If you grew up ‘working class’, what’s life like today?

[lineions]

Was chatting about this with a friend recently and wondering what others’ experience was like?

My upbringing (1980s) could be best described as ‘filled with love and food’. Dad was originally a miner who later retrained and became a vicar, mum was a stay at home parent. Grandparents and extended family on both sides were poor farmers or miners.

We had very little money growing up, clothes from charity shops, lots of scrimping and saving and parents never owned a home. I was fortunate to have a really good, happy childhood, though to this day I dislike waste and struggle to buy anything unless it’s a bargain of some kind. I was the first in my family to go to uni and I now have a good career with good salary and own home. I even have investments (shock, horror!!).

Curious as to how upbringing affected your future life? There’s no right answers by the way.

Similar to you. Single working class mother in the 80/90s. Never had much money and had a had a few rocky patches but always had a roof over our head and food on the table. I was the first to go to university. Got a Masters, worked for a large multinational for 20 years working and living abroad. Married, two kids, own our home outright, debt free. Also have investments. Guess that makes me middle class now?

My dad was unemployed for a length of time when I was a child and we subsequently lost the house we owned and moved into private rental accommodation. Didn't go abroad until I was a teenager. I was the first person in my entire extended family to go to uni. My childhood was happy and not without treats and nice things - but I remember just knowing that financial pressures were causing stress to my mum and dad. I was conscious that they didn't have lots of money at all and the fact we were pretty skint was always just at the back of my mind.

It makes me cringe to type this but anyone who knows me now would assume I'm middle class, I suppose I am on paper but not in my frame of mind if that makes sense.

Probably as a direct result of my parents losing their house when I was a child, financial security is so important to me. I've worked hard to progress in my career over the years and we will be mortgage free in a couple of years. I often look at the lives my children have and think, they will have absolutely no idea to know what it's like to grow up with financial worries. We live in a spacious house, they've enjoyed holidays and trips to lovely places, and they've never heard me or my husband argue/stress over money. It's very different.

I think coming from a stable, loving but poor home teaches you what matters in life and gives a really solid sense of self. It comes as absolutely no surprise to me, or to anyone who knew me as a child, that I have done so well in life, the grit my early years gave me was formative.

My mum didn't work for most of my childhood, she's not worked since I was 10, she was mentally unwell and sectioned a few times. My parents were divorced and my dad tried but he didn't know the full extent of what I was going through. We were very poor.
I left home at 16 with just about my GCSEs. I had a child at 22. I'm pretty smart and that has served me well. I own a business and have been self employed for a long time. DS has been given a great childhood, a safe and loving one I didn't have, with opportunities. I'm married but not to DS's dad (that relationship was a vile one that I was fortunate enough to escape). We own a lovely house and holiday abroad every year. We're not rich, but comfortable in the current climate.
When I look back at my childhood and late teens/early 20's, my life could have ended up down a very different path. I was determined to give DS the childhood I missed out on and that fuelled me.

I really luckily found myself in a job I loved and became very successful at. People assumed I was ambitious and had a plan but I really didn't. I did well because work was fun to me so I worked hard and moved up the ladder without trying.

My parents were supportive but had brought me up with a 'we're the Indians, not the chief' mentality. A bit 'don't get above your station' to be fair They were really proud of what I achieved and a bit surprised I think.

I'd never say this in real life as it sounds boastful, but I did better than I ever expected to. When you're working class, comprehensive educated there's a danger that you don't expect to do well. Perhaps it's different now but I wish I could tell all working class children to shoot for the stars, follow your passions and know you're equal to any challenge.

My upbringing make me really conscious of saving and watching what I was spending and, because I earned well I was able to retire early. I'm still working class in my head and heart but possibly my life now looks middle class on paper.

