Stepfather obsessed/murders teen stepdaughter

[LifeTakeTwo]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cxj0l12y9p9qo

Absolutely shocking and disturbing case in the news today.

As a single mum of daughter's the thought of bringing a man into their lives terrifies me.

How do we possibly VET these men?

Carla's mother is an intelligent psychotherapist. So it's not a stereotype sorta case that people imagine, of a naive and uneducated single mum bringing in a known dodgy type of man.

You just cannot know! Seemingly lovely and normal men harbouring horrific thoughts about your children. It's diabolical.

Saw that on the news. Her poor mother. I hope he dies soon but horribly.

This is so horrific

So awful. RIP Carla. Her Mum must be going through hell. What is wrong with these men? He must have known he would be caught. In the arrest video there is a moment of mild surprise and then he just doesn't seem bothered.

Horrific. That poor young woman.

It’s absolutely horrendous. Poor Carla.

It also reminds me of the murder of Tia Sharp by her Grandmother’s partner(Extremely distressing) https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-22513711

and the murder of Tia Rigg by her Uncle(Also extremely distressing)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-13381695

I’n glad that I don’t have children because I think I’d end up a paranoid wreck with them around males whether related or not and with good cause.

The way he went into her halls with a duvet on his head. I wonder if he had done it before. Been there I mean. Her mother will never recover from this, it’s horrific.

And the poor person she had planned a date with.

Yess having young daughters myself I don't think I could trust any man around them. No matter how lovely and nice natured they appear to be.

It really is playing russian roulette bringing any man into your kids lives. It's sickening.

RIP Carla. Sweet girl.

And the murder of Amber Gibson by her brother.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-66300209

That photo of her in the sun hat haunts me. Poor girl.

Why do they do it? I can't understand it? What is the point of it?

I just can't understand it at all.

I wish I knew. The depravity and pointless sadism of so many men knows no bounds.

This is why even if DH left, I would never date again before my youngest turns 16. I know it didn’t help this poor young lady, but children in particular are so vulnerable. I find the revolving door of ‘stepdads’ in and out of kids lives to be deplorable.

Sex, young woman, control, power. I'm sure a psychologist could tell us more. But these perpetrators don't think about it. they are just waiting for that switch to flip in the right circumstances. He drove from the NE to NW England to harm her. Could be one of our daughters or sisters. No different to Sara Everard really and still it goes on

This is something I both agree with and struggle with.

I'm a single mum of young daughter's. I've been dating and never struggle to date/meet people and my friends tell me that as I refuse to 'progress' a relationship by letting someone have access to my day-to-day life, I won't actually be able to find anyone.

I agree. You cant really progress into a long term commited monogamous relationship without letting someone access most aspects of your life. But how can you when it's literally russian roulette with men.

Some of my friends have found partners as single mums and moved them in. Those men will have to be alone with the kids when living with them (mum pops to shop, goes to work and needs them to pick up kids etc). It makes me feel uncomfortable, even though they seem nice enough men.

How on earth do you vet them?!

There’s no point in trying to understand it- I’ve given up. The fact is that some men (a significant minority perhaps) associate sex with violence. The violence gets them off. God knows why. Something deeply wrong in their psyche I guess. The availability of violent porn online is definitely making it worse though, IMO. Unfortunately no governments seem to care enough about women and children to control it, presumably because these men’s depraved compulsions make money for other men.

This poor young woman. And on her birthday too. Appalling. 😔

I saw that case and it is just horrific.
I was brought up very strictly and chafed against traditional values but do now sometimes wonder if we have lost as much as we have gained with sexual freedom being encouraged and celebrated. The risks of an unrelated male in a house with children or young people are always unknown. Once that barrier of close consanguinity is no longer present, then there really isn’t much to stop a man from acting out his desires. And of course some men commit these crimes against their own family members too.
Awful, just awful.

Devastating. They explore this question in the first 2 series of Broadchurch. Can you really not know the person you are sleeping next to every night is a monster?

Sexual freedom has nothing to do with the rape and murder of a young girl. Predatory men thrive is traditionalist, rigid societies.

I don't think I'd date again if my much loved DH died.

I am also a university lecturer and I feel so much for the other young people who know her and now have this awful knowledge of what happened at their university and to their friend.

Of course sexual crime happens in all societies. But there do seem to be new forms of crime arising because there is more sexual freedom, in all kinds of ways. For example, the freedom to talk about sexual activity online directly facilitated the crimes against Mme Pelicot.

There are many examples but I can’t bring myself to describe them.

On a very simple level, there used to be more of a social stigma against women forming new sexual partnerships after a first marriage. Unfair and judgmental, yes of course. But perhaps less risky for children if a woman was slower to move in a new boyfriend.

But at the end of the day the man perpetrated this crime and all my abhorrence, horror and disgust is centred on him.

If we lived in a sane society, this demon would be put down by the state at the earliest opportunity.

Well said. Rest in peace Carla Georgesku.

I'm not sure that's true at all. There was always a very strong economic imperative to remarry for both sexes when a widow/widowed, for instance.