Can any driving instructors offer advice please?

[Drivingtestwoes]

Hi all, DD has her driving test shortly, due to the difficulty getting a test now, she’s been waiting 6 months and now it’s very close. She has received very little feedback from her instructor who is very quiet but does have the odd bit of moodiness and on occasion she says she can tell he’s not in a good mood as soon as she gets in the car, however, she seemed to be progressing well, until her last lesson. Her instructor claimed she made a dangerous manoeuvre (she denies this but it’s by the by), screamed at her and then proceeded to criticise everything she did during the lesson, screaming in her face on a second occasion, she came home in floods of tears. He messaged me the next day with her next lesson date and time and I him she was very upset and anxious but didn’t elaborate or point the finger, his reply to me was basically a rant about every mistake she made on that single lesson, he ended the rant by saying if she had another bad lesson he would refuse to take her for her test, I was flabbergasted. My issue is that at no point has he said she isn’t test ready, he was speaking to me about timings etc just a few days ago, he’s never mentioned a single thing, now, all of a sudden, this outburst, so she was either not test ready and he failed to feed this back or she is test ready but he’s had a bit of a meltdown over a bad lesson, what do we do? My DD is is bits and now under an enormous amount of pressure to not upset him at the next lesson, it’s too late change instructor and she’s almost certain to have another really long wait if she postpones.

Sorry about the typos but for some reason I can’t correct them on the app.

Can you take her for her driving test if necessary? There is no requirement for a driving instructor.

Hopefully, you have been taking her out in the family car regularly so that she is used to it.

hi @LauraNorda, we have been taking her out in my car several times a week with no issues so taking her test in this is something we’re considering, it’s just all so last minute and was completely unavoidable, if she wasn’t test ready, he should have just said.

Mine had a similar experience, albeit only a few lessons in: taking her on big fast roads far out of her comfort zone - then telling her badly she'd driven and how terrified he had been as her passenger, and getting angry when she reminded him she had mentioned at the start that she did not feel comfortable. We have struggled to find another instructor too. It's really shaken her confidence.

Give her the choice between taking her test with him or with you. At this point I think you just need to keep her calm. Check your tyre treads etc if you use your own car.

I'm not a driving instructor but my very panicky anxious daughter passed 3rd time after a horrific 2nd test & change of instructor. Her instructor suggested we cut right back on practice right just before the test. She could clearly drive, and extra practice was just giving her more opportunities to make small mistakes and ramp up her anxiety. I'm sure extra practice is good for most students. But she was so hyped up that keeping things calm was more important.

I'm not a driving instructor, but your daughter taking the test in your car sounds like it could be the best solution. Have you practised the manoeuvres in your car? Also if driving tests still have the "show me/tell me" section, look up what questions your daughter might get asked and make sure she knows the answers for your car.

A very long time ago now, but I had a similar experience. My parents arranged lessons through BSM who would book the test in advance right at the start, because it’s better to have the date then postpone it if not ready than wait to book it when you are ready and have to wait for a slot.

The cut off to postpone was two weeks before the test. As it was coming up I felt like I was still not sure on a lot of the road craft. I asked my instructor if I was really ready or if I should postpone and he said I was fine.

Then, literally 2 days before the test, far too late to postpone it, BSM called to say "we have a duty for the safety of the examiner and the general public and we can't allow you to take the test in our car" ?!!!!

So, given it was too late to postpone it I took it in my parents' car. Failed, obviously, but not especially dangerously, just clearly not ready.

I got another instructor via recommendations, he was excellent and I passed on the third attempt (second was pretty much perfect for all the normal driving but I messed the reverse round a corner alignmenr twice so no way I could pass. Third was basically perfect).

With the second instructor I realised how much I had just not been taught in the first lessons. Not even the "mirror-signal-maneouvre" drill.

Thing is, the first instructor had taught people I know who passed. So I don't think he was a cowboy or anything. Just totally wrong for me, and somehow he'd failed to recognise I wasn't progressing properly until far too late.

So, I passed, and I drove happily and confidently as a new driver and have done ever since, 30+ years, cities, towns, motorways and country roads, UK and abroad, with no issues, no accidents, not even a speeding ticket. It wasn't a sign I was destined to be a terrible driver, just a bad start.

Anyway, a long anecdote and long time ago - my message for OP is just that this does happen, it's not the end of the world, chalk it up to just a clash of styles, it's not a reason to lose confidence in her potential to pass next time, just a signal to try again with another instructor.

Thanks all for your support. I’ve spoken to another instructor today who is highly recommended, providing he has availability (he was out today so couldn’t check), he’s going to take her out in the week to assess her and then advise if he thinks she would be better off postponing, I honestly think she’s test ready, regardless of whether she passes or not, but his outburst has made both my daughter and I quite anxious so hoping another opinion will help, we only have a few days now to make the decision unfortunately..

She’s only done the manoeuvres once in my
car so we will have to dedicate quite a bit of time to this, all doable though. I’ll do my homework on the show me/tell me stuff.