How long did you wait before you applied to formally adopt your DCs?

[Hels20]

Hi - just wondered how long people waited before they put in the formal adoption application?

I know you can apply after DC has lived with you for 10 weeks but just trying to gauge how long you waited - and what reasons were that you formalised adoption when you did.

We have been asked to wait until second LAC review. Is this normal?

Thanks

Being asked to wait for the second review is very normal, the agency want to be sure that they've seen everything is going well etc. DS's LA definitely asked that I not put papers in before the second review.

I chose to wait longer for all 3 adoptions, although I didn't wait very long for DS, who was adopted 11 months after he came home.

I waited the longest with DD2, because of her special needs and need for emotional and behavioural support. I waited until we had a package of support in place, therapy sorted etc. That was very important to me, as even though her and my LA were supportive, I still thought it would be easier to get everything she needed if she was still in LAC. Everyone support me waiting. She came to me in March 2004 and we finalised at the end of April 2006.

DD1 came home in August 1996 and was adopted in April 1998

So 20 months, 2 years 1 month, 11 months! Big difference, but DS didn't need a lot of post adoption support etc, so there was no advantage to waiting, and in fact finalising made everyone feel secure

DCs have been home since mid September, and I'm not ready yet. DD is about to start some lifestory work which I'm sure will turn us upside down for a while, so I don't expect to do it in the near future. Twice I have had SWs ask me pointedly what is stopping me - I'm sure they'd love to get us signed and sealed, but I'm not in the right place yet. I think I'll know when I am. I also know I'm in a much stronger position to advocate for the support we need, before the order. The only thing which would make me do it before I feel ready is if DCs feel insecure, and DD who is oldest just understands she's already adopted and here forever so it's not an issue atm.

Im watching this with interest. Our dd came home 10 weeks ago and our SW was pushing us to petition court straight away but we've decided to wait until we are both happy. We're having some bonding issues we need support with and it all feels a little rushed tbh. SW was fine though and coming to visit us in a few weeks.

Our elder DD was 8. We had to wait 9 months before we could apply (ie the LA would not have supported the application before that). That was in fact early as it was all going well, they said for that age they usually preferred 1 year.

Easier to get support before adoption order than after.

No advantage now in waiting wrt applying for school places.

DD1 was more settled after it was finally sorted though, she really knew it was final then.

Thanks for all your posts. Our DS doesn't have many major issues and we see no reason to wait but will probably put our adoption application in at about the 20 week mark.

We applied at the 10 weeks and one day mark - our SW wa very lovely about it and did have a little chat to make sure we were certain. At that point we were adamant that the AO was a legal process only as DD was already our daughter and we would have done anything to make sure she stayed in our family. (I'm tempted to make a joke about even going on the run abroad, but given recent events ...)

I should have also said: one of our prep group waited for nearly a year before applying in order to make sure that she got the necessary assurances on therapeutic support for her DD. She felt it was her only "bargaining chip", being able to walk away (even though she would never have actually done that).

Like many others have stated, DH & I are also waiting until we have recieved all of the support, training & therapies we feel we (well mainly me as DH works away a lot) need. Thus far we have recieved none at all, not even prior to DS placement, I am pushing for this so won't formally apply until it has been recieved.

We would have done it as soon as we were able but our SWs asked us to wait so that they could make sure that all the therapies and PAS had agreed funding and that it was formalised and documented to continue afterwards. At the time we were having Theraplay, and later on I had a buddy and have been having counselling too so there was a lot that they were paying for that we wanted to continue to pay for!

So in the end it was about 11 months from introductions to putting in our application and then another 3 months to the formal adoption.