Ive got myself in a stupid mess

[gloriousday34]

I go to a particular gym that basically wraps you in a contract. I had a chat a while back in may with a man there. we got it off. Really got on. He pushed it down the sex route. I said no. Blocked him. Moved on.

He resurfaced out of the blue 3 weeks ago. We spoke for ages. We kissed ans it was a stupid mistake. And since then. Ive not felt right going to my safe space of the gym after work as ive not seen him since. Then, ive also been feeling weird that we kissed and that was just that. I feel something toward him. Not something I want to act on. But I feel something.

Now im f*cked because I’m desperate to stop feeling this way ans dont know how

The only way to stop that feeling is no contact for several months

Sod the contract, find another gym. Are you single? Is he? What do you want to happen?

Stay away, go to another gym and please don't think of anywhere as a 'safe space', because this experience should show you there aren't any.

You kissed someone who you don’t want to kiss again.

It’s fine, you don’t have to.

No other gyms in the area as good as this one. And now I like a man who doesn’t even like me nor have I seen him since. Which on the surface sounds great. But I now get to the gym and all I can think of is him when I’m there and then I’m sad when I don’t see him. I’m actually stupid.

Is there a law against asking for advice. I hadn’t kissed this individual at that point. Why are you so angry

Just accept feeling your uncomfortable feelings and carry on at the gym. Or leave the gym. You have options. But the feelings will very probably pass. Or do you feel in danger? Which is completely different. If they’re just uncomfortable feelings, let them happen and go to the gym.

It’s just discomfort. I feel weird when I don’t see him. Like I miss him. But I also don’t care but I kissed him so I feel something

And I hear you on all of that. Those are deeply, horrible, uncomfortable feelings. They hurt. They probably hurt a lot. But I promise they will pass. Don’t let them ruin somewhere you love being. Don’t let them make you feel unsafe in a place you enjoy being. You sound confused and anxious right now, and like you do care, because you’re human. That’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up for having human feelings.

This is about the fourth thread lately about fucked up relationships at the gym. All very similar.

It's your own fault, so find another gym.

Yeah mines one of many. It’s a place I frequent daily so of course something is bound to happen

Just sit with the discomfort. It will pass.

You are having a busy day aren’t you OP? If it’s not one thing it’s another. Terrible business.

I'm not angry. Just find this all a bit sad from an adult woman.