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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

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Original poster

Pet chat

14 replies

Italiangreyhound · 17/02/2013 02:11

Hi experienced adoptive parents, a quick question, please.

Our beloved hamster died and we are looking at the possibility of another pet. I think it'll be a budgie. Kind of interested in a cat but probably not. Is there anything to be benefitted from either getting the pet before a new child joins our family or waiting until after?

We are on the journey and don't expect a new child to join us (assuming we are approved) before the end of the year, and it seems a long time to wait for a pet but am scared that maybe the pet will end up being a problem!

I know that some children might have problems with animals so just curious to see what people think?

Thanks so much.

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Domjolly · 17/02/2013 09:30

We have a cat therlow maintenance fab with children though you do have to choose the breed we have a RAGDOLL which is very docile likes being picked up and sleeps 20 hours a day

If i was you i would wait i no its a long time but some sw REALLY hate animals and why had more potential issues to adopting wait until the chikds place to be honest once a chikds place you may ind having a pet also to much

Lilka · 17/02/2013 14:27

On the other hand, some SW's love animals and think kids really benefit from them

Honestly, just do what's best for you all right now. If you really want a pet now, get one. I know very little about budgies but I don't think most SW's would be at all worried about a small bird in a cage.

If you as a family love animals and like having them around then you'd have to think carefully about persuing a match with a child that has known issues with animals. There;'s a pissbility you wouldn't know until the child was home but that's something you have to cross if it happens, try not to overly worry about that at this point

I didn't have any pets going through the process (although I do love cats and did have one many years ago) but we got Gerbils last year and it's going well so far. I can't think of any major advantages or disadvantages of getting the animal either before or after move in. Although getting it before means you only have to put up with one childs insane naming suggestions, rather than two

Original poster

Italiangreyhound · 17/02/2013 15:32

Thanks Lilka that's fab.

Thanks for your thoughts too, Domjolly.

We had a lot of pets during our childhood, guinea pigs, fish, cats, gerbils and hamsters over a about a 10 year period from about 7 to 17. My DD loves animals a lot and I feel it is a nice thing to have. She really wants a dog but we are not able to have a dog really so other pets are possibles.

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FamiliesShareGerms · 17/02/2013 16:18

I think this is an example of how you can't put your life on hold during the adoption process. If you want to get a pet now, get one now and cross the bridge of a potential match being allergic or phobic if it arises.

FWIW, one of the things that helped DD settle in, especially in the very early days, was our pets. She had always had animals around in her FC's house, and loves them dearly.

Original poster

Italiangreyhound · 17/02/2013 16:42

Thanks Families we are not big on pets but having one would be nice, or two!

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Kerrigan90 · 19/02/2013 17:18

I asked a family friend, who is on the LA foster panel, if getting a puppy would have a negative impact on adopting/fostering. Her thoughts were it is quite a good move as it shows you have commitment to caring, training and dedicating a lot of time! Domjolly has a good point however about it may be too much as my god I didnt have a clue how hard and challenging having a puppy would be!! What about tropical fish, low maintenance once it's set up (but can turn into bit of a science project) and so pretty and relaxing to look at. My friend has a tank with star fish, shrimp and clown fish.

Moomoomie · 19/02/2013 22:19

I think it would be very difficult and not particularly fair on you daughter to talk about getting another pet, then say to her, maybe we will wait until we have adopted. The process is going to be difficult enough for her as it is.
A new pet for her would help her to understand about caring for another living thing. It could be her pet, that she names all by herself.

Original poster

Italiangreyhound · 19/02/2013 23:47

Kerrigan and moomoomie thanks for your thoughts.

DD is still upset about hamster so no new pet until she is over the last one. I don't want to replace one with another. If you know what I mean. But I am getting budgie fever!!

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Original poster

Italiangreyhound · 20/02/2013 23:05

Trying to persude DH that we can have a dog!

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Kerrigan90 · 21/02/2013 00:30

Do you have a favourite breed you would get? We got a cocker spaniel pup about 6months ago. She's a little cracker now but so much work to tame some behavioural issues! Roll on when she's a little older ha. It was so hard it almost tipped me over the edge and really did make me question if I have it in me to be a mother (deciding on ivf with donor egg or adoption). But my friends assure me a pup is harder than any child!

It's really rewarding and livens the house up, get a dog!!!

KristinaM · 21/02/2013 10:15

I think getting a small caged animal or bird now would be fine. It could easily be another year of more before you have a child placed and its unfair on your Dd to have to wait.

Small pets are less likely to arouse the prejudice of social workers ( approving or placing ) and during matching you can say that you would get rid of the pet if it was a problem. But it's very unlikely to be . As lilka says, you can cross that bridge when you come to it

Happyasapiginshite · 21/02/2013 11:08

We have a dog and it wasn't an issue at all with the sw, who didn't like dogs herself. She did ask what we would do if the child we got was afraid or if the dog was aggressive with the child would we get rid of him.

As it happens, the dog is terrified of dd and we have to be very careful not to let them get too close without supervision, so it's not as easy as I expected it to be. I think it would have been easier if dd hadn't come to us as a toddler, iyswim. If she was an immobile baby, he would have had time to get used to her before she started moving around the place. I'm hoping that when dd gets a bit bigger that he'll stop being afraid of her. He used to be afraid of my friend's toddler but now she's bigger (5) he loves her. Just be careful what breed you get.

I agree with everyone here - don't put your life on hold. If you want a pet, get one now for your dd (but you do know that you'll be the one who does the walks and the poop-scooping, don't you??)

Ladyofthehouse · 04/03/2013 20:08

Dog here too and no problems with adoption - our SW was a dog person and loved her!

You just need to show how you've thought through the interaction with DC. we have a cocker spaniel and she is great with the DC. Our eldest could be slightly over motherly with her sister - trying to feed her, change her nappy etc and it has really helped with moving this feeling over to the dog - she fills her water bowl up and gives her a biscuit each evening.

And after a long day with new children I can definitely recommend the walk as a bit of valuable me time while DH puts kids to bed!! Theres nothing like it for clearing the mind ready for another day!!

Original poster

Italiangreyhound · 05/03/2013 21:55

DD seems to have lost interest in pets for the moment! Thanks for the feedback, am off to see budgies just in case!

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