Are visits to (young) adult children always a family affair? Ie mum and dad together

[WildStorm]

I was having a discusdion with a couple of friends re seeing our young adult dcs and found we all have very different ‘set up’ so to speak.
One of them thought it was really strange to go and see your dc at the weekend on your own, wo dh and father of the child.
Another found it pretty normal on the ground that we all have independent (from our dh) relationships with our DCs.

What would be the consensus on MN? Are visits to an adult child always a family affair’ so mum agd dad together?

Absolutely not. Unless you have to do everything together as a couple. Lovely both spending time individually and as a family

In theory we could go see them separately, but in practice we go together.

If DH was going to a gig with them, I could imagine him going on his own, or if I were going to a play with them (I don't like gigs, he's not fussed on theatre)

But mostly, because we both love to see them, we both go.

Any combination, same with visiting our parents, sometimes together, sometimes separately. just depends what else is going on at the time and when people last saw each other, or if there’s a specific reason for a visit.

Currently on own visiting a child. Why not!
It’s a treat to spend quality time with them.
DH can do the same any time .

I tend to agree with you all.
dh tends to not organise anything so left to his own devices, he doesn’t make the effort to go and see either of them. (And now that both dcs are working, them visiting home is also left to me 🙄🙄)
But then i end up feeling guilty if I’m going on my own.

My parents are ‘we do absolutely everything together’ type so I have to say, it has made me wonder if I wasn’t wrong in going on my own

I mostly see my adult dc on my own.
I'm retired, and dh isn't, so I'll often see them in the day for one reason or another.
When they didn't live in the same City, it was easier to find a date for just one child and one parent could both make, rather than trying to co-ordinate everyone.
As pps said, one of us might go 'to' something with one of them - eg sport, theatre, etc which the other of us isn't particularly interested in.

Our situation is a bit different as DH didn't come into my children's lives until they were already young adult living away from home, but to him they are his children and they love him like a father.

We usually go together, but not always. I have been on a spa day with one daughter and stayed a few nights with the other daughter who lives 6 hours away. Those are exceptional things... We do usually go together but he certainly wouldn't object if I went without him. And he does pick up duties for one of my grandchildren a couple of times a week and occasionally stays to socialise a bit, plus he has helped with DIY etc. I used to go over to see my local daughter once a week for a meal, but that stopped when she had her first baby and became too busy.

DH quite often toddles off to London to go to a concert with DD on his own. I tend not to go without him because ever since having a stroke and giving up alcohol, my anxiety tends to go off the charts going on my own!