Love bombing to crumbs. I think I’m having withdrawals.

[Redmini5]

With hindsight I believe I experienced love bombing. Overall intense love, showing me of like he was so proud, always saying he missed and love me etc.

we broke up and he wanted to stay in contact which I allowed. Everyday consistently after the breakup was “I love you” “ I miss you” “life is so sh*t’. I questioned the dynamic and we had a call. He’s completely switched on me. On the call he said it makes him said to hear I’m happy without him. To hear I’m living my life without him. Like a switch the coldest person I’ve ever met. Ignoring me and making it extremely difficult to even have a conversation.

although I know I should be like F him. It almost feels like I became addicted to the reality he created and it’s like I’m having withdrawal. I’m stupid for allowing him to stay in contact my gut told me this would happen.

Basically I’m posting this to hear opinions, or whatever as I’ve blocked him so need to reframe from unblocking. And thought mumsnet post will help me stick to it.

How long have you been with him?

2 years we was together. He has always been extremely clingy, needed a lot of reassurance. So I got used to that overwhelming style of affection. I let it happen and accepted it as he lost a parent to suicide when he was young

Who ended it and why?

Your gut was right. This is love bombing followed by 'breadcrumbing' where he gives you enough little rewards of affection to keep you hooked.

Keep him blocked. Revert to being happy living your life without him. Don't spare a thought for how lonely or upset he might be, as he will very soon find another woman to string along to meet his own needs.

Sorry op but he sounds a bit unhinged. Definitely give this one a swerve and cut contact.

the relationship ended as I brought up how it felt unbalanced. He was very emotional dependent and draining and he would come over and use all my stuff and wouldn’t contribute etc. he would spend all his money unwisely then use my resources. I told him how I can’t sit and have this happened. He said because he’s very low mentally he’s being selfish and he knows he’s doing it. I told him I need it to change and he said he hasn’t got capacity to do it.

we split because he neede to “sort his head” and get professional help. I did care especially he spoke about how dark his mental state was I was even worried. But the way he’s treated me when I’ve been nothing but there for him in his darkness. In his paranoia and I’ve listened even in the circumstances. It all feels unjust so I’ve just blocked.

After he said he doesn’t want to speak to me because he doesn’t like to hear I’m happy without him. It’s made me think has he been ignoring me, treating me like I don’t exist now to get back at me

He is definitely trying to get back at you which is very unpleasant behaviour.

He's a headworker. Keep blocked. He will find another victim soon.