Hurting tonight

[Ihateai]

Went to see OH this evening. One DC (not mine they are both OH’s) was at a Halloween party the other with us. We went out trick or treating. She started to cry because she was with us and not with friends. I sat with her and calmed her down. All was ok.
Later we were making dinner and she asked when is ihateai leaving.
OH said I was staying over in the guest room and she had a melt down.

We have been together 5 years and the DC have known me for 2.5 years. So it has really hit me tonight. I have stayed over many times and always in the guest room. OH has them full time.

I am now home alone, crying and hungry.

That sounds hard, I'm sorry.
How has your relationship with them been up til now?

Please don’t worry OP. She is a child, who was upset at not being with friends for Halloween. She won’t always be a child, but while she is it is right that her father (I assume) prioritises her when she is upset.
I get it’s hard - sending love.

It has been good but there is a lot going on with their mother not picking them up for her weekends. Cancelling 2 hours before.

She sounds confused and hurt, especially if her mother keeps letting her down.

That sounds like there is a lot for you, your partner and the little girl and her sibling to deal with. It’s a really difficult situation.

Yes. I need to let it go. But it still hurts. I need to understand they have a hard life after their mother threw them out and they don’t have consistent contact with her.

I was just shocked because things have always been good between us.
I don’t stay often and always in the guest bedroom but to be told that I can’t even stay in the guest bedroom really hurt.
But may be it is my fault that recently I have been distant. I don’t want to impose on their family life as their mum is so distant.

@Ihateai is he worth it.
I'd leave them to it.
I've been round the block on that one.
Think of your own happiness. This isn't working for you then you leave.
Sorry.

For the sex, yes. I’ve been around the block a few times. My own DC is an adult. OH had his DC later with a much younger woman.

Maybe it is best he just comes to me when he is free. I do so much alone anyway. Like my holiday next week.

It used to be great with his DC but they are totally fucked up with weekly visits from social services.

It used to be great with his DC but they are totally fucked up with weekly visits from social services.

He should prioritise his children - it sounds like they need it. If he's that good a shag, suggest that you move to FWB agreement and meet at yours.

But mostly, enjoy your holiday.

He has over the last months. It was my first time since 2 months with them. Other DC was pretty cool with me. She had some sour popping candy from Halloween and asked me to eat one at the same time as her, like a shot.

I really cannot complain too much. I think it may be because their mum often has new boyfriends that stay over. So when the DC see her there is a new man.

It doesn’t have to be just FWB.

OH said he will talk with DC and find out why.
I feel stupid that an 8 year old made me feel so sad. But at least I feel that OH understood me.