Downsizing - small house in our current area or a larger one further away?

[AMillionPeopleCheering]

We still live in our family home in what has become an expensive area. The children have moved out and both live in major cities a long way from us. They both want to buy somewhere in the next year or two, so our plan is to downsize to give them money to get on the ladder. The problem is if we give the kids money, we can't afford anything we like in our current area, which is where all our friends are. If we move further away, we could adford something nicer. We keep going round in circles trying to decide.... any advice from people who've done similar would be welcome! We're not retired yet, but would like to in the next few years.

Downsize to something you like in your current area near your friends.
Then gift the kids whatever is left.

If it's not enough for them to buy where they want to then they can buy in a cheaper area and/or save for longer.

I'd think carefully before uprooting and moving just before retirement. Unless you want to which is fair enough.

I help my kids out a lot in case anyone thinks I'm mean.

How far away would you have to move?

What does "further away" look like? Would you be walking distance from a supermarket and GP / chemist? Have plenty of public transport options and a driveway while you are still able to drive a car.
Will the new house have a downstairs shower room for when you are older?

It would be about a 30 minute drive away - so an hour's round trip for coffee or a drink. No closer to the kids as they are both hundreds of miles away. They know we will help them with a deposit, but no numbers discussed yet, so no expectations.

Do not cut yourself off from your social network. There might be things you can get involved with in your new area and while that hour round trip may feel OK now, it could become far more arduous as you age.

And if you move away, give away a load of money and then find that you hate it, it's going to be much harder to move.

You MUST prioritise your needs. Stay where you have support and a network. Your kids won't want to be worrying about you as you get older. They will be glad of whatever deposit you can offer.

Thank you for the advice. I think you have given me a bit of a wake up call.

This is a crazy idea. If you are not even retired you have years left to live. How are you going to fund your old age if you sell your home and give your children the money? I would only downsize like this if I were really old and widowed / widowered and could not manage the garden etc in my current home.

What if one of you dies and the other is left alone in an area where you have no friends?And having to drive 30 minutes each way to see friends as you get older will become more difficult.

None of you gave me the answer to the question I asked, but gave me what I needed to hear. Mumsnet at it's best. Thank you.

That's funny and mumsnet as you say @AMillionPeopleCheering

I guess the answer to your question is a smaller house in your current area but dont forget your own needs as hopefully you'll live there a long time.

I was so opinionated as we are in similar position, wanting to pass on some money to kids instead of them waiting to inherit. We went to see a smaller, cheaper house but it had no downstairs loo.

So after a flurry of activity (that one viewing) we've done nothing since 😁

Smaller house in current area. You’re happy there, don’t leave the area.

as pp say, I’d think carefully about giving too much money away while you are still young. If you are early 60s you could have at least 20 years to live.

You come first. Future proof yourself. Look here for all the reasons why.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/elderly_parents The peace of mind you will give your children by setting yourselves up for old age is worth more than anything.

You need a downstairs bedroom and bathroom. A driveway for your car and for carers/assistance. A flat walk to wherever. Shops, doctor, pharmacy, library, church etc handy. A hospital not far away. A support network of friends of different ages so some will be active when you aren’t.

Old appliances replaced for new will save you money in electricity use. Do you want to invest in solar and battery? Do you want to invest in an electric car and it’s charging point?

These are all things you should and need to think of and put into place while you have the energy and the finances to do it.

It may be that providing deposits to the children may not be better for you or them. Gifting lump sums instead a bit later to overpay the mortgage as they go along may be worth investigating.

We've been looking a houses where a room downstairs could be someone's bedroom if needed in future and there is enough living space in kitchen/diner. Ironically our current house has this and a downstairs shower room.

But we are walking distance to town rather than in it but houses right in town tend not to have parking.

Lots to think about for sure

I know a lot of people say of mid 70's and older. Some of them are married with adult kids and grandkids. Some of them are single. I have seen several different situations with housing in this age group as well.
From what I have seen and heard from friends and family I wish people would consider what could happen after retirement. I also have seen big family homes now with 1 or people living in them and these house don't always work for people as they get older.

Then big family home can be an older building that needs more maintenance and after a certain number of years the boiler, windows ect need to be replaced. Then a bigger house has more running costs, bigger bills and may not be near public transport.

I would say that moving from a big family home to a smaller house or a well run apartment complex in a town is a good idea. A downstairs bedroom and a wet room makes life easier especially as you get older. Also being in a town means you have shops, doctors, services and public transport.

In the situation the 1st poster mentioned here I would look at buying a smaller home or apartment with at least 2 bedrooms, a downstairs bedroom and downstairs wet room.
I would stay in your local area where you have friends and work on building up some younger friends. As you get older your social network is important especially if your adult kids are living a long distance away from you.

I see the difference in people that keep up there social networks, get involved in things and keep in contact with friends and family as they get older it's better for both there physical and mental health.