Tips for starting over

[Dogsandtoast]

my ex husband has died, leaving our 18 year old daughter bereft. I’ve been crying over the loss so much, it’s just so sad, what a waste. He was a very serious alcoholic who was pretty horrible to me and made it impossible to live with. We separated 10 years ago. But I feel so sorry for him as well, and I left the funeral yesterday evening in tears, thinking about those early days and how much fun we had. I have an amazing job, and a good creative life, but my daughter is about to leave home and I will be alone. I wish I was in a long term relationship. I look around at all my peers who are enjoying life with their partners and I don’t think that is going to happen for me me as I don’t want to have sex but what are your tips for leading an amazing life at this stage? What can I do to bring fun and adventure in? How can I have a brilliant life and not feel so sad and alone?

Sorry to read this OP. How old are you? I have been on a few group holidays as a solo traveller and had a great time. Some companies specialise in trips for solo travellers but I’ve joined ones with a mix of couples and solo travellers and enjoyed both equally. I’ve been to Vietnam, Egypt, Spain. I’d also look on local facebook groups for things that are happening. There is a community base near me run by local people. It’s always full, everyone is welcome and they run various events. Good luck.

I am 54. I know I am at that point in life where things are about to change. And they will. But I’m just sad that I’m on my own and haven’t been in a loving relationship. It’s been hard being a single mother and I am a little envious of all those couples who are together. I was too busy getting on with everything and keeping it all going. And now I feel a bit sad not to have a partner. But I also know that it’s only me who can bring forth change.

Address this later on. ATM your teen daughter needs you. She is 18, attended her father’s funeral yesterday and is “bereft” . She doesn’t need her mother, who has t been with her father for a decade, constantly crying and unable to support her.

FFS.

Planning some trips together with DD (they can be adventurous like Exodus too). Start small - join a social group that attracts 50s divorcess or older singletons such as a dance class, toastmasters, supper club.

I met an amazing teacher in hospital who was dying of terminal cancer when I suddenly was bluelighted up for emergency surgery, she was like you are way too young to be single and told me to take up golf to meet someone! She met her current younger partner when he came to do work on her house. Sailing clubs are also a good shout.

I hear you OP. I wonder if you need to grieve the loss of what could have had before you move on to the phase of getting out there and starting the next chapter? It might just be one conversation or event that’s needed?