Massive dilemma - job related...

[Debatingafuture]

Okay basic history...!

I'm early 40s, with two teenage children and a husband. A few years ago I started retraining as a nurse, however have really struggled with placements. I had a few bad ones and ended up having panic attacks, I hate the feeling of not being competent and left at the start of year 3 when it all got too much. I worked in a completely different field for a year, before trying again starting year 1 in march at a different uni.
My first placement didn't really even get started - it was a bad ward, really rude and unwelcoming staff and tbh I panicked and bolted. Uni let me take the time off with a view to doing a retrieval placement in fab as I've also got a terminally ill parent and it was just mad for a while.

While on time off, on a complete whim, I applied for a job in the industry I've previously worked in. I was invited to interview and I've been offered it. It's a field I'm not very experienced in (agricultural trials) but with a very good company.

So I'm hugely conflicted!!!! New job is an unknown, plus the commute is not particularly lovely, however it is potentially interesting and the lifestyle is more 'me' - outdoors for a fair chunk, at shows presenting research to farmers etc. and tbh the money would be very welcome. I will also have to tow machinery etc which is something I'm inexperienced doing, I've towed before but relatively small stuff and I'm crap at reversing!

But that means giving up completely on nursing. I love the scientific side, and I have had placements I've enjoyed but looking back I don't think I've ever managed to get through a single placement without ringing in sick on occasion! Now I'm out on placement starting next week until April which is scary. I'm actually very capable, I get on really well with people and there are parts of it I love, plus I don't want people to see me as a failure! Nursing means a lot. But it's definitely love/hate.

Advice?! DH says to do what will make me happy. He also worries that I will regret giving up on the chance to finish the degree and has utter blind faith that I CAN finish it, which is something I'm not sure I share...!

Thank you.

It sounds like you dont want to be a Nurse? Nothing wrong with that. I moved to teaching. Realised within a year that I just didn't have the vocational drive needed and switched back to my previous career.
It ticked the " what if?" box for me.
New job sounds like you would enjoy it.

And just because you can do something doesn't mean you should!

Do the agricultural one, sounds like the reality of nursing isn’t for you even if you like the science

I don't think I want to admit that I am just not cut out for it. On paper I'd be great, everyone I've ever worked with has said I'll be an amazing nurse. I genuinely like people and love medical aspect. But there is something about the day to day that I struggle with

Take the agricultural job.

I was the same with teaching. I had a background in training. Right personality. Good at delivery, the whole nine yards. But actually doing it day in, day out and dealing with the politics and ofsted etc just wasn't for me. Nothing wrong in it. I had another year to complete my part time pgce and just realised it was a huge amount of work when my heart wasn't in it. Not to mention the waste of everyone else's time

Agriculture.

You gave nursing a fair crack, it’s not for you. Life’s too short to try and fit a job that’s not a good fit.

Would it help to think of it as ‘just one job, for now’ rather than giving up for ever the idea of being a nurse ? Try the new job, see how you like it. Give it a year or two then reevaluate

good luck.

Take the agri job. I think something/your subconscious is telling you the reality of nursing is not a good fit for you.

Go for the agricultural one and just get used to towing machinery. That's a skill you can learn and do alone that isn't affected by others attitudes or ward dynamics. Don't sweat the small stuff, bigger picture it sounds like thr agriculture one would be best for you.

There is no dilemma. You’re clearly not cut out to be a nurse and some people aren’t there’s no shame in that.

I had a friend who spent years yearning to be an airline pilot. He had a private pilot's licence and was then lucky enough to be able to afford to train on simulators and then passenger airliners. It cost a fortune. He spent ages training, and then got his dream job as an airline pilot. Fantastic. Except he didn't like the reality of it at all. He's given it up and gone back to his previous career.

Sometimes the thing you think you want, and that people say you are good at, is not the right thing for you at all.

I wouldn’t think negatively about ‘not being cut out to be a nurse’ as that makes it sound like some sort of personal failing. It’s just not the right fit for you. Sometimes we don’t realise until we are doing it. You tried it, it wasn’t for you, now you know and you can move on to something that fits you better. It’s an exciting opportunity!

You’re plainly not cut out for being a nurse. No shade, neither would I be.

Nursing is about people at its heart, dealing with the current state of NHS and its impact on very unwell people isn't for most people.
You can learn to tow with confidence and sound like you'll enjoy the agriculture role.

agriculture. It sounds like nursing isn't for you. It's not a failure, just not for you, and that's ok. You tried it and it didn't work out. It's time to move on.

Exactly this!

Thank you everyone. I’m taking the job.

You don't have to be a nurse once you've qualified. You can use your degree in a job that uses your medical knowledge and is paid far more highly than nursing - pharma, medical communications, etc.

I think having tried at least twice on the nursing and have had to step back your chances of being able to finish are I think limited. Sadly you aren’t guaranteed a good placement and the general mood , under resourcing and stress levels will make it even more difficult to be successful. Nursing requires not only the science element but the general caring and working in teams etc. you have said yourself you haven’t managed to get through even a good placement without being sick so I would long and hard whether nursing is in fact right for you. Reading your OP sadly I don’t think you are, difficult though it must feel to consider giving up, you have tried at two different unis and it hasn’t worked but you have worked hard to try and make it work.

If it were me I think I would go for the other job. You haven’t failed you have given it more than a fair shot which is a credit to you, but it doesn’t seem to be your “thing”