Attending a wedding with a toddler

[Mamma292939]

Close friend has invited me to her church wedding. She is keen for my whole family to attend. However I have a toddler who can barely sit still. I also have older children who may struggle with the length of the ceremony. Friend says they will provide a separate space for us to take kids if they can’t sit through ceremony and we can nip back in whenever we like. I’ve voiced my worries to her and she says they will make it work for us so we can all attend. It’s likely we will spend almost all of the ceremony in the separate space and we’re unlikely to attend the rest of the day.

Has anyone taken a toddler to a wedding ceremony? How did you manage?

I’ve done this many times.

Sit at the back, so you can leave easily and any noise is less disruptive.

Take lots of snacks (not in wrappers!).

Take toys (again, that aren’t noisy inc if dropped).

If it fails, just accept you’re going to be outside!

are there any grandparents who could take the toddler for the day?

How nice she has included your children - this is very rare nowadays.

Yes, I have btw and it was fine. Sit at the back if he/she starts you can leave quickly. The thought is probably worse than the actual event. Be positive and enjoy.

Having to juggle a toddler in an unfamiliar environment is no fun. Do you have anyone that would look after them for the day?

If you don't want to take the toddler, then don't. It's not a summons as they say.

She obviously wants friends and their kids there so probably won’t mind the odd bit of noise/ chaos. We had children zooming around at our wedding. Was fabulous!
but you can also leave your toddler behind for the day (with a relative / babysitter?!)

If you can get someone else to have the toddler then do it and enjoy your day

I've seen toddlers/young children at weddings and they fall into two camps:

A: sit at back and leave quietly if child gets unsettled so as not to disturb others
B: think their child is horrendously cute and let them "join in" with the wedding. My own niece is in wedding photos of my sister's work colleague as she walked up the aisle behind the bride, probably to the horror of everyone but my DD felt that was better than her making noise.

Obviously B is highly inappropriate, so as long as you stick to A you'll be fine.

We've just been to a friend's wedding a couple of weekends ago and have three toddlers. It didn't bother me only one got a wee noisy near the end so we just had a little stroll outside, but they had such fun at the party afterwards

Yes, taken toddlers to weddings and funerals many times and never had to leave. We brought some quiet snacks and quiet activities to keep them occupied.

But if you’d feel stressed and wouldn’t enjoy it, do you have a partner? Or a family member? Someone who could take toddler on a walk or drive while you’re at the church?

Then why wouldn’t you attend the reception? That’s the easiest bit. You take turns with your partner or just you walking them outside. You bring snacks and sit and feed them during the drinks reception bit. Mine have sat through many dinners and speeches and stayed for dancing til about 10pm. The key is just bringing your own food and getting up and moving when they get a bit bored. Dh and I ate in shifts and took turns taking them outside during the sit down bits. They loved the music and dancing. It’s really no big deal.

Ive had 2 under 5 at a family wedding, we had a good day but dh was best man and I never got a minute to myself.

For friends weddings we got my mum to watch them, she had a great day with her grandchildren and dh and I had a relaxing time at a friends wedding.

I think if your friend wants your children there, it's probably good to take them, unless you are going to hate it.

I had lots of children at my wedding, and one of my memories is of seeing them all playing outside. I liked having people I cared about there.

No one to look after toddler unfortunately - super clingy as well.

We’ll definitely stay for nibbles if we make it through the ceremony. But probably not dinner or after party since they are in different locations and it becomes hard for my older kids too.

Churches are fine for kids, she wants them there. Just take quiet toys and snacks, most churches have a corner with toys and colouring, we have play dough too, ideal for older kids and adults who fidget (our members with dementia like it!). Most kids love weddings, mine especially loved dancing, and have lovely pictures with them asleep on coats under the tables with long cloths. Never had to leave early even.

Took my lively 2.5 year old to a wedding over the summer. I really really wish I’d gotten a babysitter. I did not enjoy the wedding at all. Infact it was extremely stressful for me. Some children his age may have had a lovely time but unfortunately not for me or my child 😂

Yes, attended on my own with two under the age of 4, ceremony and reception.

As others have said, be prepared with snacks and a book for them to look at quietly.

The preparation was lovely, buying our outfits, visiting the church beforehand, talking about weddings and expectations of what we needed to do.

They were no bother, even gave their godmother a little red rose each. A gorgeous day.

If she wants you all there she won’t mind a bit of noise! I had everyone’s kids at my wedding because I love children I wanted a big family wedding, I couldn’t have cared less if one cried or was jigging about during the service. I didn’t have children at the time so it wasn’t anything to do with that. Go and enjoy yourself, take a few sweets in your handbag and a little toy if that helps you feel better but most people won’t care if a child is a bit noisy or fiddly!

Took all my toddlers to church loads of time. Bring a bag of “tricks”, snacks, books, quiet toys. Trap toddler in between 2 grown ups so he can’t go walkabout and be prepared for hasty exit in the event of noise. Also, sit where the toddler can see what’s going on, but still near a side door if possible.