I come from a working class family. There was a lot of love there but because of our lack of money, and lack of knowledge or access to therapy, there was a lot of unhealed trauma that led to alcoholism and abuse. So I had a mixture of a really lovely childhood and a really awful childhood. There were only a few women in my family who worked, and they were looked down upon by the women who didn’t because they were neglecting their children by sending them to nursery. So I was only ever expected to become a mom and live off my husbands’ wages.

When I was about 12 I decided that as much as I’ve always wanted to be a mom, I wanted to do other things too and I became interested in politics, music etc. I was also the first in my family to go to uni. For one side of my family they thought it was brilliant, the other side seemed to think I abandoned them, and thought I was quite cold. I vividly remember being 23 and my mom crying because she would never be a Nan!.

Anyway! I did well at uni, I got a job that I love even if it isn’t the best pay. My partner and I have an absolutely brilliant relationship, we managed to save and buy a home. We have a lovely family, we can afford to go on holiday and do fun activities that I never got to do as a kid. I’m really content in my life, I’ve done better than I ever thought I could, but I do still feel guilty for it. The side of my family that are proud of me have now started comparing all my younger family members to me and moaning that they aren’t doing as good, and then the other side think I’m very different to them. It’s tough sometimes, but I’m very happy with my life.

Similar to you. Not having had money, I love having money but am very careful with it.

My childhood was miserable — I grew up in a big, poor family in a deep recession, with my dad either unemployed or on strike much of the time. I grew up thinking I would spend my life being lucky to have a minimum wage job in a factory or shop, and just accepting I would always be poor. I insisted on staying at school against my parents’ wishes, and won scholarships that saw me through university. My life has been so much more rich and fulfilling and varied than I’d ever expected.

I grew up WC on a council estate , passed the 11plus and went to a grammar school. My lifestyle is definitely MC with no money worries. I still feel a mixture of both classes and sometimes think how did I end up in my life and mixing with the people I do?

Dad was also a miner, mum worked part-time sometimes in low paid jobs. In fairness my life was good, I was the only child of an only child and got lots of love and attention and as much resources as possible. Talking to a childhood friend recently and she made a throw away comment that I was better off than her as a child but these things are all relative. I strongly remember the miner’s strikes and the impact that had.

It made me determined to succeed and luckily I was very academically able. I have a secure job and earn around £200K however I have only very recently started to spend money frivolously on myself. I have a long-term partner but we are financially separate, I have a deep need to protect my assets, though day to day I am generous with family and friends.

I write this feeling quite emotional. Interestingly though my parents are proud of me sometimes I think my work life is so different from their own experiences that our ability to connect has reduced as I have progressed. It is more complicated than that, my mum has longstanding and significant mental health problems, but honestly I think she’d be happier if I worked in ASDA.

My parents were supportive but had brought me up with a 'we're the Indians, not the chief' mentality. @DorsetKnobBiscuit

Yes, same here. I never really applied myself at school and actually failed my mock A levels. I always loved to read and was really curious about the world but as no one in my family was academic, I never thought uni was me. When it dawned on me age 17 that if I didn’t get my act together, I’d be unemployed at 18, I knuckled down. I surprised everyone (including myself) by getting A, B, B in my A levels and somehow landed myself a place at a red brick uni (through clearing). I got a full grant (before tuition fees were a thing) and it was at uni that I really found myself and developed a love of learning. I then got an internship at a London company. Funnily enough the local paper even did a little story on me - prompted entirely by my mum who knew one of the writers. She was bursting with pride.

My hang ups today - I still can’t bring myself to buy anything expensive and I’m always looking for discount codes. My extended family think I’m ‘posh’. I’m really not.

Dm was a school dinner lady, f was a nasty minimum wage mechanic. Six children meant free school meals and never enough space, time, privacy, one bathroom between 8. Miserable.

My life now - a full time working single mum with a business degree & a tech career, one ds, a four bed detached house I own outright, a decent car, good pension, private education for ds from 11+, a STEM course for him at a good university.

I hated the life I watched my dm endure and swore I'd have the opposite, that my child would have a joyful childhood.

And we have 🙂 So yes, middle class now I guess.