Sibling idolatry and having a mind of one's own?

[Beanawhile]

DD(4) and DS (7) are quite close. They generally get on well, laugh heaps. They have the usual sibling spats but mostly have a lovely relationships. DD absolutely idolises DS, and has a tendency to adapt to the needs/wants of others around her. Is this very common? Should I be helping her have a more strong sense of self, or is this just a temporary age stage (or a permanent personality thing?)

Here are some examples:
She says she wants to be a boy like DS, she wants the same short hair cut like DS, she wants to be called by his nickname instead of hers, and she claims to only want to be a knight or ninja (two of DS's favourite themes). However, if she's left to her own devices, she'll chose Sylvanian Families or her Peppa doll house. But she also seems reluctant to put her own opinion first, for example if I ask what she would like for tea, she asks me/DH/DS first what we want, and just goes along with it.

She's very young, and there's plenty of time for her to develop her own wants, needs and personality. It sounds like a refreshing change from the toddlers and little ones who seem to have tantrums every time they don't get what they want. I see them in the supermarket, kicking, screaming and throwing themselves on the floor when they don't get their own way. Just enjoy this phase while it lasts. It won't last forever.

She's only four. Things will change. I do feel it'd be a good idea to actively support her own opinions, though. Deciding what you'd like for tea is a life skill (being in touch with what your body wants; having confidence that your choices are valid) that warrants early encouragement.

My DC2 hero worshipped DC1. If given a choice on anything his answer was always "same as DS1."

It all changed with puberty and now DC2 has a really strong self-identity and very much makes his own decisions.

I wouldn't worry.

really
You're overthinking big time
let them be. it's lovely

If it worries you, you could try asking her less open-ended questions. Like offering 2 options for tea, basically a or b questions then she might not immediately defer to others.

if you’re not reacting positively when she says she wants short hair like ds for example - then that might sow doubt in her mind that she’s not good at decisions!

you could also sort of go with the flow exploring her opinion, and say “short hair like ds that sounds good would you want it similar but a bit longer so you could wear your fave hair bands etc”…..I think that could help build her confidence

If she can try out her opinions that might help her too.

Also again if you’re worried you might think about whether your son tends to direct play etc. which I think is fine. But it would also be fine to see if he can adapt his preferences with those of his sister like turn taking in choosing dinners games etc. as long as you’re not forcing things think that would be fine

Just remind her that she can have her own opinions. “Really, you want sausages again? I thought you preferred fish fingers…”.

But I adored my older brother when I was a child. I grew into my own, and became less shy & more confident as I got older and we spent less time together due to school etc. I was 14 when he went to uni. I missed him a lot, but had my own stuff going on too.