Adopting DSS from South Africa

[LulaPalooza]

I originally posted a thread in the Legal Matters area, but didn't get a response, so I thought I would try again here. Although maybe this would be better in the step parenting section?

Anyhoo, here's my question/ issue, slightly re-phrased:

My DH is South African and has a 12 year old son (DSS) who lives with DH's parents. DSS's Mother (DH and the Ex were never married) has very little to do with DSS but the arrangement between her and my in-laws is informal. We don't think she will oppose any moves to bring him to live with us (famous last words...)

I have met and get on with DSS well - I've spent a couple of months on two separate occasions in SA. We speak on the phone a lot, he's a great kid. He wants to come and live with us and we want that too. DH and I have discussed me formally adopting him. We have spoken to DSS about this and he wants me to adopt him (sorry, it's hard to be concise when this is in fact a complicated matter). So, we all want this.

From some basic internet research I know I will have to use the services of an SA qualified social worker and we'll have to get the courts involved over there, but what I am not clear about is what, if anything, we will need to do in terms of getting any social services or court involvement here in the UK. I guess i need to talk to a family lawyer but just wondered if anyone had any experience of adopting from a different jurisdiction, and in particular from SA? If you do, are there any legal or other hoops that we will need to jump through (immigration matters aside) once he is here?

Thanks in advance

here's the original thread

Before you do anything else you will need to get Mother's permission to adopt her son.

You cant do anything without it. Are you sure she will agree?

I think you need specialized information due to immigration matters. It sounds quite complicated and could be expensive.

Do you know if you will have to have a homestudy for stepparent adoption?
Sorry i cant be anymore help but I would caution against talking to DSS until you are sure mother will consent to adoption. She will lose ALL legal right to her son.

I hope it all goes smoothly. I would be interested to know what the procedure is in a case like this.

Thanks for your response MrsDeVere and for your kind comments. I will post back once I know what the procedures are. I have no idea about homestudy for stepparent adoption. Totally new to all of this.

She has indicated in the past that she would be willing but of course this may all come to nothing if she doesn't agree. In that instance, we would at least have to formalise it by applying for the SA equivalent of a residency order.

Yes, I realise I will need specialist immigration advice as well. I need a lot of legal advice, because this is not my area of law! (I'm a commercial lawyer).

I think the problem will be finding someone who knows about all the different aspects of this.

Family/immigration/private law.

If mum agrees I would hope it would be (relatively) straight forward. Can you ask on the step parent boards if anyone needed home studies? At least you would know that bit then.

They will have to talk to DSS.

I am wracking my brains to think about where you could get help with this. If I come up with anything I will get back to you.
My course this year is 'social work and the law' so if I come across anything I promise you will be the first to know!

If you dh has parental rights, surely he can apply for a visa for his son to come and live with him here in the uk?

Once you have lived together as a family for a few years you would be able to apply to do a step parent adoption in the british courts. At this time the local authrity woudl be instructed to carry out an assesmnt of the family and report to the court. You would need to do this befroe he was 16.

You may alsp choose to apply for other orders which might secure your Sss legal position but are not as drastic as adoption. The courts will need to be convinced that this is in the childs best interets and not a way to circumvent immigartion requirements.

What you are proposing is a huge step -to take a 12 year old away from his mother ( even though he doesnt live with her), his grandparenst who have brought him up, his freinds, education and culture. Are you really sure that this is in his best interests?

I agree with Kristina - I think it is way too early to be thinking about adoption when there are some other huge hurdles to cross yet - moving him to hte UK, changing schools, living together as a family etc.

Personally I would be more inclined to move him over here to live with you and see how that goes before taking any other steps.

I take your points about it being a huge step, but it is something that we have discussed at length, thought through, considered the implications for him etc etc.

Without going into too much personal detail about the family situation, it really is in his best interests to be with his Dad. We are not taking him away from his Mother. She lives several hundred miles from him, pays no interest in him whatsoever - she hasn't ever sent him a birthday or Christmas card, let alone a present. She hasn't seen him for several years. She never even calls.

And this certainly isn't an attempt to circumvent immigration requirements.

PS, as I said above, the arrangement is currently informal. There has never been any formal agreement or court order giving DH parental rights. Any rights have simply arisen through circumstance.

he can be with his Dad without being adopted by you. One thing at a time.

Yes, we've considered that too. It might be the best way at first.

We're just worried about DSS's legal position here if anything should happen to DH. We recognise that uprooting him from his family, friends and culture is a massive deal. I do not want him to have to go through anything like that again. I know that sounds pessimistic, but I'm a lawyer and want to ensure that DSS has certainty, stability and a right to remain here.

So does OH not have PR for his son?
That makes things more complicated.

I assume he would have to apply in SA. I have NO idea how that works. Have only just got to grips with the finer points of PR in the UK!

Sorry, when I say "I'm a lawyer" what I mean is that I'm a pragmatist and a realist and it's in my nature to consider worst case scenarios. As I inferred on the original thread, I am well aware that there are whole host of other considerations, not least his emotional wellbeing. This is an enormous step and we are trying to think through all of the things we will need to put in place to make sure that DSS can be here, be happy and be safe and secure. This thread was more about the legal and practical side of things. I have no doubt that I will be posting a whole host of other threads in other places about the much more important issues like how to settle him in, support him etc.

Anyway, I really do appreciate you taking the time to respond. Food for thought.

Family matters tend to be dealt with very, very differently in Mr Palooza's culture. There has never been any discussion of parental rights, they have just been assumed, so to speak.

Oh my, this is going to be a long and interesting road for us, isn't it?

The end goal is simply that DSS is settled, happy and with his Dad.

I would be very interested to hear about the legal complexities.
I hope that doesnt seem insensitive.
I am currently immersed in family law, court orders and the Children Act and my life is revolving round the subject.

The informality of SA child and family law coming up against the formalities of UK leglislation is fascinating.

Easy for me to say as it doesnt affect me personally

Not at all, MrsDeVere and thank you for your interest. Am more than happy to keep you updated although I might do so by PM? I agree it is interesting!

PS I hope I haven't come across as naive and/ or unfeeling... we really, really have considered all of the implications. We have also discussed them with him, at length, face to face and will do so again when we're there later this year. We're not doing any of this in a rush.

PPS good luck with your studies! I used to be a MH nurse and know quite a bit about that aspect of SW and the law, so if I can ever be of any assistance, let me know

Thank you.

Please let me know how you get on with things.

Will do, and thank you again xx

If you wish to adopt a child who lives overseas, you have to go through all the british legal procedures or you will not a visa for the child to enter the uk. This would take you several years and cost at least £10,000. You may mot find an adoption agency willing to do a home study in these circumstances, especially as your step son is alreday living within a family situation.

You would then have to readopt the child here in the uk. You might not be able to complete this befroe he is 16.

Im not the one you have to convince about immigration issues, its the british authorities. This is specificaly mentioned in the legislation regarding the afoption of young adults from abroad. I assuem that you have Uk citixenship and your Dh does not? Its not uncommon for families to wish to bring teenaged relatives to the uk and adopt them.

Therefore i think it would be far easier for your dh to get his parental rights recognised in the SA courts. He can then apply for a british visa for the child and bring him here. You can then address the issue of your adoption of him in due course.

Thanks Kristina. Having done some more research today, that is looking increasingly like the most appropriate route.

Youre welcome. I hope it works out for you all

Lula what is DH's current immigration status in the UK?

Sorry for slow response, Fanjolina (great name, BTW!)

He's currently on a 2 year spouse visa. He can apply for Indefinite leave to Remain from September, so by the time DSS is here he should (all being well) have ILtR status.