Pure hatred for my noisy neighbours

[PeacefulTimes50]

I live in social housing in a place that was never properly sound insulated between two houses ( it's a conversion from one into two homes)

I'm a really considerate person in my belief; I hold doors, drawers, cupboards closed and it's alien to me to let doors slam non stop. This is normal to my neighbours.

I have many health problems. The bangs are so severe they cause you to jump and I have a constant startle reflex. It happens throughout every day but is now too much to cope with. n the evenings incoming after 11 and sometimes 12am

I'd like some peace in the evening to process what I'm dealing with health wise and multiple life stressors this has caused. But that's not an option.

I can't continue to comfortably listen to music through headphones non stop in the home I pay £700 a month rent for. Sometimes, I want to just watch TV.

My neighbours have brains like a sieve, have been incredibly inconsiderate with certain things they've done and the male adult in the house has attempted to intimidate me multiple times ( it's hard to prove what he's doing). It's all too much.now.

I am asking my housing provider to please do something to help insulate banging a little better.

There's little in the law to help with this. I know the legislation available quite well and am now pulling on everything I know in writing to get someone to investigate the problem mainly with the building itself.and any law related to that.

I feel absolutely destroyed after 2 plus years of this particular family with the underlying stress of my very difficult life situation health wise.

I have cried many times to myself, I have tried everything and have such hatred to this family now, especially the man who has behaved in absolutely pathetic ways to try intimidate me out my own garden when I'm at my weakest and simply trying to enjoy nature.

I am worried I am going to crack and scream hysterically at them . I've now resorted to full blast brown noise on a speaker as I am cracking. That does not block the thuds would you believe. It's also difficult to sleep through that with it in my home.

I honestly feel this can drive people to absolute breakdown when you have lower reserves already.

I wanted to moan here really. There's no easy answer here.that anyone can provide.

Sending you many sympathies. It sounds like you both have very different ways of living, and being next door neighbours to people who live more noisily than you is miserable. I wonder if going to the GP and asking for help would be a good idea? You can get treatment for misophonia which is very similar - it might help you while you're waiting for your housing provider to help?

I'm just sending hugs 💐 that's awful. If ypu haven't lived next to horrible neighbours, you really don't know that dread.

Is there any mileage in a house swap? Have seen that on social housing groups.

I feel that I don't have a sensitivity as anyone who visits ( it is rare to have visitors ) will say ' what the hell was that - I say, that's my neighbours. So the fact I've coped this long is a miracle.

I do understand that I need to look at all options as I'm dysregulated emotionally with everything piled up. I was prescribed something which has had awful side effects. I have been taking double gabapentin in the evening to knock me out if possible for now. The bang is so severe it wakes you and brings you out of the drifting off phase.

The house structure itself is the number one problem here combined with people who have no thoughts outside themselves no matter what it does to someone.

I joined a house swap site a year ago. I had one message although willing to downsize. I am desperate not to.go.into.a flat where in social housing you can end up with multiple people together who behave with a particular mentality.

Yes, that is the truth of social housing tenants in the majority. There's a different rule book of behaviour for some reason.

I'm not saying you have a sensitivity, it sounds like an awful situation - but treatment for misophonia could potentially help here. It's maybe worth a try?

OP I feel so sorry for you in this situation. I have been in similar situations and it’s awful. Have a look at the Shelter website. Keep a diary of everything the family do to intimidate/annoy you however difficult you think it would be to prove. You need this information to help your case. This site also has some helpful information. I sincerely hope and pray you can find a way out of this https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/problems-neighbours.

I do agree that I have to explore all options because my emotions are most definitely heightened. 🙏

I'm not surprised, it sounds awful. Good luck, I hope you manage to find a way to deal with it and that you get a resolution soon 💐

Just to say I totally understand how you feel. Our old neighbour couldn't shut a door without slamming it, couldn't put a mug down without hammering it down, couldn't speak without shouting. I always knew where he was if he was in. It drove me almost to madness, I could not block it out. I the end I pretty much lived life with Loop earbuds or my noise cancelling earbuds in constantly which is no way to live. I also had hypnotherapy which helped a bit. I acknowledge that I probably have misophonia and have done a bit of work on myself to try and address it but ultimately we moved to a detached house and I know I'm lucky in that respect. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Wishing you all the best xx

My husband has a chronic pain condition where any sounds cause him pain. He tends to just wear ear plugs 24/7.

Thankyou to all.of you for your really kind validating words.

Shark - my Housing Officer has said ( after finally getting one to visit me after 4 years living here) that I need to call the Police or the Council.

So there's a lot of passing on the problem here. The problem is multi factoral; the house is not soundproofed and was difficult with another prior family because of the fact they split one house into two and just winged it so to speak.

I'm aware on talking with the wife of the current family when they moved in here two years ago, that they swapped into this house here after being maliciously victimised by their old neighbours. I was told they were calling the Police because of noise my current neighbours were making in their prior home.

I believed this and being the sucker I can be, felt bad for them!

I now know this is not true. It was not a malicious assault against my current neighbours. It was the other way round.

I believe the male tenant, the husband, deliberately tormented them in ways he's tried with me here, and the neighbours of their block collectively addressed it by calling the Police in response to his noise

Because I'm vulnerable in many ways, single, no family support, on my own - really tough health situations making me feel very vulnerable at times and a little bit fearful because of that - there's a huge part of me not used to making a big fuss. I worry what he will do, that I can't prove, that I will lose my composure over and absolutely flip.

I have an audit trail of everything that's happened here and will make this as presentable as possible and consistently record everything tbh. I want it to not be happening as it impacts you hugely when you have to do this vigilant note taking etc.

I have huge stress with other issues outside my health, emotional abusive situations with people I've had to cut off , including family, a very difficult situation with my child and it goes on. It has left me little space but to try get through one day intac, hence being slightly frozen over really pushing hard for action on this.

My neighbours are excellent at portraying the victim. I have little to no one to back me whereas they have multiple family members visiting them.

So - I feel broken and have only recently felt I could take this on. Realising over the last year that being nice, being g tolerant and accommodating to people, including neighbours, in a social housing dynamic, does not actually really work.

Thank you for the validation - which itself is a comfort 😁