Ddd happy to entertain her friends Mums but annoyed if I do the same….

[KaplanCarr]

Didn’t put thso in AIBU so be kind 😂 No a big thing in the grand scheme of things but I can’t say it hasn’t made me feel a bit crap.

DD has friend A’s Mum on Snapchat. The mum will on occasion message DD (just turned 18) but not in general I don’t think. She messaged happy birthday which of course is fine though and she might share something with DD. We went on holiday and yeh mum replied to DDs post so that kind of thing

I don’t have Snapchat.

DD has another best friend B and I know on occasion will message her mam and vice vecer but not in general, in relation to something.

I don’t think she has snapschat!

I have FB and B sent me a friend request buy I declined as I think B wanted to see what I put on my FB! (DD says)

I have Bs number and will message in an emergency but not for fun. I don’t have A’s number.

I’m fine with it all as it’s been like that for a couple of years, but today A passed her driving test and I said to DD “I’ll come and say well done to A (as she was coming to ours to pick up DD)” and she said no don’t do that, as if she was embarrassed and off she went.

I don’t react normally but I felt a bit shit as I thought it’s ok for their Mams to message etc and if I say well done it’s embarrassing.

I can’t say anything to DD but I do feel a bit shit like… how’s it ok and not embarrassing for their mams but not me! I feel like a jealous teenager but it’s that I don’t want my DD to be embarrassed of me.

Aww thanks for replying, nee other soul has of yet 😂😭

Different when you make an effort to come out of the house to the car or whatever to say it in person compared to a message that your daughter receives and can choose whether to read or reply.
I still think it was nice of you to want to congratulate her and not an issue, but it is a different dynamic. Plus you don't know if the other girls like their mums messaging yours.

I don’t think teenagers find other mums embarrassing just their own.
The girl in the car probably would have been grateful if you had popped out, or at least not embarrassed. But she might hate it when her own mum messages your daughter.

Common for teens to worry their parents are embarrassing when they arent. She doesnt care about messages from other mums as she can think more logically about them as it would only be embarrassing to their friend not to dd .

Yes it's daft and a bit annoying buf I wouldnt take it personally.

It’s normal. Other peoples mums are cool but your own is embarrassing. It’s how it works.

Maybe the friends are telling their mothers they are embarrassing for texting.

Teens always find their own mums embarrassing. My DC’s tell me (with a decent amount of shock) that their mates always say nice things about me being normal and fun ‘for a mum’. As if they can’t quite believe the compliment.
It’s not you, it’s them. They grow out of the worst of it.

OK, this is basic teen girl stuff.

All her friends mums are cool. They are really great, well balanced mums who never do anything wrong.

You are The Most Embarrassing Person In The World.

All her friends think the same way, so they think you are great, and their mum is embarrassing.

Don’t let her put you off having contact with her friends. She’s just being a little cow! Totally normal but don’t buy into it.

You’re sounding a bit juvenile and over-involved, OP. Step away from the teenage girl stuff.

I agree and I purposely don’t get over involved normally, but I say ‘well done’ and I’m an embarrassment 😳 I’m trying not care but it didn’t make me feel great