How do you keep friendships going?

[Abitlonelytoday]

I've been feeling quite lonely lately. DH is an academic and we've moved all over for his work. We've settled in his home country and whilst I've become close with his family and some of his friends, I don't really have a circle of my own after several years. Partly due to being busy with DC and work and also the society here being somewhat closed off. My very best friends from childhood and uni are back home and I've even started to slowly lose touch with them. We've also both unfortunately had a couple of bereavements of close friends in the past year, so I've really been feeling like my close friends are no more.

How do you keep friendships going? I feel like I've failed and as I get older, I miss having close friends.

I reckon I'm also somewhat of an introvert, I was always the type to have a small circle of close friends (rather than a large circle of casual ones) but now as we approach middle age, it seems so very small. We have casual contact with the parents of DCs but it seems they all have their own networks.

i face time each once a month. I plan funny things to tell them as well as updates and look forward to it. (don't want to be a person who says they have nothing going on!) I send physical gifts for birthdays and christmas and if i see something that makes me think og them i send a photo

I have set up a weekly Teams call with my small group of close friends. Sometimes they make it sometimes they don't, but we all try and keep to the schedule if we can and leave WhatsApp voice notes and funny pics in the meantime. We also always try and get together once a year for a weekend that fits around childcare responsibilities etc.

A yearly get together as a group (five of us, not huge!) I probably only see each separately once or twice a year outside this.
Group chat that keeps us connected in between is mostly aiming offensive memes to each other. We're all contentedly plodding along so big updates are rare, but celebrated/supported when they come.

I have people at work I would consider friends but rarely socialise outside it (childcare and finances both being barriers but I'm still not sure I'd feel the need seeing as I see them most days and have a chance to chat). I also have a regularish hobby with another group of people, I don't see them outside of that either.

To keep up with my friends from uni we use a group chat for a weekly check in with a 2 min voice note which we manage most weeks. So we have a fair idea of what’s going on in each others lives. We do also have video call catch ups but they are sporadic and we also try to get together in person a few times a year.