My life

[Sukaur]

How do you mums
Control phone use in teenagers
Without upsetting them

Just upset your kids. So many parents don't want to upset their kids and the consequences of that are dire - I'm a secondary school teacher.

Don’t worry about upsetting your teen the most important thing is to parent them. They won’t always be happy with your decisions and that’s fine.

You’re the adult and they won’t be able to see or understand the damage that out of control phone use can do (I also work in Education)

Have open and frank conversations with them, at school, and my own DC have been asked to do this, they are asked to check their average screen time and see how long they are spending on individual apps. Sometimes this is enough of a shock for them.

Teenagers get upset all the time, it's like their job description. Do what you need to do as a responsible parent.

How old is your teen, OP, and what is their phone use problem? The approach with a 13 year old and 17 year old might look very different. I think 'controlling' is what naturally ends as the teen years roll by so that at 18 they make reasonable decisions that suit them most of the time.

We have some habits like no phones at meals and it goes on charge in another room. DD's friend has very tight rules on phone use but was glued to it on a recent trip, unlike DD who took the odd photo but was too busy doing things instead.

I found this really helpful- not sure if the link will work. In case it doesn’t, it’s the Screen Time Battles by Therapeutic Shift.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/4587266913/screen-time-battles-digital-download?ls=a&gaorder=mostrelevant&gasearchtype=all&gaviewtype=gallery&gasearchquery=screen+time+guide&ref=scgallery-1-3&dd=1&plkey=Eu6tQhQTEI4J59dPERS1xQslrE71%3ALT8d28d6a616a3ddd757e33ca8e02f9116c017c485

I found it really practical and helpful.

That's almost a haiku

For me, the two most important rules were no phones at the table at mealtimes and leave your phone downstairs overnight.

Also, my teens were busy with other activities (eg sport, music, weekend job depending on age of teen) which put a "natural" limit on screen time.

Apart from the above, I was fairly relaxed about screen time.

We got a box with a lock and key. Dh drilled holes in the side for the charging cords and at the appropriate time, everything was locked away and I hid the key somewhere different every night. Yes, dc got upset. She survived.

We relaxed the rules in the holidays which is when I found her self regulating so the box was put away.

we have only one dc. I imagine it would be difficult with dc of different ages.

You cannot make rules without upsetting your dc. You have to stick to the rules and the upset becomes less. Even in sleepovers, I enforced rules - the others were warned but they still came happily enough and they behaved well.

I will add, dc has since worked as a waitress and has seen how children are parented these days re screens and is horrified and the little interaction parents provide their little darlings.

Why does this read like a haiku?