to leave within a month to adopt DS and I never heard from her again. That was nearly 9 years ago! And I know it was linked to the adoption as she met up with a mutual friend and when asked if she knew about the adoption replied "Yes but I didn't know what to say"!!!! So she would rather drop me completely than make a comment like "congratulations" or "Good luck".

It was bizarre.

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