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Adoption

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Original poster

Child's social worker is coming!.. Help!

17 replies

Swizzle99 · 07/08/2014 22:03

So, after waiting for what seems like forever - the social worker of a prospective child is coming to visit us.

I am really excited because this is obviously what we have been waiting and hoping for but now I am also terrified!

What should I exspect?! I know that the social worker and family finder are coming out to 'interview' us and see if we are the best possible match for LO but what will they be looking for?

Our social worker is also going to attend the meeting so I am feeling a bit daunted at the thought of having 3 social workers in our house! For those of you who have been through this stage of the journey what can I exspect to happen? What questions do they normally ask? Will they look around the house and at LO's room?

Any advice or experiences from you guys would be much appreciated! Xx

OP posts:

slkk · 07/08/2014 23:56

They probably will want to look around and they should have read about you so may ask a few questions about your life that they think might impact on the new child. They will also ask you why you are interested in this particular child and talk about your lifestyle etc. It should be pretty informal and if they are coming to see you it means they are interested. Good luck!

Italiangreyhound · 08/08/2014 00:20

Try not to worry, I am sure it will be fine. Relax and let your natural personality come through.

When we had the meeting at our house are dd arrived downstairs with puppets and stated putting on a puppet show from behind the sofa! I was really worried it would look odd and tried to get her to sit down normally but the social workers all took it in their stride and just asked her questions as she did the puppets!

I am not suggesting you put on a puppet show! I just think as slkk says "... if they are coming to see you it means they are interested."

Good luck.

HappySunflower · 08/08/2014 08:02

They will want to look round your home yes, and to see the child's room.
You might be asked questions about facilities and services for children in your local area, and how long you are planning to take off work/ what your plans on return might look like.

Buttonheart · 10/05/2015 11:03

Hi,
I'm totally new and completely in this position.

We aren't at matching panel for another week but have a child's social worker, the family finder and our social worker over this week about a potential match. I'm completely stressing, working out what I need to have done in advance, what they will ask, and scarily if they are meeting any other potential families...

If you've had the three social worker inquisition, what did they ask, how did it go, how long did it take to hear their thoughts and how am I going to stay calm between now and when they arrive?!

MyPreciousRing · 10/05/2015 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherearth1990 · 10/05/2015 18:05

Your SW should be able to tell you whether there are any other families being considered.

You know we had so many questions, we focused on reading and re-reading the CPR and writing a list questions as you do tend to forget in the heat of the moment. We were worried it would come across as an interrogation or that we were negative but this was our chance to ask and iron out every niggle we had. They saw this a positive that we were going into it with our eyes open and not desperate for any child.

So remember that it's a two way thing, just as much for you to get to know all about LO as it is for SW to get to know you.

Be honest, and be yourselves, it's all you can do. Good luck.

Ps I cleaned like crazy before they came but they barely looked at the house, just interested in where LO would sleep.

Buttonheart · 11/05/2015 13:29

Thank you for your quick responses, clarity and calmness

We have a massive list of questions and the cleaning is becoming obsessive!!

Two way thing. I must remember that. We've been so calm and confident until now, none of the process has fazed us but this...!! I'll be so glad when they arrive.

I'm going to email my social worker and check re: other families.

LeahLeah · 11/05/2015 13:36

Don't worry, just be you xx I've never fostered/adopted but I do have experience with social services. Don't clean like crazy, whatever you do. Children need a family home not a show home. Just keep it as clean and tidy as you usually do, check for any potential hazards to a child blah blah....
And just be YOU. No such thing as a perfect mom/family and SS will know when you're trying too hard. They want to see 'real' and not staged, no matter how tempting it may be. Don't know how to calm your nerves either, I would probably clean like a freak too, and want everything perfect xxx whatever will be, will be, hey? Good luck xxx

MyPreciousRing · 11/05/2015 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ineedsunsunshine · 11/05/2015 22:42

I agree with Leah. I know it's not easy but try and relax and be yourself and you'lol be fine. From my experience it was all about the children and them giving us more info. Some nice tea and cake always goes down well. They will know you are nervous and excited and take into consideration. You are one step closer. I'm sure it will go well. It helps that you have been calm and confident up to this point as well.

Buttonheart · 12/05/2015 12:48

Thank you, your kind thoughtful words really calmed me yesterday and we've now heard we are the only family they are considering so I've calmed again. Tea and cake is on the list, cleaning has receded from epic levels and maybe, just maybe we might manage to relax and enjoy it! I'll keep you posted

MyPreciousRing · 12/05/2015 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

researchbookworm · 13/05/2015 12:53

Have you had your meeting yet Button? I was confused by what you said about matching panel being in a week - was it a typo and actually approval panel? If so I am very impressed/jealous - we have had to wait 10 months since our approval panel for that illusive meeting with a prospective child's SW!

LeahLeah · 14/05/2015 18:13

You've calmed since you found out you were the only family??? OMG I would be screaming my head off lol x
When are they coming? I'm soooooooooooo exited for you!!

Buttonheart · 15/05/2015 21:46

So much news! Researchbookworm I'm sorry I meant approval panel - having a quick typing slow brain moment!!

They came, they were lovely and had no real questions for us. They'd read our PAR and seemed to have made their minds up. We asked a lot and learnt a lot. They also left their CPRs etc with us. Two and a half hours of the social workers and we were exhausted!

We got the call today to say that they want to proceed. We'd slept on it and emailed our worker this morn. It's sibling blues. After panel on Monday we are going to look at planning. Honestly though we are floating on some cloud somewhere!! They said it was my ability to have 2+ years off and our location that set us apart. They brought a short film clip and lists from the blues on what they'd love in their new family. What. A. Few. Days!!!

MyPreciousRing · 16/05/2015 11:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buttonheart · 16/05/2015 12:26

mypreciousring I wish!! Approval is this Monday so we're planning the timescale on Monday afternoon. It was mentioned mid June for matching panel but I'm not taking that as a given yet with lots to do before then. Really not managing to tame my excitement...it feels too simple but I'm not letting that dampen our happiness!

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